Retracing His Steps
by Harbinger
Summary: After a fall has left him without memories, an amnesiac Cezary Regard attempts to find out about his past.
1. Chapter 1

His name was Cezary Regard; that much was certain. Rather he assumed that it was certain. After all, his belongings had that name written on all of them with a message informing anyone who read it that it was indeed his property. It seemed unlikely that he would write someone else's name on his own things, and it certainly wouldn't do any good to second-guess the only bit of information he had to work with.

The truth was that he had no idea as to who he was beyond that name. From what he had been told he was found a three months ago in a nearby forest with a serious blow to the back of the head. A bit of Ragnaid had ensured his survival and had mended a little of his fractured skull, but it still had taken him another month to wake up. Since then he had been trying to piece together his identity, getting nowhere other than the fact that his name was Cezary Regard.

"Well now, you've healed up nicely." His musings were interrupted by the doctor pulling the Ragnaid capsule off the back of his head and reapplying his bandages, "Seems you're back in one piece finally. You should probably keep the bandages for a few more weeks; you know, just to make sure that you don't agitate the fracture too much. Though I'd say your best bet is to avoid trees for awhile."

"Right, thanks doc…" Cezary tried to laugh at the joke. It was the least he could do. Doctor Engel had been well more than hospitable to him during his recovery. The good doctor had been the one who found him injured underneath a tree while on a walk one day. He had taken him in, gotten him fixed up, and helped him rebuild his strength since he had awoken. Even after Cezary admitted to having no money he had still treated him without complaint. When questioned as to why, he had just shrugged and said that back in his army days he would treat anyone regardless of what side they were on or how bad their wounds. Apparently he had served as a doctor in the Imperial army back during the war. Afterwards, he found himself liking Gallia enough that he emigrated with his family after the treaty had been signed, coming to settle in the small mountain village of Breeden. While initially distrusted, his jovial nature and willingness to help around town had earned him the acceptance of the locals. Quite frankly Cezary couldn't think of anyone better to have stumbled upon him.

"You seem preoccupied." Engel noticed his rather quiet composure today "Come on, if you want to climb a tree don't let me stop you. Just make sure not to fall down this time!"

The younger man sighed, though not at the joke. Truthfully, from his time in Breeden he knew that he was terrified of heights, and could only wonder what had possessed him to even try to climbing anything larger than a waist high fence.

"Sorry…I was just thinking that maybe I should try and head off soon." He said, "Of course I don't know what I'd do. Kind of hard when you can barely remember your own name huh?"

Engel nodded with a low 'hmm' and sat down across from him, "Still haven't remembered anything?"

Cezary shook his head "No.…At this point I'm wondering if I'll ever get anything back."

"Well, like I've told you before I'm not sure how long you were out. Plus we still don't know enough about the brain to know what's going on up there right now." Engel rubbed his chin thoughtfully, looking like he was trying to find a better answer than that, "But I suppose you're right. Staying here isn't going to help you get your memory back. Maybe you should try to find out more about yourself. Maybe find someone who might have known you. They say that if you're exposed to something from your past it might trigger a memory or two. It was something of the sort. I'm no psychologist!" he laughed.

"Yeah I guess, but where would I start? I don't even know where I'm from or anyone who might have known me." It wasn't entirely true. One thing that he had realized while staying in Breeden was that he was probably from Gallia. He didn't have any sort of travel papers indicating that he might be from the Federation or Empire. Going over his possessions he saw that he was traveling rather lightly, as though he was just visiting these mountains to do something, and then leave. The problem was that there was enough traffic through the area that no one remembered him coming into town. So beyond that he was from somewhere in Gallia that was not Breeden he had no ideas.

"Heh heh…well I might be able to be of some help there. Wait just a minute." Engel chuckled as he walked out of the room. When he came back he had something in his hand that he tossed to Cezary. It was a bullet, one of the things found in his pack.

"I dug out enough of those from our soldiers to know that's a 7.92mm Gallian military round." He grinned, "and my son's taken a liking to your rifle. He says it's a really good one, a…ah…GSR model thirty…I think. The boy loves reading those military books so I'll take his word on it. A good rifle he says, not too many issued."

He leaned in a bit closer, still grinning "From that alone I'm willing to bet that you've served in the Gallian military during the war Mr. Regard."

"Me? A soldier?" the thought seemed foreign, but then again so did just about any other one.

"It makes sense, Gallia has universal conscription, and most young men were drafted into the militia when the war began. Really, for a man your age I'm surprised I didn't think of it sooner." Engel leaned back, still bubbling with excitement, "In fact I bet if you contacted the army you could find out all sorts of things about yourself!"

"The military huh…so I guess I have to go to Randgriz then?" Cezary had to admit he was getting excited about this himself. Months of trying to recall who he was revealed nothing, now he finally had a clue. If Engel was right then there would have to be records of his time in the military. There was just one problem with that, "Eh…but how do I get there?" he asked, somewhat embarrassed at how easily he had gotten caught up in the idea .

"Just leave that to me." Engel said, "I was going to travel to Randgriz in a few days actually. I have some supplies to pick up and some paperwork to fill out." He sighed with a sad smile, "Citizenship is a long and arduous process my friend, but if this time around going there will help you as well I'd be more than happy to give you ride."

"You will? That's…I really can't thank you enough for this…" Cezary stammered, still shocked at this sudden revelation.

"Well a doctor must help his patients right?" Engel chuckled, "Though if you're feeling up for it I could use an extra pair of hands around the home today."

"Uh yes…uh thank you again doctor…" Engel simply nodded with a smile and left him to getting out of bed. For once he felt like he actually had some energy to spare. After getting dressed he took a moment to gather his thoughts by the window in his room. After all this time of not remembering anything he finally had a clue as to who he was, and idea as to who he may have been before all this. He almost didn't want to wait the few days it would take and leave for Randgriz right then. It was a silly idea that he quickly perished. The capital was at least a week away by foot, and it would do him no good to try and rush things. No, it looked like he'd just have to be satisfied with a few days of busy work before he could go there.

Still, he wanted to know who he was. Who was he beyond the name Cezary Regard? No matter what it took he knew he would find out.

Author's notes: Probably a bit shorter than I wanted, but this first chapter is up. After beating the game I was kind of bothered by Cezary's epilogue. Even though I didn't use him too much (Catherine and Marina being my main snipers) it seems like they didn't put too much thought into it. 'Oh he uh...just lost his memory yeah...' seems cheap (on another note I think the same thing about Catherine's ending 'She...uh...became a hermit! That'll work right?'). True, not many seem to like him, but since he's a secondary character he never gets much character development unlike the main cast. Unfortunately we don't know much beyond a paragraph in the book, and his potentials. So while Rosie moves past her hatred of Darcsens he never gets the same treatment (though from what I've seen of the manga he might actually be getting some redemption), and we're stuck believing that the guy hates Darcens throughout the whole war, despite being in the same unit as several of them and liberating a concentration camp. Now I don't expect him to do a full one-eighty right away, but is it too much to ask that he might have come out of the war better than going in? It's the main reaosn why I decided to write this, to see his growth throughout the war, as told by his old comrades.

As for Dr. Engel...The thing is when I was playing the game I noticed how you could pretty much predict how most of the Imperial soldiers would act (**EVIL!!!**). Now I know that there is the one chapter where the lieutenant lets Welkin and Alicia go, and there is the Behind her Blue Flame DLC (though let's be honest, they were going against Damon. He makes anyone look good); however most Imperials tend to be depicted as trying to be as evil as possible. Even if you point out the parallels with World War II, there were plenty of Germans who weren't that evil. So really Engel was just my little attempt to give the Empire's military a bit of a break.


	2. Chapter 2

Castle Randgriz, the Jewel of Europa shined as a bright beacon in the morning light, visible for miles. It was the first thing Cezary saw of capital city. Even with the construction scaffolding jutting out in front it nonetheless was a breathtaking sight, and he couldn't help but be drawn in by it.

"Hate to say it, but you look like a little kid." Engel said from the driver's seat. His truck was an old one, dating back to the end of the First Europan war, but the doctor still preferred it over any newer models, "Anything ring a bell?"

"…I don't know, I have the feeling I've been here…I guess." Cezary shrugged, "What happened to the castle?"

"That was a good one. It happened at the end of the war, that crazy Maximillian drove in and just stole the damned tower!" Engel chuckled, "Ah those were interesting times. All that time and effort just to ram your enemy's castle and take part of it home with you!"

"You're kidding!" Cezary laughed, "The war was fought over something like that?"

"Ah, well wars are never fought over something so simple, but he did take the tower. It housed an old Valkyurian weapon; he probably wanted to use it against the Federation I suppose. He was beaten pretty soon after. One hell of a battle, someone actually broadcast the whole thing as it was happening." Engel said, still laughing to himself about his previous joke, "I guess the princess decided to wait to fix it up; you know, empty the coffers for rebuilding the parts of the country that needed it first. I'm sure it will be back to its former glory soon enough though."

"Ah…I just wish I could have seen it before."

"What? You probably have seen it before! Don't get so worried about it." Engel clapped him on the back, "I'm sure once you ask around a bit you'll start to remember. And if not who cares? They'll rebuild it good as new, and no one but some stuck up elitists will care that its not the original. In a few years no one will ever know it was gone."

"…Hmm…Well they will remember one thing." It was the younger's turn to grin, "An insane foreign prince stole it once."

"Ah see, at least now you'll remember the important parts!" Engel joined him in laughing, "It's nice to see you getting a bit more cheery. All you need to do is keep your chin up and you'll figure things out."

Cezary wasn't convinced, "Well so long as someone remembers me. I'd hate for this to be a wild goose chase."

"Pah, if they have no records of you then we look somewhere else. Gallia revolves around Randgriz. If you were in the war then I'm sure someone has seen you. Even if we have to ask everyone in town I know we'll find someone. Besides, if your luck has been this bad so far it's sure to turn around. Right?"

Cezary just shrugged and went back to looking at the city in the distance while Engel starting talking about war stories. It wasn't that he was bored of the doctor, far from it. His stories of his comrades were always fun to listen to (apparently there was a cabin he and some others in his squad had built in less than a day somewhere in the Imperial trenches at the Naggiar Plains). He just had too much on his mind to want to listen at the moment. Just seeing the city only served to remind him that he couldn't remember anything about his life, and further made him want to know more. He was pretty sure that there would be something in the military's records about him, but there was always that nagging doubt in the back of his mind. What if he hadn't served? What if they wouldn't help him even if he had? He didn't have any identification papers, even a pair of dog tags that most former soldiers would have. Would they even be willing to deal with someone who didn't know anything beyond his name?

He became lost in his thoughts, preemptively trying to figure out excuses he might be able to give, maybe find someone to bribe (which he quickly discounted with his lack of money), or even a way to just look through the files without anyone knowing. He was too busy scheming that he almost didn't hear Engel announce their arrival.

"Ah, nice to see there's not too much traffic today. Always nice leaving this thing close to the castle; less of a walk that way." He said as the two got out, "Now I think you should be trying over there at the military offices." He gave another reassuring slap on the back, "Good luck, I'm sure you'll find something. Unfortunately, my day is looking less thrilling. I shall see you in a few hours, after I'm through with this round of papers."

With that Cezary was left standing near the gates of Castle Randgriz. Hoping that things wouldn't go entirely disastrously he set off.

***

It wasn't disastrous Disastrously would have been wasting hours of his time for nothing. As it was Cezary could say that it was only partially disastrous. His fears had been confirmed when the army clerk demanded some form of identification. When he had be unable to produce any, and even after trying to explain his situation he had almost been arrested. Had it not been for the timely arrival of a militiaman officer he would have undoubtedly spent the night in Randgriz Castle's dungeon. Even so, it still had taken him another few hours of being jostled between militia clerks before he had finally gotten hold of part of his file. It wasn't much, the rest was classified unless he could prove he was who he claimed (they had at least been apologetic about it though).

After the debacle that had been military bureaucracy all Cezary wanted to do was sit down in a relatively quiet spot and find out what he could about himself. A roadside café on the city's main street provided just that environment. After drinking a bit of coffee to calm his nerves he opened the thin envelope and pulled out two pieces of paper. He sighed, it definitely wasn't much. It was the part of the file open to the public, mainly for any media or scholars.

"Well anything's better than nothing right?" he tried to convince himself, before starting to read. He was relieved to find out that he was indeed Cezary Regard. His identification photo from his conscription on the top of the page assured him of that, "Let's see…born 1912 in Darnel…the Barious region? Sniper in Militia Squad Seven…a few awards…I guess I was better than I thought." He continued poring over the paper, taking in each scrap of information, trying to find something, anything that could help him further.

"Heeey! Mr. Sniper!" His focus was abruptly shattered by a woman's voice that nearly caused him to fall over. By the time he had recovered he realized someone had sat down across from him. A grinning blond woman was twirling a pen in her hand, having seemingly materialized in the seat, "Sorry about that, but I saw you talking to yourself and thought you might like some company. And while we're at it how about a few questions?" she asked, in a flash a notebook appeared in her hand, "So Mr. Regard what have you been up to since the war ended? How much do you keep in touch with your old comrades? Know about any of your fellow snipers? Hard to keep track of your group you know. Anything you'd like to tell the people of Gallia? How about-"

"Ah…uh miss?" his mind finally managed to catch up with the situation, "…Do…uh…Do I know you?"

The woman seemed shocked at the question, "Hey now, how could you forget me. I was with your unit during the war." His blank expression told her no, "You have to remember, it's Irene Koller…er I guess you knew me as Irene Ellet, Squad Seven's very own imbedded reporter!" it was an unexpected windfall if that was the case. He hadn't even had to try to find anyone, she had just found him.

"Uh…the thing is…I really don't remember much of anything…" Cezary laughed nervously. For the first time since she sat down Irene suddenly seemed to notice the bandages wrapped around his head.

"Don't tell me…you have amnesia?" he nodded, yet this only seemed to make her more interested in him, "Now that's something I wouldn't expect. One of the members of the infamous Squad Seven loses his memory. Heh, I guess that explains why you're reading your own file there. So do you know how it happened?"

"Yeah…I fell out of a tree. I'm still wondering why I climbed it in the first place."

"So I take it that you came here to find out a little about yourself. I see you remembered that you were in the militia at least." Irene seemed to be thinking of something else even as she said that. After a few moments her eyes lit up and a mischievous grin formed on her face, "Well then you should consider yourself lucky that I happened to be passing by!"

"What are you talking abou- Hey!" the woman's mind seemed to be working several steps ahead of him as she grabbed his arm and pulled him out of his seat, barely giving enough time for him to grab his file.

"If you're looking for information then I have everything you need!" She continued, still pulling him along without a care of whether or not he was still on his feet. He finally managed to catch up and keep pace alongside the energetic woman she led him across a maze of several side streets, "I have everything I took when you guys were at the front. Have to keep it for the book after all. Of course I wish I could find out a bit more about you snipers. Three of you just seemed to disappear once the treaty was signed. I guess you at least have an excuse though right?"

Cezary could barely keep up. He knew her intentions were honest, but she kept going on as though he actually remembered what she was talking about. He couldn't complain though, she was going out of her way to help him, and if she knew as much as she claimed then this woman was something he had originally thought he could only hope for. So he did his best to try to pay attention as she led him through the streets.

It didn't take long. A few minutes later he found himself following her into a building called the Writing on the Wall, a small newspaper company by all appearances. He guess that she was the owner of said company considering that it looked like that she lived in the upper floors as well.

"And here we are." She announced as they entered what he guessed was her office. It looked about what he expected a reporter's office to look. Various papers were scattered haphazardly around her desk, various shelves housed stacks of photos or recordings. With a smile she turned back to him, "Like I said, need to keep everything around. So, what are you looking for?"

"Anything that could tell me who I am really." Cezary answered as he accepted a stool to sit on, "Did you talk to me much?"

"Ah, a little. I tried to get in a few words with the whole squad." Irene said, stroking her chin thoughtfully, "Problem is that there were more soldiers in Squad Seven than you probably think. Oh!" her eyes lit up as something came to mind, "I have a few photos of you snipers. Plus I think I still have your interview from back at the beginning of the war. Just a second!" the fact that there was no particular order to the mess of files in the room didn't seem to stop her from pulling a set of photos from the middle of a seemingly random pile. She apparently had some semblance of order.

"Let's see…Ah!" she chuckled at the first in the pile, "This was just after the battle at Bruhl. I can't believe I managed to get the five of you in one shot."

It was a well-shot photo he had to admit. It was a posed picture with the five of them sitting on top of a tank. At the far right a black-haired woman seemed to be more interested in her rifle resting on her lap with her one visible eye turned downward. Further left there was a group of three, two kids that he guessed were brothers were cheering on either side of a smiling older woman with a hand on either one of their shoulders. And then there was him, sitting hunched a bit over his rifle with a crooked and self-assured grin on his face. It was an amazing contrast as to what he had been feeling as of late. Then again, the Cezary in the picture was a man with his entire past and memories intact. It was only natural for him to look so much more confident than the Cezary of now.

"Check the backside." He flipped the photo over at her request. Some writing had been scribbled there.

10/9/35: The Snipers of Squad Seven on the Edelweiss after the liberation of Bruhl. From left to right: Cpl. Cezary Regard, Pvt. Emile Bielert, Sgt. Catherine O'Hara, Pvt. Oscar Bielert, Spc. Marina Wulfstan.

"Those were your comrades." Irene explained, "Actually if I remember you were in a pretty good mood that day. That was when you managed to kill Mash the Hunter, one of the Empire's ace snipers."

"Really?" Cezary flipped over the photo, "I guess that explains the way I look…I wonder, was I always this cocky?"

"Ah…sort of." Irene answered while she was loading a roll of tape into a recorder, "If I remember right you were more stuck up than overconfident." She glanced over at him, noting his confusion, "Well, take this interview for example. I managed to catch you soon after your first battle. I was trying to see if I could get some stories on what people were fighting for. Heh, at least you were honest."

"Here, just listen." She preempted any questions and started the playback.

***

_Irene was confused. Despite being near the frontlines of the war she was having trouble finding any of the militia that had been involved in the recent battle to claim West Vasel. Sure plenty of them would probably be resting, but she was sure that there would have been someone out and about. It just seemed odd that they would be hiding from the press. Even if that were the case she wanted to find someone. She hadn't traveled out to the front just to interview Lieutenant Gunther. That would be something any half-baked reporter would try to pull off for some quick popular stories. He was a man to watch out for definitely, but the war was going to be about the common soldier as well, the little man actually fighting and bleeding for his country. She wanted to find a few and get their thoughts._

_Her hopes seemed to be answered when she spotted a young man heading towards the shooting range with an Imperial rifle in hand. From the crosshairs on the back of his uniform she could tell he was a sniper._

_"Ooh, this could be interesting." She said as she started to tail him. If he noticed he never gave any indication as he continued to the range, and began to examine the rifle._

_"Hi there." She approached him. He glanced over his shoulder, noting the pen and notebook in her hands, as well as the recorder slung by her side._

_"Who are you?" he asked his attention once again on the rifle. He opened the bolt and slipped in a round._

_"Ah right, sorry I'm Irene Ellet, a reporter. I'm trying to get some information on the soldiers fighting this war. Do you mind if I ask you a few questions?"_

_"…Yeah sure, go ahead." He shouldered the gun. Irene knew enough about them to cover her ears before he fired. He frowned, obviously unimpressed by the shot._

_"So the basics, who are you and what unit are you with?"_

_"Private Cezary Regard, I'm with militia Squad Seven." He answered flatly, loading a new round._

_"Ah, under Lieutenant Gunther eh? So any thoughts on your commander?" she asked. Cezary stopped the process of aiming long enough to give a derisive snort._

_"The lieutenant? Yeah, he leads us safe inside a tank while I have Imps taking potshots at me. Real brave there." He was obviously a cynical one._

_"Ah, so you think he's afraid of the 'real' combat?"_

_"Well…I guess I can't blame him." A small smile curled up at the corner of his mouth, "I mean if I had the choice I'd rather be inside a tank than out. You know, keep a few centimeters of steel between the enemy and me. "_

_"I can't argue with you there." She made a note to chuckle at his joke, if only to break the ice a bit more, "So how about yourself, how are you holding up with what's happened?"_

_"How am I holding up?" he asked after taking another shot, again looking more and more annoyed at the rifle, "I don't want to be here. I hate being shot at."_

_"Huh, pretty straight forward there. Don't care to protect your home?"_

_"Protect my home right…" Cezary rolled his eyes, "My home is in the desert. There's nothing worth taking out there. And you know what? I have to be here. As soon as they invaded I was a conscript. Protect my home? I don't even have a choice. What can I do? Go AWOL? Yeah then both Gallia and the Empire will be trying to kill me. Even if the Imps somehow capture me they'll probably put a bullet in the back of my head rather than take a prisoner. We snipers don't get very good treatment in POW camps. Where else can I go? The Federation? They'll either shoot me or stick me in one of their uniforms and throw me at the Imps." He took another shot, again frowning when he looked down at the target, "Geez, did they zero this thing in with the bayonet still attached?"_

_"So did that influence your choice to be a sniper?" Irene asked as he put the rifle down._

_"Yeah, I'll risk being captured over getting shot. Let the idiot glory hounds take the machine guns and run headlong to their deaths. I'll take the job where I need to hide. At least then I'm not up close with bullets flying everywhere. Though if I had the choice I'd be behind the lines with the supply trucks. Too bad the army handles most of that." He snorted, and fired at the target again "Let me guess, you think I'm a coward? Yeah, well I just want to live through this war. I don't want to die…and I doubt anyone else does either. I'm just going to be honest about it. As soon as those Imps stop shooting at me I'll stop shooting back."_

_"I'll give you that." Irene nodded. She wasn't about to judge him. He had his reasons for his attitude, and she wasn't about to be unprofessional now, "Though I don't think Gunther is intending to throw you into the meat-grinder any time soon."_

_"Tch…yeah we'll see. I heard that he said we'd retake the bridge in less than two days. I'll probably be trying to swim back across the river by this time tomorrow. " Cezary shook his head as he shouldered the rifle, "He proves he's not out to just get a damned feather in his cap like Damon and maybe I'll believe he's worth something. So you done miss reporter?"_

_"Well I am curious; where did you get the rifle?"_

_"This? Wulfstan got an Imperial sniper during the last battle. A little bit ago she says I can have it. I can see why she didn't want it; the thing is a piece of junk. No wonder that sniper is dead." He shrugged, "I'll stick with my own."_

_"Makes sense, so what do you think about your fellow snipers?" she continued. He didn't try to hide his annoyance at her continued questioning._

_"The snipers? We've got a scared kid, a woman who hates everyone around her, and yours truly." He motioned to himself, "I actually feel a bit sorry for Corporal O'Hara; she has to deal with the rest of us. But hey she got through the last war, maybe she's used to it. I'm just glad I'm not the one in charge. Anything else?" he asked, his voice indicating that now would be a good time to shut up._

_"Nah, I won't hold you. Hope to see you later." Irene winked. Cezary chuckled for a moment before waving goodbye as he started back to the barracks. She was left dwelling on his words as she stopped the recorder, "A man who fights just so he can live…pretty basic reasoning, but that's what I'm out here for right? So I wonder if anyone else is around…"_

_***_

"…That's how I was?" Cezary asked after a few seconds of uncomfortable silence following the recording's end.

"You weren't the only one if that's what you're thinking. Plenty of Gallians weren't thrilled at going to war." Irene said, "Though you were a bit more stuck up than others. You told me later that the only one you trusted with your life was yourself."

"But then why did I do this?" Cezary showed her another photo, this one with him and one of the brothers. It looked to be in a camp out in the desert. Both were covered by a poncho with the younger smearing a dark paint just below his eyes. The elder of the two seemed to be in the middle of saying something while motioning off the edge of the photo. The caption on the back read '24/6/35: PFC. Cezary Regard (left) teaches Pvt. Emile Bielert (right) about desert survival' "or what about this?" he showed another photo. This one depicting him and another sighting down their rifles in the middle of a battle zone. He looked frusturated, angry at something. The caption read '14/10/35: Snipers operate close to the front at Naggiar Plains. Cpl. Cezary Regard and Spc. Marina Wulfstan provide sniper support for advancing shocktroopers.''

"I know I'm probably mad at being to close to the action, but wouldn't you think that I'd find a way…around it I guess?" he asked.

"Maybe you tried, but you're asking the wrong woman." Irene shrugged, "If you want to know you'd do better to ask your old squad."

"Yeah, if I could remember them." Cezary said all too bitterly, "If I acted like that recording they'd probably want nothing to do with me now."

"Don't put yourself down so much. They say war changes a man, and I was around your unit enough to know that none of you left the militia the same way when you arrived. There's more to you than just an interview at the beginning of it all." Irene once more put her chin in hand as a thought seemed to come to mind, "And you know, if you want to find your old buddies all you need to do is ask."

"Wait, you know?" Cezary seemed to perk up, causing a moment of amusement for the reporter.

"I wouldn't be a master of the trade if I didn't know something as trivial as that!" she winked while shuffling through some notes. A minute later he had a piece of paper with names, locations, and a few notes on each.

"Uh…Mrs. Koller…I uh…thank you…I don't know how I can repay you…" he was dumbstruck. This woman, despite forcing him to follow her had given him more than he could have possibly hoped. His military file had seemed like a big find, but compared to these photos, these names, the small file was nothing. And she was just giving them to him!

"Are you kidding? You guys gave me enough stories to last a lifetime!" Irene just laughed him off, "You just make sure to get back to me on what you find out. An amnesiac soldier trying to remember his past? Ha! It's win-win I say!"

"Heh…if you say so." He had to laugh a bit at that. So she had an ulterior motive, considering what she was willing to give to him it was a small price. He would have minded talking for much longer, but he noticed the clock on the wall and realized that he was probably making Engel wait. Irene seemed to notice his shift in attention and glanced back herself.

"Have to go huh? Well I won't keep you." She grinned, "Don't worry about the photos, I've got plenty of copies."

"It's much more than I expected. Again thank you." Cezary said. The reporter simply chuckled to herself and waved goodbye as he headed out the door.

***

"Ah, I see you found out something?" Engel immediately noticed the folder and manila envelope under Cezary's arm when he arrived back at the truck, "Just as I said right? If you ask around something is bound to come up."

"Actually, it's more like someone found me." He replied, "So how about you? Another round done?"

Engel sighed, "Yes, another day of forms. I need to come back next month to finalize matters. But I'm interested in what you have been finding out."

"Well, I found out that I was a sniper with the Gallian militia." Cezary said, "Also I was a stuck-up coward from the start. Beyond that, I got a few leads on where to look next."

"That's excellent news!" Engel exclaimed, not bothered in the least by the younger's unflattering opinion of himself "So when will you be setting off?"

"Actually, tonight. I just came back to grab my things." Cezary had brought what he had been carrying when he had his accident, just in case he had to head off on his own today. He was glad he did so, "Randgriz has a train station, and it's just that I don't-"

"I understand, no need to apologize." Engel laughed and clapped him on the back, "Just remember that if you're ever in the mountains I hope to see you. Make sure to apply some ragnaid to your wound to help the bones mend, and more importantly try not to hit your head like that again!"

"Oh, you don't have to tell me that. I think I'll avoid climbing any trees for awhile." Cezary rolled his eyes as he slung his rifle and backpack over his shoulders, "Well, I guess I should be heading off."

"Ah wait!" the doctor motioned for him to hold out his hand and slipped a few ducat, "If I remember, train tickets cost money."

"This… I've already-"

"Doctor's orders!" Engel laughed and shook his hand vigorously, ""Good luck my friend! When you remember, come see me."

"I will, thank you. I guess this is goodbye…uh for now!" Cezary corrected himself. With a final wave goodbye he started for the station, hoping that there was a night train leaving the capital. He had come here without any idea as to who he was. Now he had leads, now he knew people who knew him.

And he was going to find them.

***

Author's Notes: Second chapter up as you might have guessed. It was a bit of a pain writing it actually. When I started this I knew roughly how the format would be, but as I was writing I found I had to insert breaks in scenes which seems to disrupt the flow of the chapter (though this would be one of the cases where I doubt you would want to read the details of what everything that happens in a few hours. Still bothers me a bit. The flashbacks were planned from the start. It's the case of 'show, don't tell', though I think others will probably be a bit of a combination). I suppose that's one of the reasons I write though; to try and improve.

Moving on to some other comments, I noticed a few of you were asking about Engel in the reviews. Truth be told I never intended for him to be a major character, though it was neat to see how many people liked him from what little that has been seen. Unfortunately however his role in this story is probably over, at least for the time being. I really don't want to just have him disappear though so he might be back later.

On some more technical notes I used more of an American than European system for the military ranks. This is partially because I'm working on joining the army right now and so I'm busy trying to memorize said ranks, and also because I think Gallia uses a more American ranking structure. This is mainly guesswork, but since Han's rank is supposed to be Private Third Class that implies that there's a Private First Class, which from what I've seen is used mainly by the US (most European countries and the US Marine Corps ranking goes from Private to Lance Corporal to Corporal with no Specialists). Granted this is a rank given to the squad's mascot, so it might not be an official thing, but it's what I have to work with. Plus, it just makes more sense to me to have Marina be ranked as a Specialist. She may be a great shooter, but not officer material. As to why Cezary made Corporal...well you'll just have to keep reading. ;)

With the flashback I added the bit of Cezary using a captured Imperial sniper rifle that as he found out wasn't as good as he thought. This is mainly because when reading the description for the ZM SG (Imperial Sniper Rifle) I saw that it had a bayonet fitting. The reenactor in me immediately thought of the Russian Mosin-Nagant 1891, which was a decent rifle, but a lot of the early models were zeroed with the bayonet fitted so that the sights were actually off when used without it attached. Nothing really important, just a little bit of my military history geek sneaking through.

Speaking of history geek when playing the game I noticed that trains weren't mentioned very often (I think only two missions involved them). The artbook maps have railroads in the legend, but they're not shown (nor are roads for that matter). The thing is railroads are vitally important to the process of industrialization, and being a modern country Gallia should have a pretty well developed rail network. Again, it's not really that important to the story, but I felt that it should be mentioned. Plus it makes Cezary getting around Gallia much easier.


	3. Chapter 3

The first rays of dawn crept up over the mountains, and with them brought Cezary out of a restless sleep. He had managed to catch the last train out of Randgriz, but at the cost of having nothing but a rather uncomfortable seat to sleep on. It didn't bother him too much; he didn't have much money to begin with, and a decent ticket would have been expensive. It was probably all for the better seeing as how the train looked to be approaching his stop.

"I hope you're right about this Koller." He said to himself as he looked over the notes she had left him:

**_O'Hara and Wulfstan seem to have disappeared to Southern Gallia. Not much to go by, but one of the ticket sellers at the station remembers them. They both bought tickets to Dokkum at separate times. If I had to guess they're somewhere in the Kloden wilderness; easy to get lost there. You might want to ask if any of the storeowners know them. A girl has to eat, and living off the land is harder than you think_**

**_O'Hara is probably the first one you'd want to find. Nice woman, loves the company of others. Plus she was your immediate superior. If anyone knows something about you it's her. She kept all of you close, and probably learned more about you than you think. It's funny, she was concerned about everyone, so much that she was afraid of running out of ammo in a fight and being helpless to give a hand. I wonder why she ran away like that? Find out if you can._**

**_Wulfstan, she'll be a bit tougher. She was always keeping to herself and didn't talk to the others very much. I wouldn't count on her being anywhere nearby. But if there's one thing I saw in her it's that she was observant, probably necessary for you snipers. She might not have ever talked to you, but I'm willing to bet she has a few insights. Just don't expect to find her right away. She grew up in the mountains so she's probably real familiar with the area and wants to be left alone. The girl is quite the hunter, and far more used to living off the land than anyone else in your old squad. _**

**_If you find either of them let them know I'm itching for a word!_**

It wasn't much to go by, and he was wishing that he had thought to try one of the brothers first. If her notes were anything to go by they were the easiest to find. Unfortunately he was stuck with his decision. The ticket had all but cost him all the money he had. He was going to have a hard time getting back to Randgriz as it was. On the other hand after stepping onto the platform he had to admit he liked the view.

This region of Gallia was home to the Kloden Wilderwood, a dense and impenetrable forest (though from what Engel told him it looked like there was a large path carved through the middle of it now). At the same time the region rested on the mountain range that ran along the southeastern border of Gallia and the Empire. The two made the urbanization a slow process. Of course the people tended to like the way things were, and with the war over the cities of Dokkum and Cambal were enjoying a renewed tourist industry. As such much of the land was preserved as it was.

"A great spot to get lost in…" the young man remarked while looking out to the mountains. It was a daunting task to say the least. Somewhere in them were two women that he had to find. If Irene was right he would probably be best off by picking a random direction and just trying his luck. It was a tempting thought, but also a poor one. He didn't even know if either was in this area. So he decided to take the reporter's advice and ask around.

All he found out that an hour later he was no closer to finding anything. The few shops that were open mostly sold equipment for the tourists, nothing that anyone living out in the mountains would want, and none of the shop owners recalled seeing either of them. It was beginning to get frustrating, and he found himself more and more thinking of trying to just look blindly again. Still, as the time dragged on more stores opened stores that might actually not be tourist traps. So he continued on.

After yet another round of blank stares and claims of ignorance he was suddenly struck with an idea. Stopping for a break he fished the notes out of his pocket and read over another page:

**_O'Hara is probably the first one you'd want to find. Nice woman, loves the company of others. Plus she was your immediate superior. If anyone knows something about you it's her. She kept all of you close, and probably learned more about you than you think. It's funny, she was concerned about everyone, so much that she was afraid of running out of ammo in a fight and being helpless to give a hand. I wonder why she ran away like that? Find out if you can_.**

He kicked himself for not remembering this fact earlier. Ammunition! Bullets! If she was out in the mountains she was probably armed, and despite being a sizable city Dokkum only had a few dedicated gun shops. They were probably his best bet, and he remembered seeing one earlier. With few other options available he decided to check it out.

It was a small shop, but apparently well used judging by the number of guns on display. The man behind the counter seemed busy at the moment so he took the time to simply browse. It was in doing so that something caught his eye. On one of the counters was a flare gun, unusual for around the area. When he took a closer look he saw the stamp, the seal of the Gallian National Arsenal. It wasn't the type of weapon that a sniper would regularly used, but it was possible that it was one that a NCO could have owned.

"Can I help you?" Cezary realized that someone was talking and that an older man behind the counter was eyeing him suspiciously, perhaps because he was holding the flare gun very closely.

"Oh, sorry." Cezary put it down, flustered, "I'm actually looking for someone, and was hoping you might know her…Eh…just one second." Seeing as how the man was still looking at him like he was about to bolt from the store with stolen goods any second it was an awkward moment as he pulled out the photo of the snipers on the tank.

"Have you seen either of these women?" he asked, pointing to the two in the picture. The man squinted for a moment before his face relaxed.

"Ah, you're a friend of Cathy's? Yeah I know her. She moved to here about two years ago. Traded in that flare gun over there for some cash. She stops by every few months to pick up some ammo. Nice woman, I take it you fought together in the war?"

"Yeah something like that." Cezary nodded absent-mindedly. He had another thing on his mind "Do you know where she lives?"

The man shook his head, "Afraid not, she keeps to herself in the mountains. Best I can guess is that she lives at least a day's walk from here, thirty or forty kilometers to the east. She lives alone, so probably at least on the other side of the mountains you can see from town. Most hunters stick to this side seeing as there are no roads leading out there." He leaned in, "and between you and me half the men coming through here don't know the first thing about hunting. She's still out there so she has to know how to bag some game."

"Oh…well is there any chance of her coming back any time soon?"

"Nope, she was just here last month, and she always gets a few boxes."

"Damn…well thanks anyway." Cezary said, putting the photo away. The shopkeeper nodded before walking over to the next customer. He left the shop a bit downtrodden. He had gotten some information, but not much. At least now he knew that Catherine was around the area. If she was as elusive as the man had said no one else would be able to give any more detailed information about her. Still, he decided to look around a bit more. He did eventually find a few more of her belongings, small items that were traded in for supplies, but everyone who knew anything about her just pointed to the mountains. The only information he had was that she was somewhere east of the city. His only option was to go out there, and find her.

Realizing that he was going to have to do this on his own he took a quick inventory after deciding to take another break. It wasn't much. He had packed lightly: a change of clothes, a poncho, a canteen, maybe one meal's worth of food, and a few reloads for his rifle.

Do I even have a chance? It was still morning so he had a chance of finding her if he moved now, but considering what he had to work with the odds were against him. It was spring so he wasn't concerned about the weather. Still, there was only so much daylight. He hated the fact that his plan relied on hoping that luck was on his side, but short of waiting for her to come back he didn't have much choice. Without money to spare he couldn't hire a guide, or even buy any good supplies. He was stuck with what he had on his back.

Cezary I hope you know what you're doing… he finally decided. It was a long shot, but at this point it was the only one he had.

Moving across the plains was easy. It was a warm day, and he had plenty of energy. The problems started when he reached the foothills. They had been deceptively far, and by the time he reached them it was already been midday. He could have turned back, but decided to press on. Every step took him further away from civilization, and he wasn't keeping track of time until he noticed the sun setting over the horizon. By then he was pretty sure he was lost. It was getting dark, and he was no closer to finding his old sergeant than before. To make things worse it was getting cold, and he was dressed lightly. He had also eaten the last of his food several hours ago, and his stomach was starting to complain. It was shaping up to be a long night.

"Stupid, really stupid of you Cezary." He said, not particularly caring about insulting himself aloud since no one else was around, "Okay, I probably shouldn't panic, that never helps things. Okay, do I know any survival…" he trailed off, realizing the stupidity of that statement. Even if he had known something about it before his fall it was a moot point. He had no idea where he was. In the ever-growing darkness all the trees looked the same. He had some matches, but all the wood was still wet from the spring thaw, and thus useless to start a fire. Eventually he was going to have to sleep. He hadn't gotten much on the train earlier that day, and he had been walking for awhile. He didn't want to stop, but he was exhausted.

"Okay…you need to stop…" he muttered, sitting down on a fallen log, "you need to sleep. I'm sure you'll survive until morning. I've gotten through worse right?" he paused, "…I need to stop talking to myself. I think I'm losing it…"

It was a shoddy job, consisting of his poncho laid on the ground at a spot he thought would be shielded from the wind. His backpack doubled as a crude pillow. His jacket was the best he could do for a blanket. All things considered it was a pathetic excuse for a bed, but it was all he had. Realizing he was not going to get much sleep Cezary lay down and tried his best to cover himself.

As he struggled to sleep over hunger pains and constant shivering he could only think of one thing. Ever since he had woken up he had several regrets. He regretted not being able to pay Dr. Engel, he regretted stepping into that army office, he regretted his decisions to not stay in the capital and maybe find out some more about his old squad. Most of all he regretted falling out of that tree to begin with. And now he could add another to the list; he regretted coming out to these mountains. It had been a gamble, and a poor one at that. Now he felt as though he were paying the penalty, and would be lucky to get back alive.

After what felt like an eternity sleep finally began to overtake him. He could only hope he would wake up in the morning.

***

_"It's your bet Cezary." He glanced up from his cards. There were two men there, both in Gallian uniforms; one short and rather stocky person with black bowl-cut hair, and another across from him. The neater, brown haired one peered at him over a pair of glasses with a look that might as well have been set in stone._

_Cezary looked down at his cards, a good hand if he remembered. He wanted to ask what was going on, but all he heard was his own voice saying, "I'm in for ten"_

_"Very well, I will see your bet, and raise you another ten." The bespectacled man replied. The third player seemed hesitant, looking nervously at his cards and at the other two._

_"Uh…I call, I guess." He said nearly inaudibly._

_"Tch, come on Kevin I think we both know what kind of hand you have. I call." Again he heard himself say. Was this during the war? Did he know these two? He saw himself pull out and light a cigarette before glancing down at his cards again. He tossed a pair down and took two new ones. Surprisingly his hand only got better, "I'll put in another ten."_

_"Again, I shall raise your bet twenty ducat." The one across from him stated._

_"I…uh…I fold…" the one named Kevin sighed and lay down his cards._

_"You have to try sticking it out one of these times." He said again, "So Knute anything good come through today? You know I've been wanting a new rifle. I call, and raise you ten."_

_"The next shipment for the militia isn't until next week. I suppose I could get you something from the army's inventory, for right price of course. I see your bet."_

_"Figures, always worried about profit huh?" he took a drag on his cigarette and eyed his opponent carefully._

_"One does not get rich by simply giving away his possessions." Knute corrected him, "And if I'm going to risk getting you a new rifle, I should be compensated. Don't you agree?"_

_"Cezary, you're…you're not thinking of taking a weapon…I-illegally are you?" Kevin stuttered._

_"Hey, whatever lets me kill Imps before they kill me is fine." He snorted. Cezary wanted to do something. This was important, but it was as though he was just watching from within his own body, "Mine got banged up during that last fight. Besides it's just the army; they won't miss one rifle right? And they can always make more. Okay Knute, let's see them."_

_The two laid down their cards simultaneously. Cezary groaned and threw his hands in the air, his full house had been beaten by a four of a kind, "Dammit, how can you always pull it off like that!"_

_"Because I don't take a risk if I'm not sure that I will win." Knute stated as he collected the pool of ducat._

_"Then what are you doing in the military?" Cezaery asked, snubbing out the cigarette, "Nevermind, I know, the profit…Speaking of which, I know I can't afford your price for a rifle. How about a scope?"_

_"I offer reasonable prices depending on the model." Knute finally smiled as he shuffled the deck_

_"C-Cezary…Knute you…you shouldn't be talking about that." Kevin stuttered._

_"What's the worst that could happen? Damon overhears us or something?" Cezary snorted, "Yeah like that fat bastard has a clean record. I'm sure any one of us could find dirt on him. Or maybe I'll get put in the stockades? If it gets me out of this war then it might be worth it. Besides, Knute wouldn't talk about it if there were any brass around. Sixth sense or something like that."_

_"That is a trade secret my friend." Knute said smiling mischeviously._

_"Sure, just deal-" the three of them shot up as a loud crash was heard from the far end of the barracks. He whirled around just in time to be hit with a blinding light._

***

Cezary was suddenly back in the mountain forest. It was morning or as close to it as he could figure. A fog had rolled in while he was asleep so he could barely see ten feet away. He ached all over, he was already shivering, he was hungry and thirsty, and he would have preferred to stay asleep for awhile longer. But it was no use trying, he knew he wouldn't be sleeping any time soon. He had to get up and move before he froze.

It wasn't going to be a good day. He tried collecting some wood and start a fire again, no such luck. It was still too wet. He was going to have to do without. He had resigned himself to nothing going his way by then so it wasn't too disappointing.

The fog made it harder to navigate, and even when it lifted he realized that everything looked even more foreign. To say that he was lost would have been an understatement. Throughout the morning it was all he could do to stumble around blindly, stopping every few minutes to try and warm himself up. The day wasn't as pleasant as the last, and his clothing had gotten a bit moist so all he did was make himself even colder. Any attempts to start a fire were futile. He knew the best he could do for himself was to keep moving.

"Real smart of you!" He stuttered, the cold was starting to get to him he realized. It was getting worse. He had to find her soon, "Coming out here with no idea where you were going. A compass, just a simple compass would have done something! If I ever make it back…If…right…yeah…"

Even with his body protesting he continued on. Everything looked the same though. The only thing he could count on was that going up the slope took him further up the mountain and vice versa. Whether or not he was on the right side was beyond him. For all he knew he had walked even further into the mountain range and was just getting even more lost. There wasn't anyone around for miles. He was alone with no way out.

His attempts at hunting didn't fare any better. He was stomping around so loudly that he scared away any potential prey, and he was shivering too much to get a good shot off on any thing he could see. The only solace was that he was making noise. Maybe, just maybe someone would hear him. And if they did hopefully it would be someone he was looking for.

After wasting precious time trying to get food his body wasn't listening to him, he had to stop to catch his breath after only a few minutes of walking, and even then it took another few to get back up. By noon he was sitting on a hillside wrapped in his poncho trying to figure out what to do next. Finding Catherine seemed impossible at this point. Irene had said she disappeared, and she had meant it. That wasn't entirely true, if someone had actually prepared for walking in the mountains they could probably find her. That had been his undoing from the start: no plan, no idea of what was ahead of him, just blind hope.

"Okay….I can get out of this…" he muttered, trying to just keep himself going "I just need some energy. If I rest for a bit I should be okay…Then what? Then I find water…Then…I really need to get some sleep…"

Part of his mind told him that was a bad idea, but the ground looked so inviting. A few minutes of rest wouldn't hurt. If he just napped for a bit, then he'd have the energy to figure out what to do next. It made perfect sense.

It didn't take long to fall asleep this time.

***

_"Hey Cezary, you okay?" he found himself looking up again. There were three other people across the table playing a card game: a girl who looked too young to possibly be in the army, a large curly haired man opposite of her staring intently into his cards, and another boy. Wait he had seen him before. That's right it was one of the ones from the photo. The cross-shaped scar gave it away. It was Oscar Bielert, one of the snipers or was it Emile? He couldn't remember, "Cezary? Come on, you've been quiet since we got back. What's wrong?"_

_"…Nothing…" he heard himself say, without any of the energy as before when he was with Kevin and Knute. His hands were slowly placing the firing pin back into a bolt, "Just tired…"_

_"Yeah, but all you've been doing is working on your rifle for the last hour." Oscar said, "You've never been like that before. I'd expect that from Marina, not you!"_

_"Just worried…" again he was surprised at how deadpan he sounded. The large man seemed to agree with him though._

_"It will be tough battle." He nodded, "But we get through, like we did before! We always win, why not this time?"_

_He looked up from his rifle. The man was sitting confidently with a proud smile on his face like he had just said the most profound thing in his life._

_"Because charging into Imp machine guns kills you Hannes…" he replied flatly, "Bullets don't care who you are…" he buried his face in his hands and seemed to try to rub out the exhaustion he was feeling from focusing on his rifle so much._

_It was when he looked that he noticed they were all looking past him. He wanted to ask what was going on, but he remained silent._

_"Cezary?" a woman's voice. He looked down at the table, as though he hadn't heard her._

_"Cezary?" funny, it seemed almost like a different voice this time. He finally turned around._

***

"Cezary!" he was awake. The first thing he realized was that he didn't feel as cold, though that might have been because he had a hard time feeling his limbs. Then it finally hit him that someone was shaking him, "Cezary wake up!"

He managed to work his eyes open and was met with a face he had seen before. Of course then she looked much happier rather than the mixture of fear and horror that he was seeing now. It was funny he had spent all this time trying to find Catherine and now here she was and he had no idea what to do.

"Cezary? You're awake? What are you doing out here? Oh this isn't good. Cezary? You have to keep-" it must have come as a shock to her when he suddenly started giggling, enough that it stopped her mid sentence like that, "Cezary? What's wrong?"

"Heh heh heh…" he sniggered like a mad man. It was ironic, he had spent all this time trying to track her down, and in the end she had found him. It would have been funnier had he not been so sure that he was about to die, "f…f-found…you…" he finally managed to get out. It was the last thing he remembered before everything went black.

***

Author's Notes: Admittedly the chapter feels off to me. When I was writing it I realized that finding Catherine would probably take a full chapter in itself. Considering that she wants to isolate herself it'd just feel odd to have him find her no problem. Of course at the same time writing about him stumbling blindly through a mountain forest while succumbing to hypothermia seemed off in itself. So I figured why not use the time for a fever-dream to introduce some other characters he might meet. After all, while the snipers play an important role in this story and were certainly the original idea of it we know that Cezary had other aquaintances in Squad 7. He was friends with Kevin and Knute for instance. So it seemed like if I was going to have hm recall some memories it might be good to put in those two.


	4. Chapter 4

Cezary didn't find it strange at all when he woke up in someone else's bed. His lack of issue with that fact didn't surprise him. He figured that was because it had already happened to him before. Last time he had woken up in a blind panic. Of course last time he had just woken up from a month long coma with no memory of where, or more importantly who he was. In that sense he was rather pleased that he remembered his name this time around, and that he remembered everything up until the first time he had woken up.

_So what was I doing…Oh right I was trying to find Sergeant O'Hara…No, she found me…_ his mind was slowly getting itself back together as he forced himself to sit up. He remembered, and particularly recalled the series of poor choices that had nearly led to him dying in the mountains. He realized how lucky he had been that she had been nearby, luckier than he had been when that reporter had found him. If there was a higher power it was certainly strong evidence that he was a benevolent one.

_Okay, okay you made some dumb choices, worry about that later. Is everything all right? _He lifted the fur blanket covering his body, suddenly realizing that he had been stripped down to his underwear. A hurried glance around the cabin's single room showed him the rest of his clothing hanging over a small wood stove. That answered he went back to the task at hand. His legs were fine, his feet worked well, and toes weren't amputated. His arms still worked, and while he had a slight headache he was otherwise intact.

_I'm fine, that's good…_ with his health not in question he finally took a more detailed look around the cabin. It was a small place, maybe twenty feet to a side if that. The wood stove on the far wall was the only source of heat, and currently had a large pot on top of it. Various cooking supplies were hung off of nails on a nearby wall over a small table. A pair of rifles rested on the wall by the door. Craning his head he saw that she had built a loft nearby to hold any excess supplies. His backpack was sitting next to the bed. He was also drawn towards the canteen and mug filled with water sitting next to the bed. Seeing that he realized that he was rather thirsty, and hungry for that matter, made worse by the fact that he smelled something cooking. For now though he could at least satisfy the first need.

_Small place, but comfortable if there's only one person living here. _He continued to think over the situation as he gulped down his first drink in days, _Weird, I thought that Koller woman said she liked being around people. Seems funny that she'd come out here by herself. So…what? Did she piss off someone? Then again that's not important. I wonder where-_

Cezary's thought was answered for him when the door opened and Catherine walked in carrying a load of firewood in her arms. She immediately looked over to the bed and saw him staring back at her. As though she had expected it all along she simply smiled and said "Oh good, you're awake."

He wasn't sure how to reply. If she was expecting one she didn't appeared to be bothered by his lack of response. Instead she dropped off the wood by the stove and walked over to the bed. Still wordlessly she sat down and placed her hand on his forehead, seemingly without a care for the fact that his face was turning a slight shade of red.

"You don't have a fever anymore, that's good. How are you feeling?" he was feeling rather naked at the moment. His mind hadn't quite registered that she was the one who probably stripped him down in the first place. As it was he was feeling uncomfortable more than anything.

"Uh…I'm…fine, just fine." He sputtered, managing to remove her hand from his face. When Catherine burst out laughing a few seconds later it only served to make him more flustered.

"Goodness Cezary since when did you become so bashful?" she finally managed to say once she had appeared to calm down a little, "You must have hit your head harder than I thought."

"Wait how did you…" he was about to ask when he realized that she had probably changed his bandages while he was unconscious, "Oh…right…So how long was I out?"

"You've been asleep since yesterday morning." She sighed, "I was afraid you might not make it. You were in pretty bad shape when I found you."

"Oh…uh…sorry…" it was all he could think to say.

"Really Cezary, coming out here with no supplies like that. You have no food, no water, and you were probably going to freeze to death if I didn't find you." She went on. Cezary didn't remember his mother, but he was pretty sure that this is what it felt like to be guilted by one, "You really had me scared. What in the world possessed you to come out here?"

"…Sorry." He said again. All things considered he had probably scared her, and even he knew that it had been a bad idea to try and track her down, and yet he still did it, "It's just…well you see…" he kept cutting himself short, find that he wasn't sure exactly how to explain his situation. Thankfully it seemed that his lame attempts at apologizing actually had some effect as she just smiled warmly and shook her head.

"No, I shouldn't be going on about that right now; you just woke up. You must be starving. Do you want something to eat?" She got up and headed over to the pot on top of the stove, chiding herself about being a bad hostess.

"Er…yeah." It didn't look like he had a choice in the matter, but he _was_ hungry. Still he was here to ask her about his past, "The thing is Serg-…Miss…er-"

"Cathy is fine, you know I never needed any formalities." Catherine corrected him as she handed a bowl of stew, "Now eat. We can talk after you're done."

He couldn't disagree. It was a fairly simple stew, but hunger was the best spice. For the first time in days he finally felt a little bit of relief. His head was a bit clearer, his stomach with something in it, and finally someone to talk to. Of course there was still one concern.

"Uh…could you…" his eyes flicked momentarily down to his backpack. Catherine seemed to realize what he was referring to and just laughed again.

"Cezary this modesty of yours is almost frightening." Was all she said before returning back to the stove, her back thankfully turned. He took the time to get dressed so he wouldn't feel so awkward around her. It was also nice to just be out of bed, and he took the time to sit down at the table.

"Feeling better?" she asked while setting down a pair of mugs.

"Very, thank you." He accepted the cup of tea offered to him, "Actually, you were right."

"About what?"

"About me hitting my head harder than you thought." He sighed, having the strangest feeling that he was going to have to explain this a lot. Catherine seemed to suddenly focus on the bandages on his head, the same reaction the reporter had, except she remained quiet, allowing him to continue, "The truth is that I don't remember anything. I fell from a tree a few months ago. I hit my head…and well, up until a few days ago I didn't know anything about myself other than my name. I met someone in Randgriz, a reporter, a Miss Koller. She said she was with the unit during the war. She gave me an idea as to where you were…So I thought I would try and track you down. Didn't work out as well as I thought, but hey here we are."

"…Cezary…" Catherine trailed off, sipping her tea slowly as though she were trying to come up with something to say, ""…I'm so sorry. I didn't know."

"It's okay, I'm just trying to figure out who I was. I was hoping you might be able to help, seeing as you were one of my superiors. I figured you'd know me pretty well."

"…Well yes, I tried to get to know everyone…" she put down her cup, again appearing to try and gather her thoughts, "I suppose that helps to explain why you would come all the way out here, but is it worth your life to find out?"

"Well, no…actually that was just a bad idea. I should have just prepared better. I guess I was a bit to overeager though." Cezary admitted, "I mean what good is remembering my past going to be if I die?"

"I see, well at least you're not suicidal about it. I'm amazed that you're…as calm as you are."

"It helped that I was taken care of by the right person." Catherine looked confused, "Dr. Paul Engel. I don't think you'd know him, or anyone in the squad would. He was a doctor for the Imperial army back during the war. He moved to Gallia afterwards. He was the one who figured out I was in the military, and gave me a ride of Randgriz…and the money for the train ticket down here. He's a nice man. I'm glad to have met him, though I wish it was under better circumstances."

"Hm…how times change…Back then I don't think we would have ever spoken so highly of them…or them about us…" Catherine said, sounding more like she was thinking aloud, "…So what is it that you wanted to know?"

"Anything. What kind of person was I?"

"…That depends…" she seemed hesitant, "You were…well, difficult at times."

"Look Miss-…Cathy I know a bit about myself." Cezary sighed. This was sounding like he was just as unpleasant as he had originally thought, "I know I was pretty self-centered, but there had to have been more to me than that…right?"

"…Well yes, but…you're right, you were self-centered…Oh this is hard to explain…" Catherine paused to sip her tea.

"Then just start from the beginning. I don't care how bad it is."

"…If that's what you want." She set the cup down and seemed to stare into it, "I hate to admit it, but you were the biggest problem to start. Back then things were hectic enough as it was. The militia was being mobilized quickly, but it was a sloppy process. With the Imperial army so close to Randgriz things were in turmoil. I was lucky that I only had Marina, Oscar, and you to worry about. Unfortunately I had only gotten the chance to greet the three of you only briefly before being called off. It wasn't until we were given orders to retake the West Bank of Vasel that I actually got a chance to talk to you." She frowned, "It wasn't the best of first impressions."

***

_Catherine was furious. Things had finally started to calm down, the newly conscripted militia had finally started to organize itself, and people had started to settle into their roles. And just when they had been given their first deployment orders Lieutenant Gunther had informed her that one of her snipers had started a fight. She had almost immediately guessed who was the culprit. She hadn't known the three under her command for very long, but she still knew. Oscar was too timid; Marina might get into a fight, but would never be the one to start it. That narrowed it down to one._

_She checked her sidearm with the MP on duty, and was led into the holding cells. Sure enough, there he was reclining on the bed holding an ice pack to his swollen cheek. There was a certain grim satisfaction in that, his opponent had gotten away pretty much unscathed. That he had started it, and got hurt and punished for his actions seemed appropriate. Even so, she still had to deal with the situation. There was a war going on, and the last thing they needed was for the squad to be fighting amongst itself._

_He seemed to deliberately take his time noticing that she was there, speaking only looking up after the guard had gone back to his post. "Ah, corporal…nice of you to drop by."_

"_Private Cezary Regard is it? Would you care to explain why you thought it was a good idea to get into a fist fight with on of your comrades?" she asked, not bothering to reply to his remark._

"_Ah that…" he rolled his eyes and smirked, "Easy, I told the damn dark-hair not to touch my rifle. He should've listened."_

"_Private Wavy had been working with the quartermaster to organize our equipment. You had no right to impede him from doing his job private." Catherine had only been talking to him for a few seconds, and she already didn't like his attitude._

"_Sure, the last thing I need is one of them smearing their grease all over my scope. I know how to maintain my rifle, corporal." His voice dripping with sarcasm, "You don't want me getting into a fight with him again. Then tell him to leave my stuff alone. Who the hell let Darcsens into the squad anyhow?"_

"_That is none of your concern." She ignored his barb, "The Darcsens are just as much a part of the Gallian military as you or I. You are not to get into fights over such trivial matters."_

"_So what's it to you?" Cezary asked. Considering how he kept an even gaze with her, it was easy to tell that she wasn't reaching him, "Come to think of it…I've been wondering about that... You don't like me fighting dark-hairs, and you have a bit of unusually dark hair yourself. Something you're hiding? Maybe you took a last name to get away from it all. What's wrong? Don't like your people anymore than me?"_

_Now Catherine knew that he was just trying to get a reaction from her. It wasn't going to work; she had faced worse accusations back during the first war. She had fought with Darcsens, and knew just exactly how big of traitors they were, that being not at all. She had dealt with people far more arrogant than the young man sitting before her. If he thought his little insults were going to get to her he was in for a surprise. She was half-tempted to let him trip himself up some more, but thought better. She didn't have time for this._

_  
"So what if I am?" she asked, clearly catching him by surprise, "Even if I was a Darcsen, I am still your immediate superior, private, and as your immediate superior I am telling you right now that your prejudice is not a defense against fighting your comrades. I will not stand for it, and you will keep yourself under control. Do I make myself clear?"_

"_Or else what? You'll lock me down here for the war? Fine by me." And that was his mistake. Catherine had seen men like him before, men who would do anything short of shooting themselves in the foot to get out of combat. He was one of those people. That was fine, she knew how to deal with that._

"_So long as you are a sniper you will control yourself." She said calmly, "If I find out that you have gotten into another fight…well I know Corporal Stark was complaining about needing a few more men…" that got him, she could see a brief moment of panic in his eyes, "Cross me again and I'll take your rifle and shove you in her direction. Do I make myself clear?"_

"_Tch…yes ma'am…" Cezary wasn't stupid, he knew not to press the matter any further. He slumped down, obviously angry at his current situation._

"_Good, now get some rest. Our first operation is tomorrow." She couldn't help but leave a little barb of her own. She knew he had hoped that he would be detained until after the battle. She wasn't going to have it. He wasn't getting out that easily. She saw him flinch at the realization, but didn't say anything. At least he knew when to shut up._

_Catherine let the guard know that she was finished and allowed herself to be escorted out. When she was out of the cells she looked around in the off chance that he had somehow followed her. When she knew she was clear she leaned against the wall and let out a slow and tired sigh. She hated having to be stern like that. She didn't like pulling rank either, but Cezary was the type of person that she needed to deal with now, or else he would end up costing someone their life. She didn't need that on her conscience. After gathering herself she set off for the barracks. One troublesome sniper aside she still had a job to do._

***

"So I take it that you didn't like hearing that." Cezary was pretty sure that she meant that in jest. That was probably because halfway through the story he had already buried his head in his hands and was debating whether or not bashing his head into the table was a good idea.

"…I was that bad?" was all he could think to say. Thus far anything he heard about himself just made him glad that he had forgotten everything. He was a complete bastard by the sound of it.

"I'm afraid so. You didn't hide the fact that you hated the Darcsens, nor that you didn't want to be there." Catherine said, sipping her tea, "I never understood the hatred for the Darcsens. People always blamed them for the Calamity, but that was over a thousand years ago. One isn't responsible for the sins of their fathers right?"

"Yeah…I guess." Cezary muttered, still trying to grasp the fact that he hadn't been the nicest of people, "I was that bad huh?"

"…You're having trouble with this aren't you?" he nodded at the question, still not looking up, "I can stop any time you want. You don't have to hear this Cezary."

"No…No I need to…" he sighed. He was past the threshold as it was. If he was a bastard he might as well hear it all. Besides, she didn't seem to begrudge him for his past actions, "I came up here to find out who I was, might as well keep going. So I was a complete asshole?"

Catherine seemed hesitant to continue, but she relented, "You were a difficult one…But you seemed to have been scared straight. During the battle for West Vasel you did your job. You were a good shot, and great at spotting hidden enemies. I thought I didn't have to worry much. You did what was asked, and you didn't get into any more fights. You may have avoided any of the Darcsens in the squad, but it was an improvement over your attitude before. Unfortunately we didn't talk much afterwards. I think you were still a bit bitter over my threat."

"Sounds like me…" it was true, from he had heard about himself it did sound like he'd hold a grudge over something like that, "I mean really what next? Did I shoot anyone in the back?"

"No!" she almost sounded shocked that he would even suggest that, "Look, Cezary you weren't…you weren't a monster."

"Could've fooled me."

"No…yes you were difficult to get along with, and yes you…" she trailed off, there was something she didn't want to say.

"Just tell me." Cezary said flatly.

"…You didn't shoot anyone on our side if that's what you think…" Catherine said, still obviously uncomfortable, "But…you did…you did the next worse thing."

"It was the next day. We had just made a foothold on the Vasel's east bank…" she continued before he could say anything, "I had you deployed with Oscar a little ahead of Marina and myself. I didn't notice anything during the battle…But a few weeks later before we were set to attack an Imperial supply depot in Kloden Marina told me that she had seen something back during the fight. She had saw that you spotted a sniper, but didn't take the shot. She said that the sniper was aiming at Nadine, one of our Darcsen engineers. She killed the sniper…but you were ready to allow one of us to be killed. I asked Oscar about it as well. He said that you had tried to order him not to give the Darcsens any cover…You failed in your duty. I decided that you were not fit to be a soldier of Gallia. After the operation I was going to have you arrested and court-martialed, and I didn't care what you thought about it."

"…So what happened?" Cezary muttered, his head once again buried in his hands.

"Kloden happened…" Catherine answered, her eyes once again drifting off into space.

***

_The Kloden Wilderwood, the forest supposedly impenetrable by man or beast; the thick woods had made navigation nearly impossible. I it hadn't been for Welkin's knowledge of the area they might have never found the road leading to the supply base. Even knowing where their enemy was Catherine was having a hard time picking out targets in the foliage. The brush and trees provided excellent cover on top of the defenses the Imperials had erected. Judging from the curses coming from Cezary she knew she wasn't the only one having trouble. In addition to that they had to constantly shift position in order to get clear shots. The squad was advancing though, albeit slowly._

_"When are they just going to give up?" Catherine regarded her partner out of the corner of her eye. Cezary, she had been worried that he had found out about his actions at Vasel. As far as she was concerned this was his last battle. She remembered her threat to him, but after learning that he would be willing to let his comrades die she didn't want him near anyone else in the squad. It didn't matter if he would be happy at being pulled out of the war, he was too much of a threat to his own side to be allowed to stay. She felt a little sorry for him. He was a good shot; with a better attitude and some experience he could very well have been an excellent soldier. As it was though the only thing he was getting was a court-martial after this._

_"Hopefully soon, but we'll continue to fight so long as that base is out there." She had to admit he had a point. With the length the battle she was worried about how much longer her ammo would hold out. It didn't help that she had more missed shots than normal thanks to the trees. Cezary seemed to have ignored her as his rifle cracked and he muttered 'Got one…'_

_Catherine took the moment to get back into focus and sighted down her scope. Sweeping over the field she spotted an Imperial sniper hiding behind a tree. That wouldn't do; she marked his position. As he was still hiding she took a moment to glance at where he was aiming. Judging from the angle of his head she angled downwards and settled on Wavy. It made sense, Imperials tended to aim for Darcscens when they saw them. Settling back on the sniper she waited for him to uncover himself. He did so a moment later, coming out in a crouch, his rifle pointing right where she thought it might._

_"Goodbye…" she muttered as she squeezed the trigger. But then the sniper ducked. He might have seen light reflecting off her scope, or he might have heard the report, but either way he ducked back behind cover. Even so her bullet almost got him, deflecting off his steel helmet._

_"Clever one aren't you?" she chided herself as she cycled the bolt. She waited for him. He was moving to new cover, behind a fallen log, but he wasn't ducked low enough. An easy shot; she fired, and only heard an ominous click._

_Oh no! She opened the bolt. That had been her last round. Cursing to herself she started going through her ammo pouches: empty, empty, empty! She swore that she had some ammo left, but every time she came up with nothing. The rifle's click echoed in her head, the same click that had sounded over twenty years ago. It was another time, and another war, but the same event was playing out again. She tensed up, looking down the scope, hoping that the sniper was staying under cover. No such luck he was already looking to find his target. She had no ammo, she couldn't do anything, No, not again…There has to be something I can…_

_Her eyes came to rest on her partner. Cezary had just finished topping off his magazine and was looking for a target, "Cezary! There's a sniper behind that fallen tree! Six hundred meters ahead! He's on the hill in front of the Edelweiss! Get him!"_

_Cezary glanced over at her, unsure of her sudden order but looked down his sights anyway. She saw him shift momentarily, and then frown. He had seen the intended target of that sniper._

_"Cezary…please, don't let him die!" he momentarily looked at her, obviously surprised at her sudden panic attack, "Please…." She pleaded, her mind already resigning itself to what was about to happen. It was just like before; she had the target, she knew she could make the shot, but she had no ammo. Even if it would technically be Cezary's fault Wavy's blood would still be on her hands, just like before._

_"Oh no…please no…" her mind was racing. Part of her was telling her to calm down. Even considering the circumstances she couldn't let her partner see her panic like this. But that was a small voice. She just kept going over what was about to happen. She kept seeing faces of friends decades gone. Their moans, their cries for help as she lay in a shell hole frantically searching for another round. She knew that she had to prevent it. Even if she had to threaten his life she would have to get Cezary's rifle and take the shot._

_Her had was just about to snatch her pistol when she heard the report. Even though there was still gun fire going off up ahead everything seemed quiet save the echo of that one shot. She could hear the distinct clacking of the bolt opening, and the ping of the ejected shell. Trying to calm her nerves Catherine risked looking down her scope. The sniper lay over the log, with blood seeping through the back of his uniform. Her mind tried to get a hold of itself as she forced herself to calm down. Everything was okay, she had to stay professional. She almost didn't notice Cezary tossing an ammo pouch down beside her._

_"Cezary…I" she said in nearly a whisper as she opened it, the pouch was full of ammo. Apparently he had been a bit more conservative with his shooting. She didn't know what to say. He had seen her at her worst. She had always tried to be calm and collected, especially around him, the one who kept trying to make her upset, and he had just seen what made her tick._

_"Don't worry about it." His words snapped her back to reality. Cezary was standing, having noticed the rest of the squad had breached the last defensive line, and was moving on the base proper, "Everyone screws up eventually. I won't tell anyone."_

_"…We should move." Catherine said, finally managing to acknowledge him. Cezary just nodded and started off after the rest of them. She breathed a sigh of relief, and followed suit._

***

"I don't know how, but something changed in you Cezary. I know you didn't want to help Wavy. You two had been at odds…no, you hated him ever since the squad was formed, but you took that shot. You saved him…" Catherine slowly put down her cup. She looked like the experience still weighed heavily on her, "I knew that you still had a shred of humanity in you. I couldn't kick you out just yet…"

"So…what changed?" he had to know. It was quite frankly the first time he had heard of himself doing something that wasn't despicable.

"I saw it in your eyes then…" Catherine said, finally looking back up at him, "It was the first time I saw a little bit of humility in you. Something happened before Kloden that changed you ever so slightly, enough for me to know that you wouldn't pull anything like what happened at Vasel again."

"…So what happened?"

"I don't know, I've always wondered though…" Catherine seemed to drift off again before smiling, "I suppose I'll never find out though. Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to remind-"

"No it's fine." Cezary had to chuckle a bit at that, "Believe me if I remember anything you'll be the first to know. So…how exactly did I fare afterwards?"

"Well, there was…" his host looked outside one of the windows, and seemed to notice how dark it was, "…I'm sorry, but it's getting late. I hope you don't mind if I stop there for the night."

"No, no that's quite all right." He agreed. It was getting late, and there was plenty of time to find out more about himself later.

"That's good to know…Well I'd hate to be a bad hostess so you can have the bed tonight-"

"No I've slept on it plenty. I'd just feel bad if I made you sleep on the floor." Cezary insisted, "Just give me a blanket and I'll make due."

"Are you sure…" Catherine started laughing herself, "Oh Cezary It's still strange seeing you like this. Okay, if you're going to insist then I have a spare bedroll in the loft."

Thankfully she didn't seem to be to worried about his health anymore so a little bit later he found himself relaxing underneath deerskin blanket and staring into the darkness. He wasn't sure what to think of himself now. He had apparently hated Darcsens, and he had been a troublemaker. Then again, he had also changed just a little bit. Maybe he got better as time went on, or was he like he had assumed, just an unfriendly bastard of squad seven.

He didn't want to dwell on such things. He couldn't just make assumptions of himself before he had heard his story. Still, as he drifted off to sleep it still bugged him. He had only just scratched the surface of his identity.

***

Author's Notes: And now we finally get to Catherine. She was one of my favorite characters, I mean who wouldn't want a plucky Irish sniper in their squad? Her ending was another one that I didn't really like. Maybe I might have written a fic about her, but after reading Huhn's 'A Life too Many' I think someone else already covered that really well. As an aside: Thank you Huhn! Thank you for making an ending that Catherine deserves! *ahem* So it's nice to actually bring her in. When writing the first flashback I actually had to think it over just a little since she's more known for being friendly to others. Making her much more of a stern person seemed odd, but ultimately I think it was a bit more appropriate. The comment Cezary made about her possibly being a Darcsen is a bit of my own reaction to her. I thought she was one until I realized 'oh wait O'Hara is a last name, guess not'.

As some of you might have guessed I'm also basing this somewhat off the manga as well as the game. Yes, he was about to let a sniper kill Nadine. Unfortunately that first volume is all that's been translated to English, but thanks to the power of tvtropes I saw that the manga author seems to agree in that Cezary is a person just as much as anyone else, and might have realized his mistake. But volume one is probably the most of the manga that I'll be basing the fic off of. It's all game from here baby!


	5. Chapter 5

Having come close to death Cezary had developed a new appreciation for the simple act of waking up under a blanket in a warm room. Things weren't perfect by any means; a bed would have been even better, but he wasn't about to force the cabin's owner to sleep on her own floor. She had taken him in, cared for, and fed him. He had no desire to make any further demands on her. So things weren't perfect, but waking up with the knowledge that one was warm and safe did wonders to improve his outlook on the day.

Despite that comfort, he realized that the meal he had eaten yesterday had finally worked its way through his system overnight. The human body had needs so he unfortunately had to abandon his bed. He didn't mind; if that was going to be the worst part of the day then he figured himself a lucky man. So with a bit of reluctance he coaxed himself up. Noting that Catherine still appeared to be asleep he quietly made his way down the ladder and outside.

It was a chilly morning, but that was to be expected. In fact if served nicely to wake him up as he did his morning business. Yes, it was cold, and yes he was still dressed lightly for the weather, but there was a warm cabin right there. And then there was Catherine, she was a nice woman to say the least, and Cezary was not ignorant to the fact that she had done a lot for him, including bringing him back from the brink of death.

_Come to think of it, I really haven't been pulling my weight…_ he thought back to his time with Dr. Engel. True, he hadn't done much either then, but when he had finally gotten his strength back he had been more than willing to help around the doctor's home. Right now he was bit hungry, but otherwise okay. There was no reason to not to make himself useful, and he already had an idea.

Firewood, it was a simple necessity for someone not living in a city. Catherine had plenty of logs stacked nearby that still needed chopped. So after helping himself to the axe lying nearby he began his work. He liked it; not only was he at least partially paying back Catherine for her hospitality, the work also gave him time to think. He had been doing that a lot lately. Little by little he was learning about the person he once was. With all he had learned he wasn't sure what to think. By all accounts he had been a jerk to say the least. He was so averse to fighting that he had tried to land himself in jail to avoid battle. He was rude, selfish, and apparently a Darcsen hater. Yet while he had been willing to let a squad member get shot, he had helped another later, and a person he had gotten into a fight with at that. What had happened between then? Had he known about Marina reporting him in? Did he realize his error? Had someone else said something? If anything he had become more of an enigma than before.

"It's nice to see you up and at it so early!" his thoughts were interrupted by his host. He realized that he had probably been going at it for awhile judging from the pile of split wood nearby. Catherine circled around to an uncut log and sat down, a cup of tea in hand, "By all means continue. I'm not complaining about more firewood."

"Sorry, just felt a bit useless." Cezary shrugged, setting another log down to be split, "Thought I could do something to repay you."

"Well I certainly appreciate it." She smiled, "Though I'm surprised that you're so active. You must be hungry."

"A bit, but this isn't the first time I've been hurt. I wasn't even out for two days this time around."

She chuckled at the joke, "At least you've kept a sense of humor. Of course if you're willing to work there's a few things I could use an extra hand with around here."

"Just name it, I'd by happy to help." He grinned, which in retrospect was probably offset by the loud groan emitting from his stomach a second later. It only served to further amuse Catherine.

"How about you try eating some breakfast first." She giggled, "Otherwise you're going to end up in bed again."

Cezary was quickly finding out that meals were very simple in his hostess's cabin, but like before he was not complaining. So long as it didn't make him ill, any food was good. Plus, when he thought about it, he realized it was probably because it was only just the beginning of spring. Most likely they were going through what she had saved up before winter. The thought of it only served to make him feel guiltier, though she simply waved him off when he brought it up. Nothing was a problem to this woman apparently.

After breakfast he got to work. There was a surprising amount of small things that needed done around the place. By midday he had among other things helped patch up a chimney, reapply some patches to the walls, and collect water from a nearby stream. Oddly though Catherine only kept their conversation to small talk, nothing like she had laid out the previous night. It bothered him a bit, if only because it might mean that she was keeping something from him, but at the same time he wasn't about to press her, maybe after the chores were done.

"Say, I'm rather curious." She commented as he was pouring out the last bucket into a storage barrel, "would you like to go hunting Cezary?"

"Uh…I suppose though I'm not that great a shot." He was a bit taken aback by the suggestion, "I was trying to do it out on the mountain…and…well…you know what happened."

"Of course you didn't get anything. Even before you didn't know much about hunting." She said, "You probably just scared away anything you found by being too loud. I can help you get a good shot off. Besides, you were worried about wasting my food so now is a good time to get some for me."

"Are you sure?" he asked, knowing that it was probably futile. She wanted him hunting for some reason, "I don't know how well I'll do."

"Actually I'm a bit curious." She picked up his rifle leaning on the wall nearby, "You were a great shot. I'm wondering if you can do as well as you did before."

"Me? I guess I was good. I had a few awards, but…was I that good?"

"Cezary, do you know what kind of rifle this is?" she asked. He remembered what Engel's son had said.

"A GSR model thirty?" he asked, his unsure voice indicating that it was a best guess.

"Not quite, it's a model 30R." Catherine corrected him with a smile as she handed it to him, like a schoolteacher to a pupil, "There's a slight difference. Any model with an R attached to it was a Royal Arms weapon, used almost exclusively by the Gallian Royal Guard. These rifles were given to squads for exceptional achievements by Princess Cordellia herself." She chuckled, seeming to try and remember something, "'For exceptional performance in neutralizing enemy snipers in order to protect our fellow soldiers', I believe that's what Welkin said when he awarded it to you."

"I didn't know…" Cezary looked over the gun himself.

"You were the best counter-sniper we had. Sometimes I still wonder how you managed to find them." She quickly snapped back into reality, "Anyway, yes you were a great shot Cezary. I think at times you had a bit of a rivalry with Marina. I just want to see how well you still shoot. Memories or not there are certain things the body doesn't forget."

He couldn't try to talk her down, she was set on it. With a bit of a resigned sigh he followed her out into the woods. She taught him the basics, apparently he had been doing everything wrong. It was spring so the animals were coming out of hibernation. So they were around, but he didn't know how to stalk them. She gave a few pointers that seemed obvious in retrospect: track upwind so they can't smell you, avoid stepping on fallen branches, find a spot where they're likely to feed. Considering all the noise he had been making before it was no wonder he couldn't shoot anything. It didn't take long for them to find a deer at a watering hole. Catherine simply gave him a reassuring pat on the shoulder and told him to take the shot.

She had been right about muscle memory. No sooner than he had crouched down did he start to relax. He shifted the rifle to what felt like a comfortable position. His cheek rested just right on the stock so he could sight down the scope. He fell into a natural breathing rhythm. His body just seemed to work on its own, as though he had been doing this for a long time. His aim was right, his index finger rested gently and tugged on the trigger. The report left one of his ears ringing, but when he looked for his target he saw it dead on the ground.

"Good shot!" she exclaimed, "I guess you're not so bad after all are you Mr. Regard?"

"I did that?" he was amazed. When they approached the carcass he had to find the wound just to make sure the deer hadn't spontaneously died from a massive heart attack.

"Old habits die hard don't they?" Catherine remarked as she pulled out a knife, "For a second there I thought you were the old Cezary."

"Yeah…" he sat back, she obviously knew what she was doing, "I guess when I'm not starving and panicking it's pretty easy…" he trailed off, for some reason preferring to watch her field dress a deer. After a few minutes though the silence was unbearable, "So the old Cezary huh?"

"Something on your mind?" there was a certain morbid humor in how kindly she sounded while simultaneously finishing pulling out a dead animal's organs. For a moment he could almost picture her ending some poor soldier's life while saying the same thing, "You were a bit anxious this morning. I guess you wanted me to tell you more about you."

"Well…well yes, but I'm not in a hurry, don't worry about that!" He corrected himself, "It's just that after all this I'm more of a mystery to myself than before."

"Well of course!" she laughed, "You've only heard part of your story. You knew more people than just me. There are others who can tell you about yourself. Don't rush to conclusions just yet."

"Yeah, but I seem…well to be honest I seem like I was a bastard to everyone." he sighed.

"Well yes, you were a bastard." She was still smiling, like that was supposed to cheer him up, "But you have to realize Cezary, that was at the beginning of the war. I won't say that you turned around and became a wonderful person. No, you were still yourself by the end."

"But!" she preempted him as she looped a rope around the deer's neck "You did change. No one came out of the war the same way they were going in. It has that affect. Yes, you wanted to stay alive, you got into fights to avoid patrols, you even tried to fake sickness on more than one occasion. But at the same time you changed little by little. You helped me at Kloden even though you hated Wavy, you looked after Emile at Barious even though you told me that a sick kid would just get you killed. You even…" suddenly she started giggling, an unnerving sight considering her arms were elbow deep in blood. The stifled giggling became full-blown laughter, "I…I even remember at Naggiar where you stole an army lieutenant's uniform and got Kevin and Knute…Oh the look on your face when I caught you. I wish I could do it justice!"

"So, I started using my cowardice to help the squad?" he asked. It sounded ridiculous just saying it.

"Cezary, if there's one thing I've learned from the past twenty years it's that when you're in a war, you form bonds with those around you. Those who will fight with you become important parts of your life…" she sighed, now washing her hands off in the stream. She started getting that distant look in her eyes again, _"…We few, we happy few…we band of brothers; for he today that sheds his blood with me shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile, this day shall gentle his condition…_"

A few moments of silence passed before she seemed to realize that her hands were still dipped in frigid water, "I remember hearing that when I saw a play as a little girl. It stuck with me through both of the wars…Your friends and comrades…they're the most important thing out there…" he wasn't surprised to hear her say that. He seemed to remember Doctor Engel saying something similar.

"Yes, you were a bit of a bastard Cezary." She continued as she sat down next to him. A kindly smile formed on her face, "But you were our bastard. You were squad Seven's bastard, and I don't think you were unaware of that. You're still the man who helped Kevin open up, you're still the man who got Emile through his first battle…and you're the man who I thought could look after the rest of our group of snipers if I didn't make it."

"I was what…Oh yeah that's right I was a corporal at the end of the war." Cezary recalled that bit of his file. He hadn't thought about it much, but he did wonder why he of all people had been promoted to that position.

"Yes, it was a…difficult time…" Catherine struggled to find the right words, "I was just after the Marberry Shore operation. We had won, but we lost one of our own…Isara, she was Welkin's sister and pilot of the Edelweiss. She was the one who had devised the smoke shells that got us past the beach's machine gun nests. The girl worked all night before we deployed to get them done. It just seemed so unfair that she was picked off after we thought the battle was over…Times were tough, but the war wasn't about to stop just because one person died…."

***

_Corporal Catherine O'Hara (no it was Sergeant Catherine O'Hara now) was not a stupid woman. When Welkin had informed her that they were to retake Bruhl she knew where the war was going. The Imperial army was falling back, but Bruhl was not their main line of defense. She could already tell that they would be at the Naggiar Plains by the end of the month. With that she knew that Isara's death might very well only be the first of many._

_She didn't know how Welkin had done it, but up until the end of the last battle he had somehow avoided losing a single soldier under his command. Yes, they had suffered casualties, grievous injuries and several close calls, but until the end of the battle at Marberry Shore they had not lost a single person. Perhaps, she considered, from a certain objective viewpoint even Isara's death was not his fault. No one had known that there was a small group of Imperial soldiers still around who decided to attack them after they had 'secured' the area. Despite the fact that they were enemies, Imperial soldiers tended to follow a certain code of honor, thinking themselves as the valiant knights of Europa. This was a somewhat new tactic, and one Catherine hoped that was just an isolated incident. Hopefully it would be the only time. The last thing the Gallian army needed was to be looking over their shoulders for partisans. _

_Regardless of how much they would be slowed down though one thing was for sure: The Empire would be waiting at Naggiar. And Welkin, she never thought that she would meet an officer so caring for his troops, despite his courage might very well have to face even more losses, more than his sister. It made the current situation all the worse. The squad was still mourning for Isara, but she had to keep a strong face. There had to be those few who would keep the rest going. They would move on, everyone did eventually, but right now she had to help keep the squad together Her friends needed comfort maybe a shoulder to cry on. She would provide it. It pained her; part of her just wanted to break down and cry herself, but she couldn't, not yet._

_She had to wonder if the Gallian leadership shared her observations on their enemy's movements. She had seen Welkin a little over an hour ago. He had informed her of an overdue promotion in addition to allowing her to choose one the snipers for promotion to corporal effectively giving her a second in command, as well as a possible replacement. She wanted to think that it was just because of their accomplishments, but she had to prepare for the worst._

_Oddly enough she had a bit of trouble finding Cezary. Normally he would be with Kevin or Knute, usually trying to drink the former under the table. It wasn't the best of things to blow one's pay, but it ranked as one of the many time honored military traditions. However, he wasn't with either of them. She looked around. Finally Oscar informed her that he last saw him in the barracks. The young sniper seemed worried, and finally blurted out that Cezary had seemed depressed lately. Catherine frowned at the remark. That didn't bode well. _

_As was the usual case when they returned to the capital the barracks were empty, save the man she was looking for. Cezary was sitting on his bed, currently disassembling his rifle slowly and methodically. If he noticed her he didn't show. His focus seemed to be on the rifle and rifle alone. It was definitely strange. He was usually much more attentive to his surroundings than that. She wondered for a moment if Isara's death might be bothering him. But as much as he had improved in getting along with the others he was still at odds with the Darcsens in the squad._

"_Is something wrong?" she broke the silence, obviously startling him._

"_Oh, hi corporal…No nothing's wrong, just…keeping the rifle clean." He said, sounding like he was trying to get his mind back in reality. Again something was off about him, but she couldn't quite figure out what. _

"_That's good, but we're not due to deploy until later this week." She said, sitting down next to him, "Maintaining your rifle is important, but it shouldn't be your life."_

"_Yeah I know, but you know, sometimes you just have to be sure it'll fire when you want it to." Cezary shrugged._

"_Hm, well suit yourself." She dropped the subject. If there was anything wrong he didn't seem to want to talk about it, "So I was just speaking with Welkin."_

"_Lieutenant Gunther? Is something wrong?"_

"_No, no you're not in trouble, unless you managed to do something without me knowing." She chuckled, he just shook his head at her attempt at a joke, "No actually there's going to be a few changes. I was just promoted to sergeant."_

"_Ah, congratulations." _

"_Why thank you, but that's not why I'm here. He also said that one of you is to be promoted to my second in command."_

_Cezary suddenly stopped. He realized what this was about, "So…you're about to tell me that I'm a corporal now?" she nodded, "…Well…are you sure about that?"_

"_You're the most qualified for the position." Catherine pointed out, "And if you think about it who else am I going to promote? Marina is the next choice, but we both know she's not leadership material. I think promoting her above specialist would only make her upset. Oscar, bless his heart he tries, but he still has that fear of battle that could be trouble. Emile has the drive to be a fine officer one day, but his condition worries me. Besides, they're both to young."_

"_So that leaves me." Cezary sighed, returning to work on the gun "You realize that you want the guy who's all but shot himself to get away from the front."_

"_And you're better than that and you know it. You've looked after the boys about as much as me for awhile now." Now it was her turn to sigh. If she was going to give him the position he might as well know why, "Cezary, the truth is that this war is far from over. Our next operation is going to be at Bruhl. That's just going to be a stalling action though. We'll be heading to the Naggiar Plains for sure afterwards. I need someone out there just in case…I don't make it."_

_And she heard a sharp exhale as his hand suddenly froze. For a moment she saw his face contorted in terror, but just as quickly he got a hold of himself. Then she realized what was wrong. She had seen it so many times before that she mentally kicked herself for not realizing it sooner. He was suffering from shell shock; even with Welkin trying to rotate the squad's patrols so that they had time to rest Catherine had expected this to happen eventually. That it was Cezary dealing with it wasn't a surprise, of the snipers she had always pegged either Oscar or him to be the first. Though as she thought about it she realized he had been this way for awhile, ever since Marberry…no Oscar had mentioned he was a bit out of it before them, and there was that rumor that he had seen something during the liberation of Fouzen. Supposedly Welkin could answer the question of what, but he was quiet on the subject. If it was true though then it must have done something for him to be like this. _

"_Cezary, what's wrong?" she asked in a tone that while was comforting, still demanded an answer._

"_It's nothing, just a bit tired."_

"_You're talking to someone who's been there before. It won't do you any good to keep it in like that." It was odd in a way. This was a possible way out of combat, and yet he wasn't admitting to anything._

"_It's…just weird…" he sighed, burying his face in his hands for a moment as though he were fighting sleep, "I'm fine, really. I just need to think things over for awhile. Don't worry about me."_

_He seemed to perk up, just a little of the Cezary she knew coming through, but he still hadn't convinced her. A man like him didn't just get depressed like that. He might have been trying to get pulled off the front on occasion, but the fact that he was taking peoples' lives didn't seem to bother him. He also complained about being shot at, but she had never seen him get like this, even after Squad 7 had met Prince Maximillian and that Valkyur at Barious. _

"…_Back during the last war I went through the same thing…" Catherine said after a few moments of silence passed, "It happened during the Northern Summer Offensive. We were trying to get across the trenches to assault a bunker. I was in the back as usual providing sniper cover. Those battles were always loud and distracting… I had just killed a sniper when I saw a machine gun pop up…it was aiming at my friends. I had a clear shot…I took aim…" she pantomimed the action, shouldering an invisible rifle and pulling the trigger, "…Click…it was such a quiet sound, but I still remember it distinctly…My magazine had run out. I had a clear shot, but no ammo to take it. I should have been more attentive…Because of that Laura…Evan…Nate…" she trailed off, feeling herself choke up a bit. She hated telling that story, she hated that memory, but maybe Cezary would open up if he realized that she knew what he was going through. He didn't make any comments while she forced her emotions back under control._

"…_So how did you deal with it?" he finally asked._

"_It's not easy…I blamed myself for being so negligent. Had my squad sergeant not stopped me I would have eaten my own gun..." Catherine shuddered at the memory. She had been close, only a few seconds away from pulling the trigger when a hand had pulled the pistol from her hands, "He smacked some sense into me, made me tell him why I was trying to take my own life…It wasn't easy, but if you keep it inside it'll just consume you. I don't want you to end up like me."_

"_Well I guess that explains why you lost it at Kloden…but you don't have to worry about that." Cezary grunted, again a bit more of him coming out, "It's not…It's hard to explain. I didn't get anyone killed if that's what you're thinking, and I'm not going to kill myself…I just need time to think."_

"_I see…" apparently he was still keeping it to himself, "I think I should pull you from patrol until we reach Bruhl."_

"_I'd still be going back in then right?" he asked. When she nodded he just shook his head, "Then there's no point. I'm going back to the front whether I like it or not. Odds are the patrols won't find a damn thing out there until we reach the city anyway. And if I'm being promoted I might as well act the part."_

"_Cezary don't burn yourself out. You'll just make it worse for yourself." Catherine laid a hand on his shoulder. It was almost scary, had he just rejected an opportunity to be pulled off patrol?_

"_Look…Cathy…I'll be fine." He said as he went back to reassembling the rifle._

"_If you insist. You know you can always talk to me right?" she gave in. He wasn't talking today. She would just have to keep an eye on him to see if he got worse. She hoped not, "Whatever it is, just don't let it get to you. Remember, we all screw up right?"_

_She saw a smile form at the corner of his mouth, "Yeah, that about sums it up I guess…So it's Corporal Regard now huh? Great, more money to lose to Knute at our next game."_

_Well he at least looked a little better. He was a strange one all right. Catherine just chuckled, "Cezary, try to get out before we leave. I'll see you tomorrow." He just nodded in acknowledgement. Hoping that he would be okay she turned to leave._

***

"So the only one you trusted to keep things in order had case of shell shock..." Cezary was happy to see the cabin again. Hunting was nice, but carrying an animal corpse made the trek back just that more difficult.

"It might seem ridiculous now, but it's like I said the war wouldn't stop for one person." Catherine said as they put it down. She went inside and came back out with several knives.

"…So how did I do?"

"What do you mean?"

"I was a corporal who wasn't right in the head. How did I deal with it?" he was curious. Obviously he had to have done something or else he wouldn't have seen the end of the war.

"Well if I recall you dealt with it better than I thought. It might have had to do with your new responsibilities keeping your mind off of it, maybe you finally realized that you were in it for the long run. Strange as it may seem though I think it may have had to do with your ego." That was definitely an odd reason if he had ever heard one. Catherine thought it over a bit more as she began to cut into the deer, "That's not to say you got better right away. Ironically it wasn't until Naggiar that you actually started going back to normal."

"So the battle that you were so afraid of was what made me happier?" the more he learned about himself the stranger he became.

"Maybe, the problem was that you never did tell me what was wrong." She shrugged, "But people handle stress differently. You were always 'looking out for number one', as you were apt to say that you didn't want anyone's help. You were stubborn enough to handle it on your own. It's how you did things before so it worked out for you."

"If only it was that simple." Cezary sighed, he knew that there had to be more to it than that. It was just another question about himself that he had to try and find the answer.

"I wouldn't be so sure of that." Catherine smiled, cutting off a large piece of meat, "One thing I always noticed about you was that you were a tense person. It didn't prevent you from enjoying yourself during downtime, but whenever I saw you no matter what you were doing I always saw that little bit of stress, that little bit of tension." She chuckled, "I think the first time I ever saw you truly relax was when it was confirmed that Prince Maximillian was dead. That was days after the war had actually ended. It was such a simple thing, a sigh of relief and you were fine. You just somehow managed to keep going while keeping everything bottled up. Once it was over you were able to let it go so easily. Whatever it was that you were thinking of, maybe you were right in that all you needed was some time to think it over. "

"Hm…I just wish I had some idea of what happened."

"I'm afraid I can't help you with that." She said as they carried the cuts of meat inside, "I usually had you assigned with someone else once I realized you could be trusted. Though…wait…actually…I think I might be able to be of some help after all."

"What do you mean?" Cezary perked up. She was looking outside, her face contorted in thought, like she was trying to get inspiration from the sun.

"Yes we have some time, but first I could use something to eat." She nodded to herself. He couldn't argue; he was hungry as well. With as little as he had eaten coming here in the first place his body must have been catching up with the fact that he needed more energy. It seemed the venison was to get some immediate use as Catherine began to cook some of the slabs of meat. It was a short dinner, probably because Catherine seemed to be in a hurry, constantly glancing outside and muttering to herself about not being too late.

"Is there a problem?" he finally asked.

"Oh, I don't think so. I would rather not try walking around in the dark though." She answered with her usual smile, "Don't worry yourself, I know this mountain well. I shouldn't take too long."

He accepted that. It was getting to early evening, but there was still enough light out to travel, and she didn't seem as though she feared that they were in danger, just a bit cautious about possibly travelling in the dark. He couldn't blame her, having discovered first hand what travelling while lost was like. Even so he made sure to finish his dinner as quickly as he could in order to expedite the process.

The sun seemed to be high enough in the sky by the time they were off, heading further into the mountains. However, this proved to be deceptive as it sank faster than he had expected, becoming dark less than an hour after they had left. It was a bit unnerving to say the least, but Catherine seemed to know the path. Still, it didn't help that he started to get the same feeling he had trying to find his way around the mountains in the first place. He stuck close to her, not daring to even look away from the flashlight she was holding out of fear of losing her.

With the darkness it was impossible to tell how long they traveled. But eventually he realized that they were at another cabin. It was hard to tell in the dark, the fact that he had all but lost his night vision from looking at the light didn't help, but it was probably about the same size as Catherine's if not a bit smaller. Someone was home judging from the lamp lit inside.

"Oh good, I was hoping she would still be here." Catherine said and knocked on the door. There were a few moments where Cezary thought he heard some growling and a gun being cocked, but eventually the it cracked open a few inches, and then all the way. It was a woman, another familiar face. Suddenly he remembered the other one that Irene had mentioned in her note. Catherine however seemed to take it all in stride and just smiled.

"Cezary Regard, meet Marina Wulfstan."

***

Author's Notes: '...and men in Gallia now abed shall think themselves accursed they were not here, and hold their manhoods cheap whilst any speaks that fought with us upon the Feast of All Spirits!'

...okay sorry, had to get that out. Needless to say if you don't know where Catherine's 'we happy few' line comes from, go read or see a production Henry V. Yeah, I sort of made an assumption that there was a Europa Shakespeare equivalent. The line was too good to pass up though, it fits the theme of Valkyria Chronicles all too well, okay most war stories period. The 'be he ne'er so vile...' part of it seems appropriate for Cezary as well.

And on another note we now get to Marina. of course don't think Catherine's out just yet. ;)


	6. Chapter 6

"Why are you here?" Marina's question was very straightforward. Just from that one inquiry Cezary could tell that she was quite the opposite of Catherine, very coldly direct with people. It didn't help that she had a rather withering glare that made him wish he could find a way to be out of sight right then.

"Well good evening to you too Marina." Catherine answered for him in her usual cheery manner, "I don't suppose we could come in for a visit. After all it's not every day one of your comrades decides to go out of his way to come here."

"…But why him?" had there been bad blood between them? At this point he wouldn't have doubted it.

"…Uh….hello Miss Wulfstan…" he managed to sputter out, feeling very uncomfortable as she continued to stare almost accusingly at him. Then all of a sudden the look changed to confusion. Now it seemed that she didn't know what to think about him.

"It's a bit of a story." Once again Catherine came to his rescue, "Come on now Marina. I know you don't like visitors, but this is important."

"…Fine." And that was that. The younger woman turned back into her home, leaving the front door open. It was as good of an invitation as they were going to get. Catherine acted as though this happened all the time and stepped inside; he saw no reason to not follow.

Marina's cabin looked slightly different from the other. It was sparse, with a wood stove and bed being the two largest objects in the room, and unlike Catherine she didn't have any tables or extra chairs. Judging from the number of animal furs and the fact that she owned two guns he guessed that she was a hunter by trade. It made sense; a hunter would make a good sniper, they tended to have the right qualities needed for precision shooting.

A low growl brought him from his look around, and he realized he had been wrong about guessing that she lived alone. A fox lying on the bed, one that he had originally just thought to be a pelt was looking right at him. It didn't look too happy to have had its nap disturbed, nor that a complete stranger was standing in the doorway.

"No." and with that one word Marina calmed it down. The fox took one more look at him and laid its head back down.

"I'm sorry for coming so late," Catherine started as she was rummaging through a cabinet, "but there's something that-"

"It's fine." Cezary was fast learning that this woman tended to use as few words as possible. It was also apparent that she didn't like uninvited guests coming into her home. The more he thought about it the more he was convinced that she just didn't like people in general. It would certainly explain why she lived alone so far out in the mountains.

"Why are you here?" he realized she was talking to him as she set down a bottle, the label listing it as 'Valkyrie: Gallian whiskey'.

"…Hmm…I guess long story short…I fell out of a tree, hit my head, and don't have any memories." He said, accepting the offered glass. He figured that Marina wasn't the type who wanted to hear a long explanation. Ask a question, get an answer, nothing more.

"I see…" she poured herself a glass and then just as quickly downed it much to his surprise, "This will take awhile…"

"Maybe, Miss Catherine was able to fill me on some details." Cezary's attempt at downing the whiskey only served to cause a coughing fit. If he had any stomach for it before apparently that had gone with his memories, "I don't know…I'm just trying to figure out what kind of person I was. All I can gather is that I was…complicated..." it was the best word he could find to describe himself.

"Cezary that's true for everyone." Catherine laughed, pouring herself a glass, "Memories or not you weren't the only one who thought that. Though I suppose trying to figure out yourself without first knowing your past could be tricky."

"So what do you want from me?" Marina asked, apparently still not one to want to engage in that line of conversation.

"Well there are some things that I want to ask, but I guess the easiest way would be to just start from the beginning." he felt strange asking this of her so quickly, but she had pretty much forced the issue. Just from knowing her for only a few minutes he knew that she would rather the two of them leave as soon as possible.

On hearing his request Marina held her cup to her lips and simply kept it there as she stared down at the floor. She remained like that for what seemed like an eternity. Cezary wasn't sure what to do. She seemed to go into a world of her own all of a sudden, and he was left shifting awkwardly on the crate he was using as a seat. He thought of getting her attention, but it seemed that Catherine had read his mind and shook her head with a smile and put a finger to her lips. Apparently this wasn't the first time the silent woman had done something like this; a strange one definitely.

"…I didn't like you." She said after a few more minutes of silence. He was entirely unsurprised, and could only sigh in frustration at his past self.

"I'm getting the impression that was a pretty common opinion of me?"

"Cezary, listen to her before you jump to conclusions." Catherine reminded him. He just sighed again and went to pour himself another drink.

"You were a good person at times…but normally much worse…" Marina was speaking slowly, like she was thinking through each word before talking. Cezary assumed that her prior silence was just her attempt to try and speak at more than a few words at a time. If that was the case, maybe the fact that she was drinking so heavily was probably to loosen her tongue, "From the start you were despicable…Your attitude towards your duty…towards your comrades…You may not know, but I remember what you did at Vasel…"

"…Yeah…I know, I heard…" he nodded, "I know you turned me in on that. I don't blame you."

"…I might not have done anything about it…" she continued. He got the distinct feeling that she was ignoring him and just trying to focus on talking, "…but I realized something about you…"

***

The sidearm was just as important as the rifle. Marina understood that this was especially true for the sniper. If forced into close quarters combat a sniper could not rely on a slow firing bolt- action rifle that was designed for long range combat. In those situations they had to rely on a compact, quick firing substitute to survive. The Gallian-H5 semi-auto pistol provided that ability. It was a bit larger than she would have preferred, and being semi-auto it had more moving parts. It was likelier to jam than the revolvers issued to their Imperial counterparts, but that rarely occurred. And Marina was not one to neglect proper maintenance. The pistol might very well save her life, and she intended to keep it in working order.

She didn't mind the extra task. In fact she found it comforting when she was due to go on patrol in a few hours. Just being able to focus on something so simple helped ease her mind. Disassemble, clean and oil, reassemble, she knew that it would work if she needed it. Some might have called her obsessed, but she knew that if she was going to be shot it wouldn't be because her weapon jammed at the wrong time. She might have less free time, but it was better to be prepared for the worst

"Ha ha! Looks like you're finally rising to the challenge Cezary!" the same couldn't be said for private Inglebard. Marina didn't like the self-proclaimed adventurer's gung-ho attitude. He didn't think things through, he charged headlong into a fight, and she was convinced that he was only alive because of a streak of luck that was bound to be broken at some point. Normally it would be fine by her, let him learn the hard way, but he was assigned to her patrol. He would get them all into trouble.

"Vyse it would be a challenge if you didn't have a terrible poker face." Freesia commented. Of course instead of getting ready for deployment Vyse was betting away his pay in a game of cards. Of course he play playing with Freesia. He just wanted to be around what he thought of as an exotic foreigner despite the punishment he would get later from private Thompso;, not necessarily because he was ogling another woman, but because he tended to lose badly when he gambled. She just didn't understand him, and preferred it that way.

"Hey don't encourage him. He wants to lose his money? Fine by me." And then there was Cezary Regard. The phrase 'desert rat' sometimes came up when she heard others talk about those who came from the Barious region. Marina wasn't one to use slurs, but it suited him quite well. He was rude, he stole, avoided patrols all the time, and the list of his violations went on. Had he not been so good at covering his tracks he probably would have been arrested by now. Sometimes she wished the military wasn't so desperate. Then at least men like him wouldn't be here.

"But you'll just lose it all to Knute later. I'll call." Freesia chuckled. Why the dancer chose to associate herself with those two Marina could never tell. Cezary? Maybe it was because they were both from the desert, there was at least some common ground between them. But Vyse? She had to realize his ulterior motives. It just didn't make sense.

"Yeah, but I get some cash now, and we get to see him try to explain it to Thompson. It's about all we get for entertainment around here." Cezary shrugged with a grin.

"Bah, you don't know her. She'll be mad for losing some money, but she always comes around." Vyse joined in, even though the joke was against him, "I've known her my whole life, you think a few ducat is going to keep her mad at me?"

"So she's fine with it? Could've fooled me. I'll never understand women like that." Cezary rolled his eyes, "Show 'em."

"Oh come on Cezary, you act like you're not even interested in women. You don't think much of us desert ladies?" In the end Freesia had been right. Vyse was a terrible bluffer. She had claimed the pot for the hand.

"Freesia, there are two types of people from Barious: those born in Asrein, and everyone else." He didn't seem to find it amusing, " Most of us only dream of managing to settle in the one place where there's any measure of wealth. Believe me, you've never seen any of the 'ladies' from the other parts of the desert."

"Oh Cezary, I've traveled all around the desert, you're just not paying attention." She winked.

Bah, I don't need any more distractions than I do right now." Cezary brushed her off as he lit up a cigarette, "As soon as you stop thinking about keeping alive? Bang, you catch a bullet." That sounded about right, he only cared about himself. Whenever he was in a battle he looked for spots that would make him least exposed to gunfire. It limited his field of view and made him less effective as a sniper. He was only useful if he was on overwatch and providing long range support.

"Oh really? That's not what I heard." Freesia didn't seem to want to drop the subject, "Lynn was telling me something interesting the other day…about a certain sniper at Vasel?"

"That dark-hair? You know you can't trust anything they say." And then there was his racist attitude. Normally Marina could tolerate it. Of course normally a soldier didn't let their racism get in the way of them doing their job. Not so for Cezary, she knew that first hand. Just thinking about Vasel made her grip the slide just a bit more tightly as she slid it back into place on her pistol.

"Oh really? So Nadine didn't see you keeping an ever so watchful eye on her?" he had a clear shot on that sniper. He could kill him without any problem, and yet she had seen him lower his rifle when he saw who would be the victim. He was willing to let her die just because she was a Darcsen. Corporal Stark hated Darcsens, Private Bohr hated them as well, but neither of them had gone out of their way to make sure one died like Cezary. She hated him, his bigotry went against everything she stood for. The sniper was supposed to protect his comrades from harm, not do the enemy's job.

"Wait, what? Maybe she's breathed in too many ragnite fumes!" he laughed, he laughed at the very idea that he might be a decent human being. No, it was worse than that. That was the kind of laugh one heard from the Empire's soldiers particularly, the scouting groups that attacked refugee columns. Marina never claimed to like people, the fact that she got so much attention bothered her to no end. But she never even dreamed of doing something like that. To attack those who couldn't fight back? It was despicable. And Cezary was different only in that he wasn't pulling the trigger directly. Put him in an Imperial uniform and he'd fit in perfectly.

"Look, if she actually saw what happened then she'd know that-" Cezary turned right towards her. For a moment his eyes met hers, and he stopped.

**Do you realize it? **Marina glared at him, **You don't serve Gallia, you don't serve your comrades…You're no different, you're one of them.**Was he afraid of her? He looked as though he wanted to say something, but he was frozen. His gaze locked in an expression of surprise…No that look, it was fear. He was afraid of her. There was a certain amount of gratification in that. She wanted nothing to do with him. Let him be scared, especially if it would keep him away from her. She kept that glare locked on him as she finished with her pistol. With a quick jerk she pulled the slide back and let it snap into position. The sound seemed to break his trance and Cezary quickly looked away, back to his two partners. It seemed like that had lasted for hours when she knew it had only been for a few moments as Freesia was dealing the next hand already.

"Know what?" Freesia asked.

"…Know that…I didn't care about her. It was just an easy mark." Marina was shocked. Had he just claimed her kill? She thought he would have denied even the idea that he might help a Darcsen. Wait, was he so afraid that he didn't want to upset her? The truth was that she didn't know. Unlike Vyse's quirks though this actually amused her. To think that someone like Cezary would go out of his way to not upset her. It was interesting if anything.

**But that only makes you even more the Imp…** she thought. They were scared of her too.

She had no reason to be here any longer and got up to leave, noting that he was watching her out of the corner of his eye. That didn't bother her, he could watch her all he liked, it wouldn't do him any good. She had been wondering about what to do about him considering what she knew. She would report him now. It seemed like it would have been a foregone conclusion, but she thought that she could give him a chance, but now she couldn't wait to get him out of the squad.

She took a good look at her pistol before placing it in its holster. Unlike Cezary, at least that would give her some backup she could rely upon..

***

"Really? An Imperial?" the fact that Catherine sounded disbelieving was somewhat comforting. Cezary had heard some unflattering comments about himself, but never had someone compared him to the very enemy they had been fighting, "Mari I know you two weren't best of friends, but I never knew you thought that poorly of him."

"You asked." Marina stated flatly.

"It just seems so…cruel to think of him like that." The fact that the elder was standing up for him was reassuring as well. Maybe the cold woman across from him was just very judgmental, "Besides, you know just as well as I that not all of the Imperials were bad people. If what Cezary tells me is correct a former Imperial doctor was the one who cared for him."

"Appropriate…" Marina muttered before finishing her drink, "…Do you remember what I told you about my father?"

"Yes, he was the reason you joined the militia." Catherine nodded.

"When I was young he taught me how to hold a rifle." She continued, seemingly ignoring the acknowledgement, "One of the first things he taught me was that if I was going to take someone life it should be in defense, either of myself or another. I grew up in the mountains, I didn't have to worry about my life being threatened by another person, not until the war. When I was called to serve I had to travel with a refugee column to reach Randgriz. While travelling we were attacked by an Imperial scout patrol...They had no reason to attack; no one was threatening them. We were forced to scatter. I saw them kill innocents, people who couldn't fight back. For what reason? None…I realized…this was happening all over Gallia, and those people who couldn't fight back needed to be protected. I decided to fight for that reason."

Cezary was impressed, he never expected her to be that open about what must have been a personal matter. The liquor must have been affecting her the same way it was him if she was that willing to talk.

"But you…" she turned to him, "What was your reason for fighting?"

"Mine? I…I…" he started, trying to answer a question he knew was impossible for him to answer.

"Mari, he doesn't remember anything. You can't expect him to answer that." thankfully Catherine stepped in to help him once again.

"He might not remember, but it doesn't make any difference. He didn't have a reason." Marina wasn't even trying to hide her anger anymore, "He had no care for anyone other than himself. Everyone, they were just means for him to stay alive through the end of the war. If they died it didn't matter so long as he lived. And if he didn't like you?…You know what happened if he didn't like someone, they were on their own as far as he was concerned. No life other than his own was worth anything. Change his uniform to the Empire's and he would be no different. Nadine did nothing to him, but he had no issues letting her die…"

Catherine still wasn't convinced, "Mari, I know how he was-"

"Don't bother, I know how I was like." Cezary interrupted her, "I've heard it from her, you…myself…" he sighed, "Look, I was a complete utter bastard. I know what I did, I wish I could undo it, but I can't. For what it's worth I'm sorry."

Marina didn't seemed moved by his gesture, he wasn't surprised, "Really though that's not why I'm here talking to you. Yeah I was a pretty horrible person, but something happened to me…Something before uh…" he looked helplessly at Catherine.

"Bruhl." She filled in for him, "Remember when I told you he might be suffering from shell shock Mari?"

"Oh…that…" Marina mumbled, "I don't know what happened."

"But something was different about me though?"

"No…well yes." she corrected herself, "…You were the same, except you were less racist."

"So I dropped it, what the hell was wrong with me?" it seemed like a valid question to him. But judging from the expressions on the two women he realized that maybe he could have worded that better , and maybe he had drank a bit too much.

For her part Marina didn't seem to bothered by it, "All I know is that you saw something after our operation at Fouzen. I don't know what it was."

"I don't think anyone does." Catherine added.

"You didn't change much beyond that though." Marina again continued as though she were the only one speaking, "You only cared about winning still. Maybe I might have thought differently for awhile, but your true self came back at Naggiar…"

***

Marina hurriedly made her way through the winding maze that was the Gallian trench lines. She wasn't supposed to be out here. She was technically supposed to be resting after her section had pulled the last guard shift while the rest of the army worked to try and make headway. Naturally the Imperial Valkyrur had thwarted those efforts, and so she couldn't sleep. She could never sleep while she knew that the enemy could close in and surround them at any minute. To try and reassure herself she had decided to take a quick walk around the trenches and make sure they were still in fact secure in their position.

It turned out that she had decided to take her right as an Imperial force was making their move, a force led by General Selvaria Bles. It was practically a death sentence. Normally one could hold a prepared defensive position against equal numbers, in fact under normal circumstances the Imperial unit would have had to outnumber them at least three to one to even hope to overrun their position. This situation however had a Valkrur involved, and as previous experience had shown she might as well have been an entire army by herself.

The men and women rushing to their positions, the ones manning machine guns, radioing mortars and artillery, the ones setting up for the onslaught; they had no chance. Maybe if the entire Gallian army was focused on this one part of the field, maybe they could withstand this attack, but as it was all they were looking at was death, and an Imperial breakthrough. It would take nothing short of a miracle for this battle to be turned around.

While she knew that was the only way to win Marina had not actually expected a miracle to occur, But when she saw the lines part and a figure in a Gallian uniform surrounded by the blue flames of a Valkyrur step out into the open there was suddenly hope. Unfortunately, even if Alicia managed to win in her state there was still the Imperial force in front of them. They needed help, and Marina wasn't about to let this opportunity slip.

So she found herself hurrying to the bunkers located at the rear of the trench lines, spreading the word to get troops to the front. It wasn't too difficult; the words Alicia and Valkyrur in the same sentence tended to get the necessary attention to either get someone to the frontlines, or for them to head off to get more soldiers. After a few minutes of informing others she found herself at her bunker. It wasn't a surprise to find Cezary, still asleep even with the battle occurring close by.

"Corporal wake up, we're needed at the front." She grabbed his shoulder and shook. He stirred, rubbing his eyes with one hand as he groped for a nearby watch.

"…Erg…We still have another two hours before we're back on patrol, get some rest Wulfstan." He mumbled before trying to get back to sleep. He had no energy it seemed, and it sounded like he didn't care if they were overrun.

"We're needed now." Marina pulled him into a sitting position and shoved his rifle into his hands, "Alicia is a Valkyrurian and is battling the empire's Valkyrur. We're about to have a shift in the battle and need everyone at the front, including you."

"…What?" Cezary asked in the same deadpan tone. He didn't seem to believe her. Pausing for a moment she had to admit, saying it like that without being able to see the battle certainly did sound ridiculous, "Look, if this is your idea of a joke…then I'm surprised that you even have a-"

"No joke." She handed him his ammo belt, "Stop stalling and get outside."

"…You're really serious aren't you?" he still sounded like he had his doubts, but still managed to get his uniform buttoned and equipment together. Urging him on, Marina dragged him out of the bunker. Upon stepping outside they were almost immediately met with an explosion of blue light. The sight seemed to snap her superior out of his stupor. She saw his face twist into a look of shock as it slowly sank in that there were indeed a pair of Valkyrur fighting in the middle of no-man's land.

"…You're kidding…" he trailed off. She thought he was still trying to get a grasp of the situation when he took off in the direction of the battle. It was surprising, he rarely ran towards the explosions. However, considering what she had been expecting to have to do to get him on the line she was not about to argue and took off after him.

While Marina would never admit it she was amazed at how she had to struggle to keep up with him. Cezary was darting through the trench lines like a man possessed. Even when they reached the front he chose to go out of cover, scrambling halfway up a watch tower to get a better look of the field. The energy he had lacked before had suddenly returned.

In the time Marina had left to get reinforcements the battle between the Valkyrur had ended. Selvaria was nowhere to been seen, but Alicia was marching, no stumbling towards the Imperial lines. The explosions they had heard had probably been her blasting apart the now smoldering Imperial bunkers visible from their trench lines.

"…You weren't kidding…" Cezary was beside her again, back in the safety of the trench. He seemed dazed still, perhaps in shock about the sudden change in circumstances, "I never thought we'd…Valkyria, Valkyria…bless and protect our fertile land…" she recognized it as one of the excerpts from the national anthem. The way he muttered it though, he was definitely in shock about it.

"Are we going to advance?" she asked. He needed to get his mind back at the task at hand.

"What? Oh…" he peeked out over top again, "I don't know, she looks like she's doing a good enough job on her own…When did she…" He was distracted. He was fixated on the woman currently annihilating the Imperial lines on her own. That wouldn't do; he was supposed to keep his wits about him at a time like this. Staring awestruck at a Valkyrian wasn't going to keep the rest of them in line.

"…Get down here." It wasn't a request. She grabbed Cezary by the belt and pulled him back down, "Corporal, we need a decision."

"Right…" he was still out of it as he ran his hand through his hair, still glancing over his shoulder as though he could see the battle overhead, "…A Valkyrur of our own…Heh we might actually win this…"

It was getting annoying. Marina was rapidly finding herself in a situation where her superior was proving himself unfit to perform his duties. Part of her wanted to find someone else who could bring some order to their lines, but she knew that she was stuck with him for the time being. She was probably going to have to take charge if anything was going to be done. She hated that, but she doubted that there was anyone else around who was in the right frame of mind to do anything.

"Regard!" she looked over her shoulder to see Jane jogging towards them. That was a relief, she was also a corporal, though Marina thought she was in charge of the next trench over. Corporal Turner shoved her way over to him and grabbed him by the shoulder. It seemed to snap him out of his stupor, "Runner just got to my trench. We're goin' over the top."

"We're attacking? I'd rather not get in her way." Cezary said, standing back up and looking out again.

"Yeah I know, she's just cutting down anyone who gets in her path." Surprisingly Jane agreed with him, "But orders are orders. We're here to kill Imps, not watch someone else do it."

"Even so…I guess we should get ready, but try to…" he trailed off, "…Oh no…" that wasn't good. Marina joined him in looking over the field. Alicia's blue flames had gone out, in fact she was now unconscious in the middle of no man's land. The Gallian Valkyrur was no longer there. She could see a brief bit of panic take hold of Cezary as he watched the scene before he suddenly dropped back down into the trench. He was visibly shaken again, probably only barely keeping hold of himself, but it was a brief moment; he suddenly perked up with a bit of vigor.

"Looks like we're going out there." He said, finally a bit of confidence back in his voice, "Looks like we're the closest trench. She's our Valkyrur, and I don't think the brass wants them getting ahold of her. Get ready for the assault."

Jane nodded all too eagerly, "Anything that'll bring the Imps to us. We'll be out there."

"Wulfstan get everyone ready to attack." He ordered after she had left. He was already setting up on the top of the trench for sniper support. While she was glad he was finally taking charge Marina couldn't help but notice that he was finally returning to normal. He was dead set on getting Alicia back, and she knew that it wasn't out of concern. No, she knew exactly why he was so set on doing what it took to get her back.

"Right…" she started off, but stopped. She had to know, "So…are you worried about Alicia? Or the Valkyria?"

He stared evenly back at her, "Whichever one wins us this damned war Wulfstan. Now hurry up."

"…" Of course he would answer like that. Marina never had any doubt that was his exact reason. She couldn't help but feel sorry for her sergeant now. After all Alicia had just become the 'Savior of Gallia', and she was going to have to protect men like Cezary. It was a sad state of affairs, but no matter the reason they were going to have to get her back.

She couldn't help but be a bit disappointed as she started off. For a moment she had actually had a bit of hope for him.

***

"Whichever one wins the war…No sympathy…no compassion…All you cared about…" Marina fell silent when Catherine laid a hand on her shoulder.

"Mari, you're drunk. I think it's time for you to go to bed." Perhaps the same could have been said of himself, but Cezary was in no mood to sleep. Even before Marina had gotten up he was closing the door behind him as he stepped outside. It was a chilly night, but after being in that cabin for several hours he was thankful for the chance to cool down. Plus it gave him time to clear his head. He needed it after that little session.

He knew that Catherine had brought him up here in hopes that Marina would have been able to fill in some of the gaps that she had been unable to do herself. As it was all she had done was confirm that he had not been a person who was well liked. What was worse was that he still only had a vague idea of what had happened that triggered his problems. About the only thing that he had gotten out of it was that he didn't hate Darcsens as much afterwards, and that wasn't saying much. All he had done was succeed in antagonizing one of his squad mates, and that was just by visiting her.

"Sorry, I wasn't expecting that." Catherine sat down beside him, "Marina's always been a bit solitary-"

"Don't worry about it." He sighed, "After all she was right wasn't she?"

"Try not to let it worry you. She just tends to remember the worst of it." She said, "I had assigned you two together between Marberry and Fouzen so I thought you might have told her something. I guess I was expecting a bit too much. You two were always at odds."

"…Not surprised…So are we heading back tonight?"

She shook her head, "It's too dark and I don't think you would want to try and walk a mountain path in your shape. We'll head off tomorrow morning. You should probably head back inside. The two of you both had a bit too much in there."

He wasn't up for arguing and at her urgings followed her back in. He was ready to sleep. He could only hope that by morning he would forget everything.

***

Author's Notes: ...Okay...over a month since I last updated this. Now I've been trying to keep consistent with my updats, but as it turns out I hit a few snags writing this chapter. First off, well life happened. I suppose that would come up from time to time, but my weekends (when I usually write) were eaten up a bit over the last month or so. Hopefully that won't happen again, though Murphy has a tendancy to come back and haunt me for such comments.

However, equally important was that I found that writing for Marina is tough. Starting this chapter I had an idea of what I was writing, but when I actually sat down and started to type, well I just started to blank out with her. I suppose it has to do with the fact that she's suppsed to be this somewhat isolated person. If it were just that I could have probably worked with it. But then Edy's Detachment came around and she gives this speech about protecting the weak. Now I try to stay close to canon here, but working that in, it just made things difficult to put down in words. It's kind of hard to write for a person who is supposed to not care, yet does.

Then again I _am _writing a Cezary story here. :p


	7. Chapter 7

Even though he was without memories Cezary still considered himself an intelligent man. He had made a few mistakes certainly, but that could be attributed to inexperience, or rather lack of memories of past experiences. And when he woke up the next morning he was able to take the opportunity remember how bad a hangover could be; his head was pounding, he felt nauseated, and it only served to make him further regret coming up to the cabin.

"I need to get out of here." He mumbled while stumbling to his feet. The others were still asleep. Even though body telling him to get outside as soon as was humanly possible he knew that he had to at least be respectful. Despite his condition he managed to quietly make his way to the door. Surprisingly, the blast of air that greeted him helped to make him feel marginally better.

It was a frigid morning, but the air served to cool his brow a bit, enough to sooth his headache for a minute. Unfortunately his body was still to apt to remind him that it was not satisfied with his current condition, and wouldn't be so until he emptied his stomach. He was all too happy to cooperate.

As he retched in the middle of a mountain forest he had to admit that his situation was certainly not the best. It wasn't just the hangover, though that didn't help matters; he couldn't help but wonder if trying to find his squad mates was even a good idea. He could tell that opinions of him weren't the best. Catherine seemed to think better of him, but from what he could gather she was the type of person who tried to find the best in everyone. Marina, she seemed to be the exact opposite, entirely outright in her dislike of him. Granted she was the only other person he had spoken to, but her words had still hurt, and he couldn't help but feel that it would happen again. Worse, he knew that she had been forced to trudge up memories she'd rather have forgotten. How many others was he going to force into doing that? Who was he to interfere with the lives of people who were probably just trying to forget?

_But then you're stuck wondering what happened to you._ He was stuck between the proverbial rock and a hard-place. The only way to learn more about himself was to find people who might not want to talk about sighed as he turned back to the cabin, silently wishing that he could think of these things when he wasn't already suffering from a nasty headache. That all changed when he saw who was waiting for him.

He froze, as though he had stepped on a land mine and only just realized his mistake. At the moment he actually preferred that to have been in that situation than to see Marina sitting on her porch, her gaze fixed upon him. He wasn't sure what to do. What could he do? Run away into the woods? While a somewhat inviting idea he knew that it was ridiculous. She wasn't going to hurt him, she could have done that already. She had probably heard him leave and was wondering what he was up to. Still he couldn't shake the thought that she had some other, more sinister motive for being there. He didn't like it, but his only option was to accept the fact that she was going to be on that porch when he tried to go back inside.

It was an awkward few seconds as he started back. She continued to stare at him; he wondered if maybe she was in fact expecting him to break and run. That made just as little sense. Why would she do something like that? Did she really hate him that much? He was focusing so much on trying to figure out her motives that he almost didn't hear her mutter 'sorry' when he was right next to her.

"Excuse me?" he did a double take. Out of all the things she could have said it was sorry?

"I was harsh." Marina continued, finally breaking her stare away from him and to the ground, "I'm sorry."

"Oh…uh…thanks?" quite frankly Cezary was unsure what to say. It had been the last thing he had expected. It seemed so sudden, so out of the blue that he had to wonder if Catherine might have had a hand in it.

"No, because everything I said about you was true." Marina said, completely absolving her of any part in it "I didn't like you. I wish you hadn't come here. But I didn't tell you everything last night."

"You make it sound like you're holding in some secret." He decided to sit down next to her. It was looking like there was more to her than just hatred towards him. There was some comfort in that.

"No, but you deserve to know." she looked uncomfortable, "You helped me once."

"I did? I mean if I did then I did, but it just sounds strange considering that I'm pretty sure we didn't get along."

"No we didn't, but it doesn't change the fact." Marina paused for a few moments, looking like she was trying to gather her thoughts, "…It was Bruhl…"

_It might have been a beautiful city once; even while being a battlezone it still had a certain charm to it, but all of those old houses lining the streets were now just possible hiding spots. The entire squad's advance was being slowed simply because of the number of snipers deployed by the Imperials. It must have been worst for Welkin, who probably knew who owned each one of those homes. He was the one who had to order mortar fire or use the Edelweiss's main gun on them. _

_None of that mattered to Marina though. Now wasn't the time to be dwelling on the moral implications of destroying peoples' homes. They had already done that on many an occasion. Regardless of how Bruhl once looked it was irrelevant. Once they cleared the city of Imperial soldiers then she could take the time to admire it, but now all she cared about was getting one particular enemy sniper._

_He had been harassing them since they arrived, and he never stayed in one spot. He was a frustrating target. Every time she thought she had him he was either taking a shot at her, or had moved from his position, but he was falling back with the rest of them. Now with the remainder of their forces rallied around the twin windmills she knew they could finally get him. _

_Sliding a round into the chamber Marina peeked out the window of the two-story building that they had found which had a commanding view of the battlefield. Cezary was in the next room. It was a better spot than her own, but they both knew which one of them would be better off at hitting an enemy sniper. She couldn't argue with his skill, and had no problem with volunteering to be a spotter. _

_Shouldering her rifle she scanned the field. There were plenty of targets, but the rest of the squad knew about those positions. Her job was to eliminate that sniper, and if she found him she would. She swept the area, looking for the dulled red of an imperial ace. Then she saw him. He was crouched at a building corner, his rifle pointing right back at her. She saw him twitch, and ducked back inside just as the bullet hit the window frame, right where her head had just been. A moment later a second rifle sounded from the next room. Hopefully Cezary had gotten him, otherwise it was likely she would have shot at again._

_She was going to see if he had hit when she noticed something out of the corner of her eye. It saved her life. An imperial shocktrooper was only a few feet away. He must have been trying to sneak up on her. She only had a few moments; he noticed that she had seen him and his submachinegun snapped up, now leveled at her. Marina however had been taught better than that. As soon as she had seen him move she swung the butt of her gun out and slammed it into his hands just as he pulled the trigger. The burst went wide and the gun came out of his hands. Of course that didn't mean she could relax. There was still an enemy just out of arm's reach. If she didn't act, she'd die._

_Time seemed to slow; both his and her bodies were moving like they were underwater. She wasn't surprised by it though; whenever she got into close combat her body reacted like this, maybe it was the surge of adrenaline that came with being so close to danger but she was used to it. Following through she slammed the butt of the rifle into his chest, sending the soldier stumbling back. Good, there was distance between them now. She had only seconds to figure out a course of action. She was aware that her back was to the window; if there were any Imperial snipers in view they could easily shoot her in the back. She could discern the discharge of a handgun nearby; it was too close. Did this soldier have a partner? Was her partner in danger as well? Her eyes darted around the room, noting the overturned side table, the bed frame that had been splintered by a mortar round, the fallen dresser, and anything that she could use to her advantage. She looked at the rifle in her hands; it was too big and unwieldy for close-quarters combat. And finally her eyes came to rest on her enemy._

_At the same time her body was moving of its own accord. It was entirely reflex, honed through hours of practice, training, and simple battle experience. She didn't even need to try; she had dropped her rifle already. She took a step to the side, trying to distance herself from the window. Her hand snaked down to her holstered sidearm. She brought it up, her other hand already going to grip the back of the slide. A quick tug as she raised the pistol pulled it back and allowed a round to be chambered. And as her eyes finally came to rest on the Imperial shocktrooper her pistol snapped into place, with him right in her sights. _

_It was then that she realized the problem with the man across from her. This situation had happened to her before; it was only natural that at some point an Imperial would get the drop on her. But unlike the other ones, this soldier seemed to have expected it. If he anticipated it then it was likely that he was very experienced, possibly even a veteran of the first war. He had just reacted too swiftly to the situation. She hadn't expected it, but when she focused on him she saw that that he had ripped his helmet off. And even as her finger tightened around the trigger he had already hurled it at her._

_The steel helmet clipped the side of her barrel and smashed into her hands. Her gun fired wildly and her hands unconsciously spasmed from the blow, dropping her gun. For a moment she started to go for her knife, but then saw that he was charging at her. She instinctively moved to protect herself when he slammed into her barreling her back into the wall. Time suddenly returned to normal as he starting raining blows onto her head. She only had the thought to get away. She had leverage against the wall and threw her entire weight into him, enough to push him back and give her time to roll away when he tried to attack her again._

_With a bit of space between them she could think straight. He was larger than her, and probably equally skilled in close combat. She was at a distinct disadvantage. That was important, she had to trip him up somehow. In other circumstances she might have ran, but she didn't know if he had a partner in the next room. It could have been that she was cornered, but even so she wasn't going to surrender. Her father hadn't taught her that; he had taught her to survive. _

_She didn't have a chance to go for her knife. He came at her again, this time she saw a flash of steel in his hand. Once again she had to worry about protecting herself as he stabbed down at her. She managed to deflect the knife and took the opening to punch him hard in the face. Blood gushed from his nose as he stumbled backward. Not to give him a chance to attack again Marina rushed and tackled him, sending the two of them sprawling over. So far so good, she had him on the ground and had that moment to try and grab her gun._

_Unfortunately for her he recovered from a smashed nose faster than she had thought, and before she could go for it there was movement out of the corner of her eye. She held her arm up to block and managed to catch his arm before he could bring the knife down in her. It still knocked her from her side to her back though and all of a sudden she was in the situation she was trying to avoid. He was on top of her, now able to use his superior strength and weight to press down against her. Marina had kept herself in shape; years as a hunter and this war had helped her maintain a good physique, but this man could still simply overpower her. She had to keep both her arms up just to hold him back, and that knife was inching closer. Even so she looked around, noting anything that she might be able to use to get out of this. She wasn't about to give up, even if things looked dire._

"_Dammit!" the exclamation startled both her and the Imperial as a familiar figure slammed into him from the side, sending the two of them sprawling a few feet away. Marina had never thought she would be relieved to see Cezary, but he had just tackled the soldier off of her, and had managed to be on top of the pile. His blows were erratic though, he was just wailing at the Imp's head, his pistol in hand. Why was he pistol whipping when he could have shot him? She knew that such wild punches wouldn't work against a seasoned veteran. Sure enough the Imperial held his arms up and simply blocked one of the punches. With that side open her partner was hit with a strong haymaker on the side of his head. The blow sent him tumbling, coming to a stop a few feet away, dazed and moaning as he tried to get to his feet. His opponent was in much better shape. Beaten, but still very much in control he snatched up the pistol Cezary had dropped and sighted down it at its original owner. His finger tightened around the trigger._

_Nothing happened. For the first time the soldier's face showed surprise, and then horror as he felt something poke into the back of his head. Marina pulled the trigger of his submachine gun, splattering bits of his head on the floor._

"…_No…wait…don't…" she looked over at her partner. Cezary still seemed out of it, weakly holding up his hands in a feeble attempt to defend himself from a gunshot that wasn't going to happen . _

"_Corporal." Her words seemed to bring him back a bit. He slowly looked up, saw her, saw the gun in her hands, and the Imperial's body. As it dawned on him that he was still alive he just slumped back against the wall. She could see him quivering, his blood rush was wearing off. _

"_Dammit…Dammit…Dammit dammit dammit! Why won't they just leave…" he muttered in between ragged breaths. Marina picked up his pistol; a bullet casing was lodged in the slide, classic stovepipe jam. That explained why he didn't just shoot him when he had the chance, "He had me. I should've…I'm…"_

"_Corporal." She repeated, offering him the gun. Again her words seemed to bring his wits back. He looked up, and then as though he were unsure of his actions slowly took his gun. He looked down at the jam, and then finally came to his senses with a tired sigh._

"_His buddy caught me." He said, clearing the jam. He sounded tired, worn out "Almost tagged me after I took my shot. Managed to get a few rounds in him when I heard the fight in here." He remained seated, slowly unbuttoning and tugging on his collar, breathing a bit easier._

"_Did you get him?" he looked confused as he reached for his cigarettes in his breast pocket, "The sniper, did you get him?"_

"_Oh…right, that." He muttered, seeming having forgotten why they had been up here in the first place, "Yeah he's down, got him through the neck. He's gone." It was strange, he sounded like he didn't care, no 'easy mark' comment like he always made. It sounded like he didn't care. She brushed it aside as shock from being caught in a melee._

"_Then we should move." normally Marina's suggestion would have just made him argue for a few moments, but this time he just groaned and got up, apparently not having the energy to protest. After gathering her weapons they started for the door._

"_So, uh thanks for saving my ass there." Marina's only acknowledgement was a slight nod as they continued on. It was a strange thing for him to say she had to admit._

_After all, he had been the one to save her._

It was quite the story coming from her, not necessarily because of what happened, but because Marina had actually told it. She wasn't the type of woman to admit weakness. It must have been important to her if she were willing to tell it in it's entirety like that. Considering what she had said of him last night Cezary was at a loss for words.

"Thank you." and yet again she surprised him with two simple words. Since when was she so friendly?

"You're welcome?" he wasn't sure how exactly to answer. The fact that she had been so hostile the night before and was now thanking him for something he didn't even remember doing was making his headache come back.

"You saved my life. I would have died if you hadn't intervened." Marina said, "You at least deserved to know that, and I never thanked you for it."

"I see, well don't worry about it." Cezary sighed, finding himself staring at the ground, "It's not like I remember it anyway so I can't hold it against you."

"…So are you going to keep going?" she asked.

"I don't know. I want to, but the more I learn about myself the more confused I get." He found it odd that Marina of all people was so inquisitive about the subject, "Besides, seeing you last night made me realize that I might be trudging up some bad memories."

"I don't like to think about it." it was scary how much she was admitting to him. For a moment he had to wonder again if Catherine had put her up to this. The problem with that was that Marina didn't seem like the type to let herself be forced to say something she didn't want, "It may not be the same for everyone. They have others to help them."

"Sounds like you've been having a tough time dealing with it." Marina only shrugged in response, "So why not try to talk to someone?"

"I've come this far alone." Again she just shrugged as she got up. She paused as she turned to go back inside, "In some ways you're the lucky one. We all did things that we hated. You don't have to remember them."

She stopped again as she opened the door, "And I prefer you the way you are now than back then." and with that she went back inside. He doubted that she would talk any more about it. He found himself burying his heads in his hands; his headache suddenly intensifying. That was the last thing he needed to hear. He was already confused enough as it was.

"So now what?" it just about summed up his thoughts. At least one thing was for sure: he was going to have plenty to think about on the way back.

Thankfully hangovers didn't last too long, and after a short goodbye Catherine had lead him down the mountain again. It wasn't back to her cabin though. He had decided it over breakfast, he was ready to move on. It was time to try elsewhere, whether or not that meant finding the other Sevens was yet to be seen, but he needed to get out of the mountains, mainly as far away from Marina as he could be. Of course that meant hiking over unfamiliar territory, and feeling lost again despite Catherine's promises that they could make it to the plains by noon. He didn't mind though, the walk gave him time to think

Unfortunately he kept going in circles. He wanted to know; what he knew about himself only served to confuse him. His attitudes seemed to vary depending on where he was and when it happened during the war. It all boiled down to 'why?' War changed a man, that much was obvious, but it didn't entirely explain his case. On the other hand war left some terrible memories. If the only way to find out was through his squad what kind of person would he be to force them to remember things they didn't want? Marina was obviously someone who preferred to forget about things, to the point where she probably tried to drink away bad thoughts. Yes, he had a better picture of himself now, but at what price?

"And I prefer you the way you are now than back then" and then there was what she had said to him. Even though he had saved her life once she still liked him better now, when he had no memories, a different personality even. She didn't like him before, what would others think. Catherine? She certainly held him in higher regard, but she seemed to hold most everyone the same way. When it came down to it those two were the only ones he had to judge by, and they were pretty much polar opposites. So where did that leave him? Half of everyone would hate him? But he couldn't go by that.

"You've been pretty quiet. Is something bothering you?" Catherine was observant as always.

"Just thinking about what I'm going to do." he shrugged.

"There's more to it than that." she pointed out, sitting down on a log, "Are you worried about leaving? I thought you seemed ready to go earlier today. If you're not ready then-"

"No, nothing like that. I'm fine with that actually." he flopped down next to her, "Why am I doing this?"

"Well I think that would be obvious." She laughed, "You don't know if you want to remember?"

"Did Marina tell you about our talk this morning?" he asked. She shook her head. That at least helped alleviate the thought that Catherine had put her up to it. Either that or she was lying to him right now, but that seemed unlikely, "Well, we did have a talk…and I'm not sure if I should be doing this. I didn't realize it before but she's been trying to forget everything that happened. I think I just opened up some old wounds."

"She'll be fine, I'm sure." he added before she could get in a word, "But what if I keep doing that? The war is over, people are trying to get on with their lives and here I come in forcing them to start remembering something they don't want? Why am I more important than they are? I wasn't well liked Cathy, and the more I do this, the more I'm a selfish bastard like back then."

Catherine remained silent for a few moments, apparently weighing her words carefully before speaking, "Cezary, you can't make judgements of yourself just because of Marina. She's not a bad person, but she's a troubled girl. No matter what she says or tries to justify it she hates herself for what she did in the war. Why do you think she lives out here? We all have to deal with the ghosts of our pasts. We're all where we are now because of the war. Some handled it better than others…" she trailed off. There was more to it he realized. She was talking about herself more than anything.

_**It's funny, she was concerned about everyone, so much that she was afraid of running out of ammo in a fight and being helpless to give a hand. I wonder why she ran away like that? Find out if you can.**_

Suddenly, Irene's letter seemed to make a bit more of sense. Catherine's isolation didn't make sense unless he assumed that she was running from something herself.

"I did it again didn't I?" was all he could think to ask.

"No, you can't blame yourself…" Catherine sniffled, but the fact that she was rubbing at her eyes in an attempt to stave off the tears said otherwise, "It's just- I'm-…We were lucky Cezary…"

"What do you mean?"

"Us, our unit, Squad Seven. When the war began Welkin promised us that he would get us through it, and he did. We lost so few while other squads were wiped out entirely. We were lucky, so lucky It's the only reason I made it through. Cezary I've been there before." She paused again, sobbing ever so slightly as she tried to speak, "But every time we lost someone I was back in that trench, looking at the same machine gun, and realizing I had taken my last shot. If it weren't for Welkin I…" she trailed off, shaking. He wasn't sure what to do. The best, he decided, was to lay his hand on her shoulder. It wasn't much, but the gesture did appear to calm her down a bit.

"It's going to happen again, a war I mean." she said, "The Empire and Federation are still fighting, and Gallia still has ragnite. Maybe it'll be one or the other, but it will happen. I've been through enough to know that…and I won't be able to do it again. Welkin won't be there next time, and I can't stand to see it happen again. I can't do it, even if it means I can never see anyone again."

"So that's why you're up here?" she nodded silently. It was a sobering revelation, but it made a twisted amount of sense. She was so scared of seeing her friends die that she isolated herself like this, even if she hated doing it. She stuck herself in a no-win situation. Again he was at a loss for words, "Well…it's not like there's going to be a war anytime soon. I doubt you'd be drafted; and I'm not helping am I?"

"I appreciate the thought." Catherine managed to laugh, even while dabbing the tears out of her eyes, "but I've already thought about that. Could you watch your friends go off to war without joining them?"

"Probably not." He admitted, already getting her point, "You'd have to wonder if you could have done anything to help if they die anyway."

"You know what the funny thing is? I think there was a time when you might have actually answered yes to that." she suddenly changed the subject, "You're a different man now Cezary, but you have a right to find out about your past. And remember, bastard or not you were still a Seven."

"We happy few huh?" he sighed, "I don't know Cathy, it still just seems wrong. Of course it might be easier with a friend to tag along?"

"Trying to extend an invitation?" Catherine seemed to have snapped out of her brief bout of depression, dusting herself off as she stood up, "Sorry, but my place is up here now. I'm not just running away, Marina needs someone to watch out for her."

"Marina? As big a loner as she is?"

"In a way she's just like me, someone who's trying to run away and forget it all, but she's still young and despite the face she puts on she needs someone to look after her." She smiled her usual warm smile "I'm doing okay, Cezary. You might not think it great company, but I have her if I need the companionship, and I go into town every so often. It's not too bad."

"Sounds like you're trying to convince yourself more than me." he pointed out as he got up himself, "But I guess I shouldn't try to push you. Will you at least see me off?"

"Of course I will! I couldn't let you get lost here again anyway." The two shared a laugh as they set off. Cezary still wasn't sure if he wanted to leave Catherine out here like she was, but she seemed to be set in her ways. He wasn't going to be able to convince her, no matter how much he wanted to. Maybe if he could remember something, maybe if all came back he could return and give a better case. For now though he would have to let it be. Still he was content to have her company until he left to go back to Randgriz. Perhaps there he could find out something about the rest of his squad, and maybe unlock more of his faded memories.

Of course there was still that nagging doubt. Would it be worth it? Catherine was right, everyone had to deal with their own demons, he would have to remember them.

A/N: Okay, I'll admit there was quite a bit of writer's block going on these last two months. Having my computer decide to die on me didn't help matters too much. Excuses I know, but I'm still working away at this, and I intend to see it through to the end come hell or high water.

Anyway, so exits Catherine and Marina. Admittedly I was struggling with whether to spread this out over two chapters, but eventually settled on one. With Marina I did somewhat want to give her more time to explore her character. A major theme that I'm pretty sure I've been laying on pretty thick is that war changes a person. The experience of battle is something that's difficult to express to someone who hasn't seen it (this is coming from someone who has not been in the military so I'm not trying to preach here). For someone like Marina who is naturally a loner, trying to hold that in could lead to some pretty nasty consequences. As for Catherine, her motivations I wanted to spend a bit more time on as well, but ultimately decided against it. If I tried to go to far in I kept thinking that I was ripping off of Huhn's fic. However, with the way I wrote Marina it seemed appropriate that she'd still hang on to that part of herself just to help her friend get by.

That aside I shall endeavour to continue.


	8. Chapter 8

Once again Cezary's first view of the capital was the scaffolding of Randgriz tower looming on the horizon. As he tried to force himself awake he couldn't help but think about his trip there the first time. In particular he thought back to Doctor Engel's off-hand comment that he looked like a little kid the first time he had seen the castle. He had brushed it off before, but right then he felt it. It wasn't any sense of wonder that a child might have at seeing the castle for the first time; it was a sense of dread. Before he had someone he who could have at least given him a place to sleep, but now he was going in alone. To make matters worse his time with Catherine hadn't warmed him up to the prospect of meeting some of his squad.

"Come on, Cathy told you to stop worrying." He tapped his fist on his forehead as the train was pulling into station, "First things first, I need to figure out what I'm even doing here…"

Breakfast was easy enough. Catherine had a little money to lend him, enough that he would have at least one meal for the day. Truthfully he wasn't as worried about food this time around. Before he had made the mistake of wandering into the mountain wilderness unprepared. Randgriz was a modern city; it would be hard to actually get lost and nearly die like that. The problem was that it was still somewhat foreign to him, and he only knew one person who lived there.

"Koller…" He muttered. Irene Koller, she knew his entire squad apparently, and she had been willing to help him before. After all the only reason he even had any idea as to where to find Catherine had been because of her. It seemed as good an idea as any. If anything maybe she knew of others who lived in the capital. Considering how large and central it was to Gallia's infrastructure, that no one from squad seven would be living there would be preposterous. He was surprised he hadn't thought of that earlier.

The Writing on the Wall was easy enough to find. While Cezary was still unfamiliar with the city he remembered when she had shown him the place the first time. In particular he remembered the sign for Castlefront Street. Even if he wasn't familiar with the area a few questions got him pointed in the right direction. It wasn't long before he found himself in front of a familiar building.

Naturally she wasn't home. To make matters worse it seemed that she wasn't even in the city; the notice on the newsstand stated that she was off following a story further south. Regardless of where she was it wasn't in Randgriz, and he was left with few options with her gone.

"Just great." He sighed, looking over the note again, hoping that somehow it would say something different if he read it over multiple times. No such luck, though he had to admit he was pleased that he wasn't panicking. After what happened when he tried to find Catherine he had expected to react much worse, "Okay, so I'm back to not knowing anyone here or where to go. So…what do you do Cezary?"

"I would assume that the first thing you should do is stop talking to yourself." The voice caught him off guard, enough that he was pretty sure that he jumped a few feet before risking a look over his shoulder. He immediately recognized the man. It was surprising considering his faulty memory, but he had seen him before, albeit only briefly in a fever dream. Before he hadn't been sure if that was a memory, or just a hallucination from the cold and starvation. However Catherine had mentioned his name so he was fairly certain that he knew this man.

He had remembered Knute as rather clean looking for a soldier, and personally thought that his looks and attitude made him seem somewhat like a weasel. He realized that if that had been true it wasn't any longer. The man he saw with an amused smile looked nothing like the one he had heard himself talk to in the dream. The first thing he noticed was that he had been wounded rather severely during the war. From the looks of it he had been hit all along the right side of his body. He was leaning on a cane in his left hand; he probably still had shrapnel or bullet fragments in his leg. His right arm simply ended at the elbow, and his face bore several deep scars. And yet despite it all he seemed so very relaxed, and quite astonishingly didn't seem to be paying his injuries much heed.

Cezary wasn't sure what to say. He hadn't even thought one of his comrades would have been so badly wounded. Ragnaid was certainly hailed as a medical miracle, but it couldn't regrow limbs, or even entirely get rid of the worse of wounds. Suddenly the problems he had been worrying about before started to come to the forefront of his mind. Was this a good idea? Catherine and Marina had been trying to move on when he had set out to find them, and he had probably only made things worse. For someone like Knute who was as badly mangled as he was he could see something similar happening. Still, he had to say something, but the only thing he could manage was "Are you Knute?"

"Despite my appearance I assure you it is me. I suppose I could understand your surprise. The war was over and the unit disbanded before I could leave the hospital," he chuckled, then leaning in as to inspect Cezary's face, "However if Mrs. Koller is correct I would wager good money that you asked that because you do not remember me."

It came as a bit of a relief. There was finally someone who knew him who also knew about his condition so he wouldn't have to repeat his whole story about how he lost his memory. It saved him an explanation. He had been getting tired of repeating it, and it was nice to know that there was someone who had already been brought up to date on the matter. Though that left the question as to why Irene hadn't mentioned Knute to him before.

"I just wish Mrs. Koller had told me about you before you left Randgriz; though she was busy at the time with her latest story. I suppose I cannot fault her." He was liking Knute more by the minute. He knew he had amnesia, he had some sort of answer to his questions before they were even asked! He had to wonder if the man before him would just spontaneously give a full biography of his life.

"Come my friend, no need to look so confused." no such luck, still though Knute ranked up with Catherine for cheeriness, "I've been hoping you would return, and I'm pleased to see that we managed to cross paths. Though if you don't mind me asking how has your journey progressed?"

"Oh…uh not to well." He was having a hard time keeping up seeing as the man seemed to be moving at his own pace, which considering his physical injuries it was amazing that he could command a conversation so well, "That's not to say I haven't had any luck though! I found Catherine and Marina, and learned a bit from them. I still have a lot of questions. They filled me in a bit, but-"

"My friend you are going all over the place." Knute stated with a smile, "Perhaps you would care to join me? If you're looking for Mrs. Koller, judging from her stand she won't be returning for some time. And I believe a walk would help you clear your thoughts. I admit that I perhaps startled you."

"A little yeah, but that'd be great." Knute was a strange man at first glance, but Cezary wasn't about to question the stroke of luck that had come his way. Besides, he had obviously known him during the war, and apparently had been good friends if his faulty memory and Catherine's own recollections were any indication. It wasn't much, but for once fate had dropped something into his lap.

Knute led him through the city, surprisingly being able to keep pace despite the fact that he was limited to one good leg. One thing Cezary noticed throughout was that he was leading him though the more upper-class potions of the city. However, while Knute himself spoke rather politely, not to mention the fact that his cane looked rather expensive, he never got the impression that he was a very wealthy man, well-off and not lacking in money perhaps, but not enough that he'd be in the upper ranks of society. It was odd, despite having not seen him in years Knute was going on about what he had been up to since the end of the war, talking to him like they had known each other for years. It just didn't add up; from what he could tell usually people from different lifestyles like them didn't get along too well. Knute was well off, Cezary? He was from Barious, an area not exactly known for rich families.

Then there was the injuries he had sustained, and it made things all the stranger. He kept thinking back to Catherine and Marina, both entirely healthy yet they both forcibly isolated themselves because of their experiences in war. Knute on the other hand had been wounded badly to the point that he was physically disfigured for the rest of his life, and yet he seemed entirely okay with it. It seemed so contradictory, but then again from what he had heard of his life Cezary thought the same thing about himself. One thing was for sure though; he did want to find out more about this man. He was an interesting individual to say the least.

"Ah, but I wish Mrs. Koller had reminded me that she would not be around. I do not mind the walk, but she should remember…Cezary are you okay?" He realized he had been lost in his own thoughts again. It seemed to happen all too often. They had apparently ended up at a cafe. Knute was looking a bit concerned as he sat down. Cezary realized that he was gripping the back of a seat himself, and quickly sat himself down. He had to wonder if his head injury had anything to do with it. After all if had been through a war he doubted that he would have survived if he kept drifting off like he did.

"Sorry, just lost in my thoughts, happens now and then." He admitted as he sat down. It only served to get an amused smirk from his old friend.

"Interesting, you weren't one to drift off in the middle of a conversation. I suppose that blow to the head was harder than I thought." He commented, "It is a shame, to have lived through all of that and now you can't even remember it all. Ah I apologize, I suppose I am rubbing salt into the wound."

"No, it's okay. I've heard a lot about the war, and I wish I could remember it," Cezary shrugged, " but even if I figure it all out it's still only one part of my life right?"

"I can't help you there I'm afraid. I met you in the field, and we have not spoken in two years." Knute rubbed his chin thoughtfully, "Though if what I remember is correct you didn't have much to say about your childhood. You grew up in a poor region, but still liked the desert. You liked the sights; I always found it strange that was what tied you there."

"Yeah Marina mentioned something similar, at least about being from the desert."

"In that case, perhaps we shouldn't be beating around the bush and I could tell you some of those war stories, unless you're uncomfortable talking about it." Cezary realized that he _was_ avoiding the subject, again Knute proved to be more knowledgeable of him than he was. He understood why almost immediately. Regardless of his cheerful demeanor Knute had been severely wounded. He kept going back to Catherine and Marina, two people who had someone barge into their lives as they were trying to recover from their experiences. What suppressed memories were lurking underneath that smile of his? And what would happen if he was forced to remember something he didn't want?

"Ah...no, it's just...well..." He tried to explain, only to feel a bit reluctant to bring up the obvious. For his part Knute seemed to take it in stride.

"Ah yes, the elephant in the room I suppose." He chuckled, looking down at where his arm ended, "I don't suppose I would look like the person who wished to relive his experiences? Don't let it worry you. True, I came out of the war like this. I still have shrapnel in my body, and I had to learn how to write again, but don't worry about me. I've always been a man to keep in high spirits." he leaned in close, "I should also mention that my condition certainly helped in securing a bank loan. Would you be the one to deny a wounded veteran a chance to start his own business?" Knute laughed as sat back, "I am quite at peace with my life Cezary, and I'm not afraid to remember my time in the war."

"...High spirited huh? Yeah I have to admit you're one of the more optimistic people I've met." Cezary said, Have you always been that way?"

"From the start; a good businessman always finds new opportunities." Knute said, looking back down at his menu, "In fact I believe we talked about something along those lines when we first met. That was during the battle for the Kloden Wilderwood I believe..."

_Profit, it could be made anywhere at any time. And no one knew this better than Knute Jung. For instance the young Lieutenant Gunther was making a name for himself, and to be associated with him after this was all over would be nothing but a boon to future business. So Knute had pulled a few strings, bribed a few officials when he reported for militia duty, and was now an engineer in Squad Seven. Being an engineer also helped him make money. As an engineer he was able to assist the quartermaster and supply corps so he knew who got excess supplies and who didn't. He knew who to give a gift in order to 'transfer' a few boxes of food or ammunition to those who needed it, for the right price of course. Those, among many other little techniques made military service quite profitable._

_A combat situation was a little different. In combat Knute's priorities had to change. He was serving in the unit; he had to assist them when necessary. Thankfully as an engineer he tended to be regulated to more rearguard duties. No he was not clear of danger, after all he doubled as a medic or mine-clearer, but considering some of the troops he had to patch up he was one of the lucky ones. Also, any soldier appreciated the man who would hand him ammo or apply an larger ragnaid dose during a fight, it made him plenty of friends. So while it provided its share of danger, combat could also help his financial situation. On top of it all, Knute understood that as rearguard he was given the opportunity to relieve a dead soldier of unnecessary belongings. After all, the shocktroopers, scouts, and lancers had to move with the front. They had to pass over their dead enemies, Knute usually had a few minutes between advances to see what each one held. _

_In the case of Kloden he found himself inside a forward Imperial squad tent, obviously it had been a checkpoint to the supply depot up ahead. The battle had passed by and he was left with some time to see what was available. He wedged open one of the trunks: cigarettes were always popular as was Imperial chocolate, a ragnite field stove was often sought after, a wool blanket for those who had lost theirs. He even found a map case, obviously it had been an officer's or NCO's trunk; now it was Gallian intelligence. He rifled through, packing what he could into his satchel for later sale. No one else had stepped up to form a market, it was just another opportunity for him._

_"Hey, engy," The voice caused him to immediately stop. Knute was aware that the military had few enforced regulations on looting, but it was at least generally frowned upon to do it before the battle was over. He didn't like to antagonize people, and being caught red-handed like he was certainly wouldn't help his case. Slowly he turned around to see a young man standing at the tent flap, the long rifle slung on his shoulder marking him as a sniper, "My partner ran out of ammo. You have some to spare?"_

_"Ammo? Ah yes of course!" He all too gleefully replied, simply relieved that he wasn't going to be lectured. The sniper stepped into the tent, looking over the open trunk as he rummaged through his backpack for a spare box of ammo._

_"Ah, a field stove, been looking for one of these," Knute wasn't sure to be glad that this person had no qualms with taking from the dead, or angry that he had grabbed a high-demand item first._

_"Your bullets?" Instead he settled on just handing over the requested ammunition._

_"Right, thanks." The sniper turned to leave, but stopped before he got outside, "I don't think I've seen you before. You just join up?"_

_"Indeed. I am Knute Jung, engineer...and entrepreneur as you can see..." Knute nodded, motioning to his satchel. For his part the sniper managed a chuckle out of that._

_"Hey, not my place to argue. A dead imp has some good stuff." The sniper shrugged, "The name's Cezary, Cezary Regard. So an entrepreneur huh? You sell that stuff?"_

_"At a fair price naturally. I see no reason why I cannot earn a little on top of my pay." Knute said, already liking this man. He didn't seem like he minded what he was seeing._

_"Heh not a bad idea; at least you're making the best of it. Some of those guys...they say they're in it to 'defend Gallia' or 'glory' or some load of shit like that," Cezary snorted, "Between you and me? I'd rather be the lucky son of a bitch who gets to mop the floors at Randgriz Castle; though at least I have steady nerves and a good eye, otherwise I'd be up there right now._

_"Hm, strange that you would mention this to a complete stranger." Knute pointed out, "For all you know I'm one of those seeking glory in war."_

_"If that's the case then why are you back here looting the dead?" He had to admit that Cezary had a point on that one, "Hey if they want to gallantly charge into machine gun fire? Fine by me; less bullets come my way. You though? Come on, you're here because you have to be, but at least you're trying to get something out of it. I might've tried it myself if it weren't for the fact that I always have someone looking over my shoulder. At least you can work alone if you want to."_

_"So what exactly are you hoping to get out of this then?" _

_"Easy, if I get out of this alive I'll be happy," Cezary sighed, "Okay, and maybe if I can get out of it without pissing off half the squad. Either way I want to be alive when this is over."_

_"As do most of us." Knute replied, realizing that they would probably have to move soon. He could only spend so long before having to catch up with his team, "Though I suppose in your case you don't have to worry about any unnecessary distractions or goals ."_

_"I guess..." Cezary glanced over his shoulder, apparently thinking that it was time to go as well, though from the tone of his voice Knute guessed that there was something bothering him, "She's probably waiting for me...Sorry I need to catch up to my partner. Thanks for the bullets, I'll see you around. Keep alive until then." he exited the tent, jogging into the trees before whirling around, "And save a few packs of cigs for me would you?"_

_"...Quite the character." Knute said to himself as he started up the path, "Cezary Regard was it? I suppose I'll be seeing you more often from now on." _

_A friend was always nice to have around. If not for the camaraderie, then for the connections. Not to mention the fact that Cezary had little care for how he acquired his goods, and was willing to pay._

_When it concerned profit, any help was good._

"Survival, I hear that a lot." Knute stopped mid-sip of his coffee, a querying eyebrow raised at the comment, Cezary just leaned back in his seat staring off at the sky, "Sorry, I've just heard that a few times, and it's hard to justify it to myself even though I was willing to help out apparently."

"You shouldn't have to justify your actions to yourself." Knute said, "By your own admission you don't know what you were thinking at the time, nor do you remember your motivations and emotions. Perhaps your desire to do nothing other than live was for a more noble cause than any of us know. You certainly didn't speak of your home very much. All I can say is that I did not find you to be a terrible man. You certainly had your fair share to say about our squad, but I don't believe you truely _hated _anyone...well except maybe some of our Darcsen members, but even then you kept your antagonizing to a minimum, most of the time..."

"I see that isn't helping matters." he noticed, "Allow me to ask this. You spoke with some others correct?"

"Yeah, Catherine and Marina." Cezary said, "Cahty, she seemed to think pretty well of me, enough that she put me as her second within the snipers. Marina...I did save her once, but she wasn't very happy when she saw me. The thing is I think she was the most honest person I've met. It just feels like anyone I meet is just pitying my memory loss and trying to comfort me. Knute I just want to know what kind of person I really was. I just want to know who was Corporal Cezary Regard?"

"Naturally, but O'Hara was just was honest with you as Wulfstan." Knute smiled, "I will be blunt here; you may never truly find out who you were assuming you never regain your memories. However, like everyone else we fought with you left an impression upon the members of the squad. When you meet them, even if you are correct and they are humoring you what they say is still affected by how they remember you. If they are trying to make you seem better then it's likely they remembered you fondly."

"Maybe, but I just can't shake it."

"It's understandable considering you have no memories." Knute continued to provide explanation, "Our personalities and outlooks on life are shaped by our past experiences. Without them you cannot be sure of how to act. Perhaps this doesn't help you. If not then I assure you that I am trying my best to be honest with you."

"Appreciated..." he had to chuckle, "You're really good at reading people do you know that?"

"Of course." Knute returned the smile, "As I said to you when we first met I am an entrepreneur. One does not succeed in business if they don't know how to read emotions. I studied a bit of psychology just for that reason. It certainly helped me in poker games."

"Yeah I bet." Cezary thought back to the short flashback he had back on the mountains. The thought of it suddenly made him remember something Catherine had mentioned to him, something she had found just hilarious, "Actually...there's something I've been meaning to ask. When I was talking to Cathy she said that we pulled something off at Naggiar?"

"Oh yes!" Knute's eyes lit up, "I know exactly what she's talking about. In fact I'd say that it might be a bit of the answer you're looking for."

"Remember that your personal survival was your number one goal, to the point that you would go to any ends to ensure it" he leaned in, a mischievous grin on his face, "However, there were quite a few times when it happened to coincide with all of our general health. Naggiar is the perfect example of that."

"Well what happened?"

"Ah...You know to this day I consider it our finest hour." Knute began, "We had only just arrived a day earlier..."

_"Hey! Knute!" Knute didn't like the fact that someone was talking to him. Considering that the lights were out in the bunker he was pretty sure that it was still night time. Setting up had been exhausting enough, and he had patrol in the morning. He wanted to sleep so he tried to ignore his assailant, Maybe if he pretended to still be asleep he would be left alone. The hand grabbing and shaking his shoulder told him that this was wishful thinking, "Knute, wake up I need your help!"_

_"Cezary I assure you that I am incapable of procuring a tank before morning." he muttered, again hoping that his friend would go to sleep himself so the both of them could get some rest. No such luck_

_"I'm not asking that. I need your help with something so get dressed." Cezary whispered forcefully, Knute could picture him nervously looking over his shoulder, "Look help me out and you stand to make something on the side okay?"_

_Naturally talk of money forced him out of his half-asleep state. Knute finally looked over his shoulder, acknowledging his friend, "You're up? Good, get dressed and meet us outside."_

_Part of Knute wanted to go back to sleep after he left, but he was sure that if he tried Cezary would be back in a few minutes and the cycle would continue until he finally relented. Plus he had to admit it was rare to see the sniper so insistent about something. The fact that there was money involved in this was merely icing on the cake. So after a minute of tossing about in his bunk Knute finally got up, hastily threw on his uniform and headed outside. _

_It was a chilly night, natural for the autumn weather. Shivering a bit in the breeze, he buttoned up his field jacket, thankful that he had the foresight to 'be issued' one before deployment. As he did so he heard someone else nearby. Looking around the corner he saw Kevin shivering on one of the narrow benches that lined the trenches. So Cezary had recruited him as well he thought what exactly was he planning? Kevin didn't seem armed either so it was unlikely that he was leading them on some cross trench raid, which seemed completely unlike him to begin with, but considering where they were it was always one of those possibilities. _

_"Good, you're up." Cezary poked his head around the corner, "Come on I have a truck waiting."_

_"Before I agree to this what exactly is your plan?" Knute asked, walking over to the pair. As he did so he noticed something was off about his friend in the faint blue light of the trench lamps, "Cezary...since when were you promoted?"_

_The fact that he was wearing a lieutenant's uniform was offsetting. Either he had stolen it or the army was lacking in its officer selection. And it was an army uniform. Already this plan involved him dressing above his rank and outside his service. Last time Knute had checked he was pretty sure that was a fairly significant offense. And here he was as an accessory to it. _

_"Look, just follow me, I'll explain on the way." he insisted. Kevin, as though he already knew immediately got to his feet and started to follow; of course that could have also been as a way to keep himself warm. Knute looked back at the bunker, once more trying to decide whether sleeping or follow was the better idea. Sadly he already knew he was going to follow. Cezary wasn't usually so bold as to steal an officer's uniform. Plus whatever was about to happen would be interesting to say the least. With a sigh and dreading what he would be feeling in the morning Knute followed the two._

_He led them well to the back of the trench lines where just as he had promised an empty supply truck awaited them. It was an army truck as well. How Cezary had managed to acquire one of them was a mystery itself. Something told him that it wouldn't be the last time that they were taking things they weren't supposed to this night. Still he was committed now so he had no choice but to climb into the driver's seat as he was instructed. _

_"Get us to 1st Division's camp." Knute obeyed as directed as he started up the truck. He knew he was right, Cezary just asked him to drive them right into the middle of General Damon's troops. This was going to end very well he could tell._

_"If you don't mind me asking now, what exactly are we doing out here?" he finally asked, something he should have done a long time ago._

_"Yeah, we...we could get in trouble for this." Kevin nodded in agreement. Cezary just grinned like everything was going according to plan._

_"Just relax guys. Look, I was talking with one of 1st Division's lieutenants a while ago. He told me that there's a shipment of new weapons coming in from Randgriz. Top of the line stuff fresh out of the factory."_

_"He told you this?" Knute asked. An army officer telling that information to a militia corporal seemed unlikely at best, especially one from Damon's own forces._

_"Well there were one or two bottles of liquor involved. Cost me a week's pay." Cezary shrugged, "But here's the catch. Damon's only issuing them to his troops. he wants to make sure they're well equipped for the 'dangers' they'll be facing in battle." even Kevin rolled his eyes at the last comment. Damon tended to be the farthest away from danger when it happened._

_"Am I to assume that the liquor is also where you got your new rank?" Cezary chuckled at that._

_"Hey, he was asleep so I thought I'd help myself. I always thought I'd look good in one." he laughed, "I had to make sure that it'd work though so I stopped by the motor pool and requisitioned this truck. No one even questioned me."_

_"That's all well and good, but what's the plan then?"_

_"Easy, Knute you work with the quartermaster so you know the procedures to get to the supplies. Get us there and ask to get in, then we...stock up a bit."_

_"You mean steal Damon's supplies?" Kevin stammered, the idea sounded ridiculous just hearing it._

_"Just enough to outfit the squad." Cezary corrected him, "It's not like 1st Division will miss a few guns. And if they do so what? It's not like they'll need them when the time comes. They have plenty as is!"_

_"Is this another ploy to get out of the fight?" Knute had to ask, "because I heard that you and sergeant-"_

_"Yeah I know," Cezary sighed, obviously annoyed that his cowardice kept coming back to him, "Look I know I'm going to be out there tomorrow with the rest of you, but I was thinking earlier this evening if I'm going to make it I need to be equipped with the best stuff we have. It's a damned trench war, us grunts have how good a chance out there? If I'm going to be put my ass on the line then I think I deserve every little chance I have to live through it. If that means raiding army supply depots then fine."_

_"You are aware that if we're caught then we'll most likely be sitting in a cell for the rest of our lives?" he heard himself say it, but truthfully Knute thought that the sniper had a point. Why didn't they deserve the best if they were going to be put out in harms way? _

_"Yeah, great, you know how much I care." his friend grunted, lighting up a cigarette, "If you don't want it then I'll just grab something for myself. I figured the squad would be at least a little bit grateful for some new equipment."_

_"Yeah, I guess it would be nice..." Kevin echoed Knute's own thoughts, "I head Rosie saying that our guns were getting a bit worn down. I'd like a new one...though what if we get caught?"_

_"Kevin, I think we can safely blame Cezary for this one if we're caught." he replied, "I suppose some new stock would be nice. I assume we'll grab enough that I could sell the leftovers to other squads?"_

_"There's the Knute I know." Cezary laughed again, "Come on Kev, I think if my worst option is getting thrown into a cell this is a win-win situation."_

_Kevin had been getting better at standing up for himself, months of combat did wonders at hardening a man, but he was still swayed a little to easily still. Though perhaps he didn't need swaying, after all Knute had to admit that Cezary was on to a pretty good idea. If they could get in and out then they stood to gain a lot. I quick risk assessment told him that the benefits were increased chances for survival and possible profit with the risks being getting caught, thrown in jail, and affecting his business opportunities at a later date. Of course if he died at Naggiar then future ventures were a moot point._

_They drove the few miles to Damon's camp the conversation mostly being Cezary convincing Kevin that everything would work out every few minutes. It wasn't very busy, but then again it was one in the morning. Despite the lack of sleep it was a good time to try this. Their only obstacle? A single soldier guarding the supply tent as they backed up. Calming himself Knute prepared to try his luck._

_"Good morning!" he said cheerfully after stepping out of the truck, "I am Private First Class Knute Jung reporting for a supply transfer."_

_"A supply transfer? I haven't heard of one any time soon. You sure you got the right camp?" the guard asked, this obviously wasn't going well._

_"Certain. First Division? A new shipment just came in I believe?" Knute tried to play the part well enough, hoping that Cezary would step in seeing as how the guard wasn't budging._

_"Yeah, but what are you doing here at this hour? Where are you orders?" now it was bad. There were no formal orders. Knute could keep a straight face, but he didn't have the materials to forge army papers._

_"Jung! What's taking you so long!" the man who stepped out of the truck wasn't someone he had met. Oh sure it looked like Cezary, but that man never acted like he was actually someone with authority, "We have to get these guns moved so why are we not backed in yet?"_

_"Uh...sir! Sorry, but I'm having some trouble." he stammered, half because he realized that he needed to act his part, and half still out of surprise._

_"What's going on now?" Cezary angrily crushed a cigarette underneath his boot and approached the guard, "Private why am I standing here and not inside that tent?"_

_"Sir! I hadn't received any orders for a supply transfer sir!" thankfully the guard didn't seem the type to question someone in an officer's uniform._

_"Orders? Orders!" Cezary could certainly play the part, "Private I was told by General Georg von Damon to get these supplies distributed to the right people and to do so before dawn. Now if you want orders I can go wake him up and get him over here personally." now the late night raid made even more sense. Damon was the type of man who got to sleep at the same time every night, and did not like to be woken, "Now I don't know about you private, but I don't want to wake that man at this hour. But if you need your orders..."_

_"Uh...yes...yes sir!" the private nodded, obviously aware of the consequences of angering the general, "Just...uh...make sure that you get them to us tomorrow!"_

_"Now that's a good kid." Cezary smiled, patting him on the shoulder, "Jung! Get that truck in there and get to work!"_

_Knute had to hold back his smile as he climbed back into the driver's seat, finally getting where they needed to be. He had to admit that was well done. Cezary had played on the soldier's own fears and weaknesses, and had acted his part better than he would have imagined. And thanks to his efforts they now had access to their goal. He had managed to solve the biggest problem of getting in._

_"Cezary I swear I'll make a decent businessman out of you by the time this is all over." it just about summed up his thoughts when he met his friend inside. _

_"Hey I learned from the best bullshitter in Squad Seven." he grinned right back, "Now come on let's load up what we can."_

_They had a full variety of weapons. Knute was impressed; this was indeed brand new equipment. New rifles, grenades, lances, and he had even found a few crates of new armor plates for their field uniforms. Kevin, initially wary of the whole thing seemed pleased when he found the new shocktrooper weapons, including the new flame-thrower attachments for the submachine guns. On top of that they managed to grab some extra crates of ragnaid, a few barrels of ragnoline, and even some extra rations. Every little bit counted. If he was exhausted from unloading before loading these new supplies were pushing his limits, but it would be worth it if all went well. They worked for an hour straight stuffing as much as they could into the truck, probably loading it far more than what it was rated for. The whole time he expected someone to come in demanding to know what they were doing. he imagined the three of them in chains for theft, and how he was going to get out of it. But that person never came. Somehow luck was on their side, and that one inquisitive person who could have ruined it all never showed up. They had stuffed the truck full and it was time to go._

_"We did it!" Kevin pretty well summed up the mood after 1st Division's camp was out of sight, "I can't believe we got all that stuff!"_

_"What did I tell you?" Cezary joined in, lighting up another cigarette in celebration, "We just grabbed enough supplies to last us the rest of the damn war!"_

_"Masterfully done." Knute nodded, trying his best not to burst out in fits of giggling, "I admit the loss of sleep will be worth it. We will just need some extra coffee in the morning."_

_"Yeah, but we still have to unload all of this." Kevin groaned, "My legs are sore enough." it was a small price to pay for everything that they had now. New supplies would be well accepted by the squad. And Damon wouldn't dare take them back. After all if it was discovered that he had 'distributed' his brand new weapons to the militia it would make him look better compared to if he just walked into the supply depot and took everything back. That reporter in the squad would tear him apart, and Damon was a man who relied on his reputation. As much as Knute hated to hear propaganda for once it had worked in their favor. _

_They arrived back at their own supply depot shortly enough. Despite being as tired as they were the three of them got out and prepared to set down their goods. They would worry about handing them out after they had gotten some sleep. Setting up a corner Knute started to pull the first box of rifles out of the back, silently telling his body to just hold out for a little while longer._

_"Cezary Regard!" the voice made his blood freeze. He could see Kevim immediately shirk away, as though hiding behind the boxes would either make him shrink or become invisible. And Cezary, Knute couldn't quite tell what he looked like. His expression was that a dog would make when it's owner found out that it had relieved itself in a place it ought not. it was the expression of a child caught with his hand in a cookie jar. And at the same time he tried, oh how he tried to make it look like he was expecting it the whole time. His acting skills had left him; he was now just a startled and frightened man trying to face an angry Sergeant O'Hara._

_"One unconscious army lieutenant, one truck missing, and why am I not surprised that you're behind this?" she was angry, Knute could tell. he had to wonder if their superiors all knew about this or if she was acting on her own. He hoped for his own sake that it was the latter. He tried to keep still, like a small rabbit hiding from a predator. Maybe she wouldn't see him. Unlikely, snipers had good eyes._

_"Do you care to tell me why you decided to leave your bunker?" she asked, advancing menacingly at him. Cezary was backing up, his words caught in his throat as he tried to avoid the wrath of his angry superior, "Do you want to tell me why you're in a lieutenant's uniform? Do you want to tell me why I shouldn't have you strung up for whatever you've been up to?"_

_Cezary found himself backed into the truck. He obviously wanted to crawl under it, but Catherine was right on top of him, looking like she was about to dispense her own version of justice. He groped madly behind him, finally grabbing the top of the box. Grabbing at the lid he blindly threw it off and grabbed the contents inside. Was he planning on bludgeoning her to death? Knute suddenly wished he had thought this through. They had gotten in and out of Damon's camp easily, yet none of them had apparently thought of what would happen if their own squad had caught them._

_"A rifle for your silence?" it sounded so pathetic. Cezary held up one of the new GSR rifles they had taken, like an ancient peasant making an offering to a god in hopes that they would not be struck down. It shouldn't have worked, but it made Catherine pause for just a moment. And that loss of initiative was all it took._

_"P-please don't be angry, we were just trying to help!" surprisingly it was Kevin who spoke up first, "W-we just wanted everyone to be safe so we-we took what we did!"_

_"Yes, they were being hoarded by the army, Damon in particular" Knute nodded in agreement trying to keep her off balance, throwing in the general's name probably helped matters. Like most of Squad Seven Catherine had little love for the head of the army, "And it was Cezary's idea that the squad be better equipped if we were to be fighting on the front." he left out the part about the sniper's own motives for keeping himself alive._

_"Y-yeah he just wanted to keep everyone safe!" Kevin said._

_"...Is this true?" She wanted to be angry. Knute knew that Catherine wanted to be angry, but her softer side was winning out. _

_"...Ye-...Yeah..." Cezary managed to say. Catherine hesitated again, her NCO training battling with the fact that she thought it was a good idea. Knute found himself holding his breath, as though any sudden noises or movement would bring the whole thing crashing down._

_"...I want this truck out of here and you out of that uniform." she said, her sergeant's voice coming through, "And I want to see you in an hour." he liked that part, her human side had won out after all. They now had an hour to get unloaded and get the truck out of here, "Knute and Kevin! You are not supposed to be out of your bunkers past lights out! I want you back in there do I make myself clear?"_

_"Yes sergeant." they replied in unison. Now was not the time to argue. Catherine gave them three of them one more look of anger before turning away._

_"And Knute I really wish the quartermaster would remember which supplies went to which division. There won't be time to return any of this before tomorrow you know." she added._

_"Ah...I apologize sergeant. I will inform the supply corps of this mishap." Knute tried to keep himself from smiling. Translated: they were getting off light. Catherine O'Hara was ultimately a good person, and she saw the value in their actions. Oh they weren't getting off the hook, she would find some way to unofficially punish them, but it was worth it._

_"...Kevin...I think I owe you my life..." Cezary said after she had left. He was still frozen in place, though his hands now empty of a rifle, "And I don't think I'll need any coffee tomorrow. I have enough andrenaline to last me a few weeks...Okay guys...let's get this thing emptied and out of here."_

It was ridiculous. It made no sense for him to have done that. It required him to be something he was pretty sure he never was. And yet Cezary found himself in fits of laughter as the whole story slowly sank in. It was just the sheer insanity of it all; sneaking into an army camp and looting their supply tent? It made no sense, and yet the more he thought about it the more it was all he could do to breathe normally. He had to wonder if that's what Catherine had felt when she recalled her side of the story. His friend seemed to expect it, calmly sipping his coffee until he calmed down

"You're kidding." was all he could say, "You're saying that _I_, the guy who didn't care about anything but living, managed to get a group together, fake being an officer, steal a truck, and take supplies right under the nose of the army?"

"It is the entire truth." Knute replied, "You don't give yourself enough credit, you were a clever man when you needed to be."

"I don't believe it."

"Naturally, it must seem outrageous." he said, "But I assure you, as sure as I am that I no longer have an arm you did exactly what I just described. Like I said, I consider it our finest hour in that war."

"So what happened next?" Cezary had to ask. If this was true he had to hear what happened afterwards.

"Well as I recall you were still scrubbing toilets when I woke up the next morning. Though I don't believe Sergeant O'Hara reported you, or any of us." Knute leaned back, apparently trying to collect his thoughts, "That being the case no one knew who exactly had placed crates of weapons inside our supply tents, but they certainly appreciated them. We went to the front in high spirits that day, probably our best mood until we won that battle. Now they may not have known, but it didn't stop me from letting the rumor get out of who exactly had pulled it off."

"Amazing...I just wish I could remember it." Cezary sighed. It did seem like an incredible thing to do, and was probably the best thing he had heard about himself since he came out of that coma, but being told the story was one thing, being able to recall his own mind at the time was entirely different.

"It may return some day, and I know that this is not what you were hoping for, but as I said before Cezary your memories may also never come back. It pains me to say it but you will have to draw your own conclusions from what you hear, and not hope that it will all just come back some day." Knute said as he pulled out his wallet. Cezary knew he had a point. He had fragments of his memories, he knew that. The fact that he had remembered Knute to being with was because of a fever dream was evidence of that. But even then those seemed like he was watching through someone else's eyes rather than his own.

"I guess, at least I can hold my head a bit higher though, right?" Still he had to admit that Knute had certainly made him feel better about himself, "I never would've expected that I pulled off something like that."

"Of course not, you were quite the bastard at times." Knute grinned, "But you were a bastard who knew when to pull through. You might have claimed to not care, but it's as you told me; you didn't want the squad to hate you."

"I suppose." Cezary stretched as Knute retrieved his cane and rose to leave.

"Now then I suppose the man with no memory does not have much money either?" he asked, "While I won't consider myself a charity I would be glad to give a friend a room for the night. Would you care to join me?"

"I haven't turned anyone down yet." Cezary replied, standing up himself. With a nod Knute set off with him in tow. He couldn't help but he in a better mood. Perhaps it wasn't so odd. For once he had seen the good side of himself. He had met an old friend who seemed to have a great understanding of him, a man with no regrets about his life. It was strange the one who was permanently wounded from the war was the most willing to talk about it, but it was a stroke of luck he was not about to question. Maybe there was another side of him that he wouldn't like, but at least he had someone like Knute Jung to talk with.

Either way it was shaping up to be an interesting day.

A/N: So as I've figured out, I'm terrible at trying to write during the summer. One of many reasons why I haven't updated in awhile. It's a bit frustrating considering that I know roughly how I'm going to finish this, but one chapter at a time I suppose. Thankfully with the winter months coming and having finally gotten VC2 I'm a bit more inspired to continue writing. Hopefully this means a better update schedule than...good lord five months? Yeah that is inexcuseable. I'll work on improving that. Come hell or high water, I finishing this thing, and in a good way; not the whole rushed ending thing. That was the thing that angered me the most about some of the character's endings in the game. I'd hate to end up doing the same thing myself.


	9. Chapter 9

If there was one thing that Cezary had gotten used to in his travels it was waking up in someone else's home; he liked the fact that he didn't need to question where he was every time he woke up. This was no different. In fact he was rather pleased to have woken up in a bed that was meant for him; it wasn't someone else's only bed, it wasn't a train car, wooden floor, or the dirt for that matter. No, this was a guest bed in Knute's home; fresh sheets, a soft mattress, he couldn't remember the last time he had slept like that before.

_Right, Doctor Engel. _He mused as he got up. Unlike then though at least now he was able to stand under his own power. It was nice being in a modern home again. Sure the mountains had looked nice, but the weather was still chilly, and there was a huge difference between a home heated by a wood stove compared to one with a ragnite heating system. More importantly Knute had a proper bathroom with an actual shower! He hadn't realized it before, but days of neglect had not done him well. Washing off that filth felt great, getting a proper shave in felt great. Overall, for once he actually felt good.

_Which probably means that something is about to go wrong. _It was odd, from what he knew of himself he had been a cynic, and even without his memories he found himself falling into that habit, wondering what the next stroke of bad luck would bring. Perhaps his experience finding Catherine had done it; maybe it was how troubled both Marina and she had been. He really didn't want to assume that every day would just bring new problems to the surface, but he kept slipping into that mindset despite his current situation. In fact Knute had been just the opposite of what he had expected. He was wounded, and yet kept his head held high. He was a seemingly eternal optimist, and still remained a good friend after the war.

Of course by his own admission Knute was also a businessman. The man had regaled him with war stories yesterday, probably the most Cezary had heard since trying to find his squad. But that had been cut short when he had been called away because of an issue in construction of his casino. Oh certainly he apologized, and had promised to talk more, but he was Knute; the man was married to his work apparently. Cezary didn't hold it against him, not after the hospitality he had been shown. Besides, the time alone had given him a chance to actually think and process what he had been told. It gave an idea as to where to start today. First things first though, he was hungry.

"Ah, good morning. Did you sleep well?" Despite having gotten back late Knute was already up when he made his way to the dining room.

"Better than I have in awhile." Cezary accepted the offered cup of coffee (yet another wonderful luxury he had missed in the mountains), "I don't think I've ever been in a house that has guest rooms. You've really done well for yourself, haven't you?"

"I suppose you could thank the militia for that." Knute smiled, "A few items sold here and there add up over the course of an entire war. A well secured loan afterwards only improves matters. Sadly though it also means I must attend to my work even when it is inconvenient. I hope my leaving yesterday didn't bother you?"

"Oh no, don't worry about." he waved off his friend's worries, "Knute, finding you has been the biggest stroke of luck I've had since waking up. I only wish I could repay you-"

"Think nothing of it. I would do the same for any of my old squad," he answered cheerfully. He took a sip of coffee, and then seemed to think of something else, "Of course, I suppose helping you hasn't required anything that needs to be repaid."

"Repaid? You _are _a businessman aren't you?"

"Heh heh, I suppose I could be seen as cold..." Knute admitted, "But money is what makes the world turn. If I had enough I would gladly give it away to help my friends. However, I do not at the moment. Ask me again in a year, and perhaps things will be different. But that it neither here nor there; regardless I am happy to be of assistance. So am I to assume I should begin where I left off?" he asked, switching the subject.

"Actually, since you brought it up, there has been something I've been wondering." Knute's expression silently asked him to go on, "I've heard alot about the war. It's how we knew each other, it makes sense, but...well I've heard about the battle at Naggiar, but I know there were battles after that, right?"

"Ah, I see..." Knute's eyes drifted down towards what remained of his arm, "Yes, you would be correct. In fact there were two more important battles before the war ended. Unfortunately I wouldn't be able to tell you about them. I'm afraid I was hospitalized before we reached the Ghirlandaio fortress."

"Oh, uh sorry if I brought up something you didn't want to think about." Cezary mentally kicked himself, great he had just brought up another painful memory. There was that bad luck coming back to haunt him.

"A painful memory to be sure, but you should not assume that I do not want to talk about it." Knute's demeanor never changed. Either he wasn't troubled by it, or he was good at hiding his emotions. Either one was equally plausible, "I assumed that the subject would come up eventually. After all, you cannot look at me without wondering. My wounds are not easy to hide; I've had to explain them. I even was able to get a few drinks out of it before so you should not worry about offending me. The real question is would you like to hear about it?"

"Well...er yes if you don't mind." now Cezary just felt flustered at being called out like that. The man had a way with words.

"Good, because it involves you." Knute's smile reappeared, as though he had been waiting the whole time for him to ask, just to tell this story, "This was shortly before we reached Ghirlandaio, the Imperial army was not making out advance an easy one..."

* * *

_Assaulting the Ghirlandaio region was a difficult proposition. Coming off of the Naggiar plains, they still had the tall grass covering the lowlands that provided ample spots for ambush and traps. However, lining the lands leading to the fortress itself was a mountain range that jutted out in such a way to form a natural corridor, funneling the militia into a predictable path. Increasingly hilly terrain covered with fields of grass and dotted with boulders marking the foothills of the mountains meant advancing was a slow process to say the least._

_For Knute the advance meant that he got a lot more training in the medical aspect of his job. Ragnaid was in high demand, and he had to scramble to make sure that his squad got what was necessary to continue at their pace. Though the more he thought about it the more he realized how lucky he was. They were at the tip of the armored thrust to retake the fortress, but he didn't even want to think what the army's mountain divisions were facing on their flanks. At least the militia had armor support and had a much easier time evacuating wounded to the rear lines. If the Imperials were fighting as bitterly in the mountains as they were on the plains he didn't even want to imagine the conditions those soldiers were in._

_The engineer also had no time for musings; when in battle he had to keep focused. Actually that wasn't quite true. They were technically engaged, but at the moment that engagement consisted of staring down an Imperial unit holed up in some rocky outcroppings and waiting for artillery support. Still since they were waiting that meant the engineers had time to distribute supplies and tend to any injuries, which was exactly what he was trying to do at the moment._

_He had to keep his head down, but at the same time had to figure out where he was going. Most of the squad was laying in the grass, only a few movements here and there giving away their positions. Spotting them was difficult enough, finding the sniper pair was something he'd normally assume was next to impossible. Still, word had reached him that Cezary had asked for a medic, and a few questions and points in the right direction eventually got him to the team._

_He had to crawl slowly, he was close to the front of the lines and didn't feel like getting picked off by an Imperial sharp shooter, nor did he want to give away the position of his own people. They were patient enough, Cezary's only indication that he noticed him was an ever so slight turn of his head as he approached._

_"Easy Knute, try not to move the grass around too much." he turned to sight down his scope again._

_"Apologies, have you had much trouble today?" Knute asked as he stopped next to the sniper._

_"Nah, picked off a few of them about an hour ago. They haven't stuck their heads back up since. Just hope they're not waiting for help." Cezary remarked flatly before getting to the point, "So you're our medic?"_

_"I suppose so, though you do not look too injured." _

_"Nah, as if I'd ever be that lucky; it's him." Cezary motioned slightly to his side. He looked over at his partner, the young Bielert was laying still, covered by camouflaged netting, also sighting down his rifle._

_"I'm fine." he insisted, though even Knute could tell that he was breathing a bit more heavily than normal, and saw a thin layer of sweat on his face. The boy was stubborn, but his body was acting up again._

_"Sure, and you missed those last two shots because you felt sorry for the Imps." Cezary grunted, never breaking his view into his scope, "He needs a bit of ragnaid, just make sure to do it under the netting."_

_"I told you I'm fine!" Emile insisted, but Knute knew better and moved along to his position._

_"We may have supply troubles, but that is no reason to push yourself." he pulled out a ragnaid capsule, and slid it under the netting. A saw the dull blue glow indicating that it was working. Emile seemed relieved as well, breathing a contented sigh and visibly relaxing as the capsule's light dulled the pain and relaxed the spasming muscles, "Keep an extra capsule with you in case this happens again. There is no need for you to collapse when you are needed most."_

_"...Thanks Knute." well at least the young man could admit when his elders were correct._

_"Normally I would charge for that so consider yourself lucky." he smirked, "So is there anything else you two require while I am here."_

_"An artillery strike if you have it." Cezary snorted, probably meant as a joke, but even Knute couldn't hear the normal cynical tone in his voice,"Maybe get the dark-hair's tank up here and burn these Imps out. We already dropped some of their lancers, he could go to town on them. Eh, a box of ammo if you have it though. We might run out if we take pot shots at them all...Wait a minute, they're moving around behind those rocks a lot more."_

_Emile immediately peered through his scope, "Yeah, they haven't moved for awhile, what's going on?"_

_"Probably about to try something, hopefully running out and getting killed. Knute, think you could let the lieutenant know?" Cezary asked, now shifting to be in a better firing position._

_"Certainly, though I would think that you two aren't the only ones..." Knute fell silent as a distinct thump sounded, followed by two more. He didn't have to look as they were all used to such a sound, but glancing up he saw three blue streaks, ragnite accelerants burning off as the rounds arced lazily downward._

_"Mortars!" the warning echoed down the line as militia soldiers suddenly became visible, scrambling for cover as the rounds came crashing down. It wasn't safe here, that much was obvious; the Imperials had obviously been waiting for reinforcements, and now had supporting fire. Cezary and Emile were on their feet, now dashing back to the rear with him. Rounds were exploding all around them as the enemy mortar teams were getting into a rhythm. Knute would have been glad that none had landed near the three of them had he not risked looking over his shoulder to see another volley. _

_There was one part about facing mortars that Knute, and other soldiers he assumed, liked; they used ragnite to launch the explosive. As such they left a visible trail that allowed him to guess with reasonable accuracy where it would land. This time, he saw that it was going to land in front on them, in fact on them if they did not stop immediately._

_"Get down!" Cezary dropped immediately. Thankfully they had been through enough that when he was shouted an order he listened damn the rank, and certainly the same applied vice-versa. Emile however, maybe it was because he was still a boy, maybe he was still a bit off centered from his body acting up, whichever the case he just stopped, turned, and stared dumbly at the incoming round. _

_There was no time to argue; still on his feet himself Knute grabbed the boy by his collar and shoved him to the ground behind him. Harsh? Yes, but considering the alternative the boy could thank him later. However, as he had thrown Emile down he saw a flash of blue out of the corner of his eye. Any soldier's instinct was gone, replaced with simple survival reflex. Knute threw his arms up to protect his head just as the mortar burst._

_The next thing he knew he was on the ground, and that was about it.. Had he dove for cover? No, he was sure he had pushed someone else down first. Something hurt, no wait lots of parts hurt. Wait, why had he been running? Right, mortars. His ears were ringing, but he was sure he could feel nearby explosions reverb through his chest. Wait, was he moving?_

_Someone was talking, no shouting. He could make out a little of it, maybe his hearing wasn't as damaged as he thought. The ground felt rougher now, and had they gone down a short slope? He wasn't sure._

_"...ute!" wait, was someone calling his name. It almost sounded like someone was shouting through a pillow at him. He tried to focus on the voice, "Knute! Come on, not now!"_

_Ah, it was Cezary and he sounded worried. Perhaps worried wasn't the right word, terrified would be a better description. That wasn't good, it probably meant something bad had happened to understate the matter.. He also realized that he wasn't blind, his eyes were just closed. Given the situation it made sense. After all he wasn't sure how long he had been unconscious, though it couldn't have been long if the mortars were still falling. That being the case however he was pretty sure that it was probably a good idea for him to open them if only to get a sense of his surroundings, and to let his friend's know that he was okay._

_He instantly regretted doing that. He was trying to say something, but only ended up groaning as the sunlight shone directly into his vision as he opened his eyes. Out of reflex he raised his arm to block out the light. It was then that he noticed something was wrong, mainly there was nothing covering his eyes. His arm ended in a place where it ought to have not. In fact he felt something warm and sticky drip on the side of his face, and then the pain hit him. Knute, the man who prided himself on being able to keep a cool head at all times simply broke down screaming. He had to get out of here, wherever here was. he had to get to a hospital, a medic, anyone. He struggled to get up, only to be shoved down to his back, still screaming._

_"Shut up!" Cezary was yelling at him over the shell fire, and pinning him to the ground, "Knute! Come on, calm down, you're fine!" it was an obvious lie, not that he could really realize that over the pain. The only thing he knew was that he was being prevented from getting away from the danger, and thus even with his wounds he would give his friend a fight to get out of there. _

_Cezary was shouting something at Emile, even in his condition Knute could tell that the younger man disagreed with whatever it was that he said, something about the shrapnel in him. Cezary yelled something back, and apparently got what he wanted. It was hard to tell what was going on at first, but then the pain that was shooting through him started to subside, if only enough that he was able to focus on something other than getting out of there. The fact that there was a blue glow coming from somewhere made him realize that it was a ragnaid capsule. So that was what they had been arguing about. He also realized that Emile was afraid of the shrapnel wounds closing with the metal still inside. Well, considering the alternative if left untreated Knute figured he could accept that. . _

_"Knute! Knute listen to me!" Cezary forced him to look him in the eyes, difficult considering the blast had knocked off his glasses, "You'll be fine! You're not going to be like Kevin alright?"_

_He wanted to say something to reassure his friend as the sniper seemed to be trying to convince himself more than anyone else,, but he only managed to nod, which seemed to at least do the trick, "Good, just sit tight. That ragnaid will stop the bleeding, at least until we can get you to a medic." he was looking over the field (ah, they had dragged him into a shell hole, that's where they were!) just as the explosions renewed in force. No wait, they were further away, and Cezary looked overjoyed if anything, "The damn artillery's finally arrived! Come on, we're pulling you out while they have the Imps pinned down! Emile, give us some damn cover!"_

_Knute let himself be pulled to his feet, Cezary supporting him on his good arm, "Sorry, I'm afraid my shop will be closed for awhile." he finally managed to say something. It was a poor attempt at a joke, but the fact that he seemed willing to make one seemed to work as Cezary finally cracked a smile of his own._

_"Eh, don't worry about it, once we get back the war's over for you. Lucky bastard." Knute didn't have a chance to reply as he found himself being helped, almost entirely carried to the rear of the lines, the sounds of artillery fading in the distance._

* * *

It was hard to figure out what to say after hearing that. If anything Cezary was amazed that the man across from him could so casually relate a story as to how he was maimed. But on the other hand he already knew that Knute was the type of person who could easily talk about anything. And then there was his own actions. Every story about him just contributed to the fact that he barely had an idea of his former self. The first thing everyone talked about was his survival instinct. What he had just heard only reinforced that. But at the same time he had dragged a wounded man into cover, slowing himself down, which spoke of an almost entirely different person. There was one little aspect of that he had noticed though, mainly that said desire for survival included more of his squad as time went on. He had to wonder what eventually made him like that.

"And I thought _you _were lucky?" of course everything he said tended to indicate he just wanted out of the war. He had been a strange living contradiction.

"From what I recall I believe we were both trying to make light of the situation." Knute replied with a shrug, "My recollection is a bit hazy however. As you are well aware any head injury can have affects on your memory."

"Completely." Cezary absent-mindedly touched his bandaged head and decided to press on, "So was that it? I mean, was that the last you saw of me?"

"I am afraid so. As I just explained I was severely wounded. I was transferred to the nearest hospital, which was in Bruhl at the time. I spent the rest of the war there. by the time I had recovered we were already victorious. The unit was disbanded before I could get back. Sadly, I did not hear anything from you until yesterday." Knute took a sip of his coffee, "Of course the same can be said for others as well. But I suppose that's the nature of war. We fight together, and then scatter. Oh to be sure I've kept in touch with a few of our squad, but there are plenty who prefer to be left on their own. It's a pity really."

"Yeah, but it's probably the only way they can cope." he thought back to Catherine and Marina, two people unable to function in society because of what happened, "Though for what it's worth I'm sorry I wasn't able to keep in touch."

"No need to apologize, I only wish we could have met under better circumstances." Knute said, never breaking from his cheerful demeanor, "I suppose it would be nice to find out what you have been doing since the war ended, but I know that would be impossible now."

Cezary would have apologized, but he knew it would just be blown off. Whenever he did he was told not to worry about it. Plus it seemed like he was doing it a lot for someone who didn't necessarily know what he was apologizing for. If he knew what he had been doing since the war ended he might have had a reason to, but as it was it would be an empty gesture.

"Well if I ever find out, I'll be sure to tell you." he settled for that little assurance, "After everything you've told me it's the least I could do."

"A sound proposal if I ever heard one." Knute chuckled, it seemed to end the conversation right there as the two finished off their food. Cezary didn't mind, it gave him time to think over the story he had just been told. Something was off; not that he suspected Knute of lying, but he felt there was something he should have noticed earlier. It was bugging him, and he wanted to know what it was. It was odd that this one should stick out in his mind as opposed to the other stories that he had been told. He went over it in his mind, and then it hit him. It was something he had apparently said back then.

"Hey Knute?" he asked, reluctant to ask, "What did I mean when I said you weren't going to be like Kevin?" And then it happened. For the first time since they had met Knute hesitated. For just a moment he saw his demeanor shift to one that he knew he had seen before, from the two snipers he had met prior. He had found that memory that he didn't want to talk about, or maybe was afraid to bring it up, "I did it again didn't I?"

"Ah...no, no I just didn't realize that I had said that. I suppose I was caught in the moment." Knute regained his composure quickly enough, "Though it is a bit painful to bring up I admit."

"Then let's not talk about it." Cezary tried to be insistent about it. He had already dug up painful memories with Catherine and Marina, and most definitely did not want to do so now.

"No, we should." Knute however seemed to have other plans, "If you have not heard so already then it's best that you hear it from me."

"I think I already have an idea..." he felt a lump in his stomach. Knute just looked at his watch.

"You know it is too nice of a day to remain inside." he said as he got up, "Perhaps we should take a walk."

* * *

_Aside from their uniform the standard Imperial kit consisted of one leather belt, two ammo pouches, one canteen, one field knife, one rucksack, one blanket, one shaving kit, one pack of cigarettes, and one emergency ragnaid capsule. The rest tended to be clothing that most Gallians had no desire to own. Still, Knute always made sure to grab a few articles just in the off chance that there was someone who needed a new pair of socks or undershirt._

_"Hey Knute, hurry it up. You're supposed to be guarding them not looting their stuff." he regarded his friend for a moment before returning back to his work. Cezary, being one of his regular customers was usually more lenient of his habits in these situations._

_"I don't believe they will be going anywhere soon." getting a drop on an isolated Imperial patrol had been a stroke of luck, but it was Susie's insistence that they not kill them that had gotten their patrol some prisoners. The fact that they had not been shot meant that their equipment was intact. Their belongings would be taken from them anyway; the fact that they were still alive was of little consequence. It was hardly rude._

_"But reinforcements will get here soon enough, don't get caught doing it." something was off about him. Perhaps it was because help was slow to arrive. He glanced up, and saw Cezary looking out over the field through his binoculars, though apparently failing to see anything over the rolling hills. Help could be right over the next one and they wouldn't know._

_"Yeah come on Knute." he looked over at Kevin, who was pacing up and down the line of prisoners. The edginess in his voice seemed to reflect Cezary's mood. Kevin was always nervous though; it wasn't as though their reinforcements had vanished. They would have at least heard gunfire. The prisoners? They couldn't do much on their knees with their hands clasped behind their heads. What were those two so worried about?_

_"Knute, please, you shouldn't be stealing from them anyway." he sighed, you too Susie?_

_"Ms. Jenkins, where do you think most of that extra ragnaid I give to you comes from? Surely you have noticed the Imperial stamps on them?" he asked, and then turned to their prisoners, "And I suppose you gentlemen have issue with this as well?"_

_Most of them kept quiet, maybe thinking that answering would get them killed; all save for their commander, an middle aged noncom, just starting to go gray who replied, "If you don't steal my last pack of smokes then take whatever you want."_

_Knute smirked at that. Despite his situation the man just seemed relieved that his role in this war was done with. He might be a prisoner now, but it didn't seem to matter to him. The same couldn't be said of his comrades, but he seemed to be able to keep them in line. Very well, if that was the price paid he could accept the loss of a pack of cigarettes. He made a note to set aside one for the man as he went back to his work, quietly stuffing what he could into the single extra rucksack he would be carrying back. He wasn't quite sure all that he had taken in. But when he started to take inventory it happened. All he knew was that one moment he saw movement, and the next he heard Kevin cry out._

_He looked up, already reaching for his rifle. One of the Imperial soldiers had lunged at the shocktrooper, and managed to grab ahold of his gun. By the time he knew it they were already struggling. He could see Susie just now realizing what was happening. None of them had even thought of the possibility, and yet here it was happening. He had to help._

_He was slow though, just too slow. Even by the time he had got his rifle the trooper managed to yank the gun from Kevin's hands. Knute saw everything happen; a hard shove, the Imp leveled the submachinegun, a burst of fire, and a spray of red. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Cezary only now just turning, his hand fumbling for his sidearm. He saw Susie trying to cry out a useless warning. The now armed prisoner didn't skip a beat, he turned his weapon towards the highest ranked target, the sniper right in front of him._

_He didn't get the chance to fire. He was too focused on his target, obviously so or else he would have seen him coming. Knute brought about his rifle and smashed the butt right in his face. It must have rattled his brain as the trooper just dropped like a stone. His nose was broken and bloodied, but he was still alive judging from his groans.._

_"Kevin!" while he might have wanted Cezary to help him watch the prisoners he really wished he could turn around to maybe provide some aid for their fallen friend. But they had just attempted a break, and their negligence (and he already knew his own had been a not insignificant part of it) may have just cost their friend his life._

_"Stay down!" he snapped. Knute was a normally calm and courteous man, but right now he felt he had every right to let some of that anger show. Truthfully shooting them felt like a good idea at the moment, "If any of you try anything you will be shot. Eyes on the ground!" they complied, no one else apparently wanting to try and be the hero. _

_"Come on Kevin, stay with me! Hurry up with that ragnaid!" he risked a look over his shoulder. Susie was furiously looking through her pack for the larger ragnaid dose she carried. Cezary was trying to keep his friend conscious and stem the flow of blood. It was a futile effort. Three rounds, that was all it had been, but all three had hit him; one in the chest, one at the collar bone, and finally one had punched through his throat. Blood was gushing out, and the choking sounds coming from his friend made it clear it had gone through an artery and his windpipe. Ragnaid was a wonder drug, capable of healing plenty of wounds, but something like that? Knute turned away, it was over._

_"Kevin? Kevin! Come on, not now! You...you..." he tried to ignore it, tried not listen to Cezary breaking down. He just continued to stare coldly at the prisoners, his finger resting on the trigger guard, silently daring any of them to make a move. _

_"You stupid kid." the elder soldier remarked as the younger one started to stir, "You think that'll make any of this better?"_

_"Some of us don't give in to these peasants like that!" the young man struggled to his knees. Knute made sure to keep his rifle trained on him; the boy's youth and fanaticism had already cost him a friend._

_"And some of us want to live to see the end of this!"_

_"If you would surrender so easily then-"_

_"Enough! Both of you!" Knute leveled his rifle at them. He didn't need to hear this, not now. But it seemed like the boy didn't want to listen as his glare just shifted to the Gallian pointing the rifle at him._

_"And you won't intimidate me Gallian." he snarled, "As a soldier of His Majesty I will never-" whatever he was about to say was cut off by a gunshot. HThe boy'shead snapped backward as a single bullet punched through his skull and his body fell limp. Knute staggered a few steps, his ears ringing from the nearby shot. Still trying to center himself he looked towards the source of the shot. _

_Cezary stood over the fallen soldier, pistol in hand. It was frightening, he had never seen his friend do something like that. No, not that; he had never seen the man with such a look of intense hatred towards a fellow human being. Cezary often expressed his dislike of others, but even when he killed it was usually with indifference. This cold and focused demeanor was unnatural even for him. In the stunned silence he lowered his gun towards the fallen soldier.._

_He pulled the trigger, and again, and again; firing round after round into the already dead Imperial's body, the formely defiant soldier's corpse jerking with each shot. He didn't stop until the pistol clicked empty. Even then he simply ejected the empty magazine and slid a new one in place, clearly intending to repeat the process until he was out of ammunition._

_"You son of a bitch, you think that'll make it better!" Knute could see the situation turning sour. The noncom was trying to get to his feet when Cezary just booted him onto his back, and turned his sights onto him._

_"Cezary what are you doing!" Susie finally cried out. But she wasn't doing anything more, she was still knelt by Kevin's body, and her words weren't reaching him. He just leveled his gun at the soldier on his back. He wasn't listening, and Knute realized there was only one way to stop a complete massacre here. He dove into action, his plan boiling down to tackling and restraining his friend. He slammed into the sniper, who thankfully seemed to be too focused on his target. _

_"It won't change anything, put it down Cezary!" reasoning was out of the question. The sniper was struggling, trying to get back to his feet while he restrained him. It was a delicate situation, not only did he have to stop his friend from killing even more prisoners, he had to keep an eye on the prisoners throughout to make sure none of them made a break for it or tried to attack them. Thankfully they only seemed to be just realizing what was going on. It had happened so fast they didn't have time to react yet. And Susie seemed to finally snap out of it, and was trying to help pin down their enraged comrade._

_"They killed him! Those fucking Imps killed him!" Cezary wasn't listening, even his voice sounded like the ranting of a madman, "Let me go dammit!"_

_"Calm down or-" a well placed blow to the temple sent Knute sprawling as he was knocked off. Even as he attempted to get up he saw him shake off Susie as he scrambled to his feet. His pistol went up again. Still, even dazed the engineer struggled to get up and over there, though it looked like there would be at least one more casualty before this was through._

_"Corporal!" another voice, more importantly it was a brief moment where his friend hesitated. Knute didn't. Even though his senses weren't exactly about him he still lunged. He managed to grab the pistol and land a solid punch right to Cezary's face. His grip loosened and finally let go of the pistol as he staggered back._

_"What is going on here!" that being done he finally had a chance to find the source of the voice. Their reinforcements had finally arrived, probably attracted by the sound of gunfire. The speaker was Lynn, probably one of the people Knute least wanted to have found them at this point, "Corporal Regard I asked you a question! What happened here!"_

_Cezary only seemed to be able to stare numbly back. It looked as though the blow to the head had brought him out of his blood-lust, but he was in no condition to think rationally, much less talk._

_"Cezary, he-"_

_"A prisoner attempted to escape." he cut off Susie's explanation. As illegal and heartless as it was he couldn't blame his friend for reacting the way he did. The only reason Knute was able to think clearly was simply because he was so used to working under pressure. He was holding back a lot of grief that would probably bite him in the ass later, but for now he had to work to make sure that this ended as well as it could. He looked over at Susie, giving her a look that told her to keep her mouth shut, and thankfully the woman just nodded meekly. Good, and if their prisoners knew what was good for them they would keep quiet for the moment lest they trigger the sniper again. That left him and Lynn, and now he knew that he could handle the conversation, "Private Abbot was killed in the escape attempt. We need the prisoners secured and taken back to camp as soon as possible."_

_She looked at him, at Cezary, now sitting silently staring at Kevin's cooling body, and then the dead Imperial soldier as she made her way over to the only coherent member of the squad. She stopped only a foot from him and stared daggers into his eyes. It continued for a very uncomfortable few seconds before she began speaking in a low voice that he was pretty sure that only he could hear._

_"Knute, do you really expect me to believe that?" it was a rather straightforward question, and had he been an easily intimidated man he might have tripped up._

_"Indeed, as that is what occurred." he answered evenly, staring right back at her. He was not going to back down, "And considering what happened in the escape attempt I consider lethal force to be well justified."_

_"Executing a POW is forbidden by the Continental Treaty." she wasn't buying it, "And don't think that I couldn't prove it. And you damn well know that Regard deserves what's coming to him."_

_It was no secret that Cezary hadn't exactly endeared himself to the Darcsens in the squad. Granted, he had moved on to more just keeping away from them than antagonizing over time, but he and Lynn had butted heads on more than a few occasions. It was no surprise that she wanted him out of the squad. And she was right after all, he had executed an unarmed and for all intents and purposes helpless soldier, and if asked the remaining Imperials would undoubtedly confirm her suspicions. What he needed to do was ensure that never happened._

_"You are quite correct. And if that happened then I would agree that he should be tried and court martialed as necessary." he kept his voice calm and businesslike, no need to be emotional about it yet, "However, if that is to occur then I am afraid I must ask you to turn over your weapons and submit yourself to our superiors." and that got her. Lynn blinked, and then just stared in confusion as he continued on, "At least I believe that during the liberation of Bruhl that was you I saw shooting a surrendering Imperial soldier? One who I recall had almost killed your fiancée?"_

_"Violation of the Continental Treaty concerning the treatment of prisoners of war I'm afraid." He saw her grit her teeth at that. So he had touched a nerve, good. he leaned in a bit closer, "This war makes all of us do things we never thought possible; Not all of them are heroic. We just lost a good friend today, please don't make it worse Lynn. Just this once."_

_She paused, looked back over at Cezary and then sighed, "I know...We're even now." Knute just nodded as she turned back, "Get them out of here. Knute, can you-"_

_"We'll make sure Kevin is brought back." Knute replied. She wouldn't talk, and anything else he could probably cover for his friend. It was the best he could hope for. Looking over at the sniper he sighed himself. One problem was gone. Now came the hard part._

* * *

It was a quiet place, well tended as well. It was appropriate; the fallen soldiers of Gallia deserved their peace. At the moment though Cezary wanted someone to break that silence. It was too quiet, and he was just confused. That was perhaps the worst part of it. He was only just confused as he knelt in front of one of many grave stones:

_Kevin Abbot_

_Pvt. Gallian Militia_

_Second Europan War_

_March 8, 1910-November 3, 1935_

And that was it. Knute had told him about Kevin; he had been good friends with this person. And yet even with all of the stories all Cezary really knew about him was what he saw marked on that grave. No matter how hard he thought, no matter what he tried he couldn't remember anything. It was one of the worst parts about it all, that he couldn't even properly mourn the loss of his friend, but even with that in mind he found that he couldn't get upset. There were no memories, just the grave marker in front of him.

"Why didn't anyone tell me?" even all he could think to ask was that.

"You're asking why Catherine O'Hara did not relate something that might upset you?" Knute asked, "As for Marina? I suppose she did not care. As for Mrs. Koller and myself I confess that it simply did not come up until now. If you were meeting a person for the first time in a year would you immediately bring up the death of a friend?"

"But you didn't bring this up at all."

"I will admit that I avoided the subject." Knute said, his voice still calm even at the accusation that he had hid this fact, "I suppose I was trying to tell you some of the better stories of our days in the militia. Bringing up his death seemed inappropriate at the time. I did want to tell you eventually, but I preferred to gauge how well you would respond first."

"It just seems like something I should have known already. If Kevin and I were that close then why hide it from me?" it was still confusing, and Cezary wasn't sure what to think now.

"You'll notice that when you asked I didn't avoid the subject." Knute pointed out, "I had no intentions of keeping it from you. Why the others didn't say anything I believe I already explained. I understand if you are upset, but please realize that no one had any ill intentions."

"No, I know, I know..." Cezary sighed as he got to his feet, "And I don't even remember the guy I guess I shouldn't be too worked up over it...I looked over every inch of that grave, nothing came back. I don't remember a thing about him. And now I'll never be able to ask him about it huh?"

"I'm afraid the war took away some potential answers yes." Knute agreed somberly, "Some might call you lucky for not having to remember the deaths of friends."

"Yeah, someone already did." Cezary's gaze wandered back to the grave, "So who else didn't make it?"

"...We had very few casualties, many consider us lucky because of it." Knute said after a moment's thought, "Private Nancy Dufour, Private Mica Hawkins, Private Isara Gunther, and Corproal Yoko Martins did not make it either. _They_ say we are lucky, I've found that the fewer deaths mean that we remember them all the more clearly. It is quite the trade-off."

"So how did I take it?"

"As well as any man could." Knute shifted his own gaze onto the marker now, "I recall you raiding my stores for any bottle of liquor you could find, though I don't believe I was in much of a mood to stop you at the time. Lieutenant Gunther was...understanding enough to keep us off of patrol the next day. We drank, we grieved, we moved on. I was wounded shortly thereafter so I do not know how you were beyond then. Certainly you tried to keep a better sense of awareness afterwards, fear of losing someone else I suppose."

"And that's it? Nothing else?" considering what he had heard of himself Cezary was shocked to hear that he had dealt with the death of his best friend in such a manner.

"It was war Cezary. Unfortunately when the enemy is still banging at the gates you do not have time for proper grief." Knute's eyes met his, and for once, just for a second he could see everything the wounded man had been holding back; the pain, the sadness, every little horror that he had seen, "We learned a harsh lesson about that at the Marberry Shore. The war does not wait for us to be ready to face it. Though...I sometimes think you knew that already."

"You think so?" there was nothing else there for him, and he only felt like he had done it again in bringing up painful memories. Cezary turned to head back to the waiting car, Knute quietly fell into step beside him, "I thought I was more detached than that. I thought I wasn't really well liked."

"This was several months into the war, try to give yourself more credit." his friend paused for a moment, "We liberated a concentration camp at Fouzen, and we saw the conditions the prisoners were forced to live in. Abhorrent would be a curt way to describe it." Knute said this casually, like seeing inhuman horrors had been normal for him, "Something tells me perhaps that it was that. It was a shock to all of us...Ah, I am afraid I cannot explain it exactly. You were silent on the matter, but it was obvious that you had not escaped the truth of the camp." Knute could only shrug at what must have been a mystery to him as they reached the waiting car, "At least for a few weeks. Naggiar seemed to put you in better spirits, strange considering the intensity of that battle."

"You mean the Valkyrur?" his friend nodded at the question, "I guess that would do it right?"

"Well, the implications were a bit more severe than winning the battle." Knute looked like he wanted to explain more, but decided against it, "However you were doing much better even by the time we decided to raid that depot."

"If you say so." they were stopped at the car by now, Cezary stopped, leaning against the side as he gazed up at the sky, "I've heard a lot about Fouzen. Sounds like it was important."

"Perhaps; it was a significant event to everyone." was all Knute could reply after another moment's silence.

"Do you know anything else about it that might help me? Anything at all?"

Knute looked ahead as he finally got inside, again well in thought before replying, "If my memory is correct you were assigned with the younger Bielert at the time. I am afraid that is all I remember."

"I see." naturally Cezary was already thinking of how he could track down the brothers. He had it in the back of his mind ever since Koller had given him that picture, but now it seemed he had more of a reason to do so. Of course that was only for a few moments before he remembered where he was. It felt rude; he had just met one of his best friends from the war yesterday. And after he had offered him such hospitality he was thinking of leaving. It just seemed wrong. There was more that his old comrade could tell him he knew. Was trying to find another old squad mate the smart thing to do? The thought stopped him from asking to be taken to the train station right then.

"Thinking of tracking him down?" how this man could always tell what he was thinking was more than a bit disturbing. Still for his part Knute seemed to be taking it in stride.

"Well, yeah a bit." he had to admit that at least, "But I don't really know. I mean I practically just got here, and I'm sure that there's more you wanted to tell me-"

"You found me at a good time. I cannot guarantee I will be available. Building one's own business tends to be time consuming." Knute cut him off before he could finish, "And I will be here later. Trust me when I say that I am not going to be leaving Randgriz anytime in the near future."

"It almost sounds like you want me to go."

"That...well as I said my current work takes up quite a bit of my time." Knute shrugged, "As much as I would love to catch up with old friends I rarely have the time these days. Construction, licensing, bureaucracy, heh you would think that being a war hero would allow you some leeway. Apparently not."

"But are you sure you're okay with this?"

"Were you this hesitant with everyone you've met?" Knute seemed to find it funny, "I assure you that I hold no ill will towards you. I just believe that it is better if you continue on your way for the time being. I cannot answer all of your questions, and you deserve to find as many of the answers you seek. When you are done I will still be here, and willing to provide employment for old friends."

"You really are a businessman aren't you?" Cezary had to let himself laugh a bit at that. Still, he knew that he might take up his friend's offer. It wasn't as though he had many skills to work with, at least that he knew of, "Do you think that I'll actually find anything?"

"Until now you have met four members of your old squad." Knute stated almost like a school teacher, "If you can discover nothing important of yourself from the remainder that still live in Gallia then I will give you all of my profits, I swear it. You should not worry about it. It will work our for you eventually."

"I guess, thanks Knute." Cezary knew when to shut up, and his gaze shifted to the buildings moving past them. It was almost as though his friend had predicted this as well because he knew that they were heading towards the train station. Still he couldn't complain too much. At least this time he didn't feel as though he had dredged up too many painful memories. Granted with Knute it was hard to tell, but the man at the very least seemed content with his lot in life. Even after all that had happened to him he was the one who was looking ahead. Still, the visit had come with its share of more somber memories. He knew that he had already lost one friend, but those other names of the deceased; he wasn't sure how well he knew them. Hopefully these Bielert brothers wouldn't be as bad as Kevin. Or perhaps just as bad what if one of them had been mutilated just like Knute? The war was over, but even though he couldn't recall a second of it Cezary could still see its aftermath.

But then again he realized it was no use thinking about it. Coming to Randgriz he had never expected what had happened. At least he didn't have to assume that everyone had it bad now. Even wounded Knute was doing well, and neither of those brothers were dead so there was no reason to just assume that they were doing any worse. Meeting them could go poorly true, but maybe, just maybe he could begin to get some much needed answers.

* * *

A/N: Well...what can I say other than wow I suck? And here I thought this would get done sooner rather than later. Unfortunately one of those things that happens I guess. Truthfully I've had this chapter done for awhile, but never got around to posting it and I really don't know why. Something about it bugged me. At this point I'm contributing that to me being overly critical of myself and moving on. What more to say other than I will continue and another chapter will be released. But as I've discovered I'm really bad at deadlines. So the best I can say, and as I have said before, this will be finished. God help me this will be done.


End file.
